I need the right Demon to destroy the current me ( an honest cry for help)

General Discussion
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I need to contact the best Demon to work with to “destroy” the current me and then build me back up, guid me, teach me to grow into the best version of me for my self, my wife and our daughter.

I’ve made a few posts asking for advice on drinking, work and several Demonic entity’s but this one come from deep down inside me, I hate ME, I’m an alcoholic, I’m a compulsive liar, so much to the point that sometimes I believe my own lies, that I just continue to lie to cover up lies and so on.

I fuckin hate myself and my decisions and I want it to change but I need help, I need a Demon that will totally destroy the current me, but then be there to help me rebuild the new me with their wisdom, guidance and support.

I’ve read a lot about Belial, Azazel, Lucifer and King Paimon. But I don’t know where to turn to get a quick no bullshit approach, but without destroying parts of my life I need to survive and support my family.

I’ve had a strong pull towards Lucifer ever since I began this path and I fully believe Lucifer gave me some fatherly help monitarily not that long ago, but have had trouble hearing him, I can open his sigil quickly but beyond that I can’t seem to totally connect, maybe because alcohol is such a problem for me and causes me to not be completely in sync with Lucifer and other demonic entities.

That said, I can’t have my wife and daughter taken from me, especially my daughter, she’s the only reason I’m here, she’s my world. The reason I bring this up is because I’ve read Azazel will quickly remove “obsticals”. My daughter is in no way an obstical and my wife is becoming more and more open about my path I speak to her openly about my spiritual draw to Licifer and I do not want to lose either of them, I want to become the best version of me for myself, my wife and our daughter. My daughter never having heard my pull towards Lucifer defended me one night to my wife, (my daughter is six) my wife was kind of put out that I wear a ring with Lucifers sigil, my daughter grabbed my hand with the ring, looked at my wife and said, “Lucifer comforts daddy”. I have no idea where that came from.

I know there is a lot of mention in my post of Lucifer but I’m looking for options from those those that have seen my previous posts and this one that can offer some insight as to where to turn. I’m at that point where I can’t seem to help myself and I have a great respect for the Demonic royalty and their power and the fact I’m tired of my current self that is toxic as it gets in regards to drinking and lies as it comes.

This is a true cry for help and advice, and I appreciate all of you and the help you offer.

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For this level of shadow work Ime i recommend not a daemon, but the goddess Ereshkigal.

She is the Sumerian goddess of the underworld and will help you strip back to what’s really essential and help you build the person you want to be.

You can find an anthology of people who have worked with her on kindle cheaply to hear others stories about how she works with you.

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The Gatekeeper ritual should sort you out. Summon one of the Gatekeepers, explain your situation and ask if the ritual is a good solution for you. If yes, then request the mark of damnation to be given to you. So you’ll then perform the Gatekeeper ritual to damn yourself. This will destroy your false self in the process, but you’ll still be you - the real you, which is a far better version of you. :wink:

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Lucifer (based on what I have heard about him and your already pull towards him), Abbadon, Belial, Sorath, Lilith and Naamah would all be great ones to work with facing the shadows of yourself and rising about them. They are not always the easiest to work with at times but they certainly can help you along once you have gotten to know them and see if you get along.

As far as gods, any death/underworld deity would likely be beneficial for you.

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Two beings come to mind but my main go to for destroying yourself this way would be Abbadon. I think Lucifer will be the perfect spirit for you to build your life up once Abbadon has destroyed it.

I like @Mulberry ’s suggestion. Ereshkigal is a really good choice as well . However if you want to grow stronger have more spiritual power I think you would benefit from walking the path of smoke, specifically the current of Ahriman.

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Even your daughter told you, Lucifer comforts daddy, if that came out of nowhere it seems its a message to help you, after all, what better advice than the one from your own daughter, who is the embodiment of your love, if I was you, I wouldnt need to post on here for help, Id already know what to do, call Him…call Lucifer.

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My advice would be to seek out your higher self first and ask for guidance from them. That’s what I’ve been doing and it’s been going splendidly

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I agree with this or the Jotun Goddess Hel.

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Hello Phoenix, I read your post, and I know how you feel. I used to hate myself as well. To an extent I still do hate who I used to be - he was pathetic, weak, someone who let people walk all over him and couldn’t find the balls to actually say what he wanted. I used to be controlled by weed as well. I had to smoke every evening (I told myself that I deserved it), and my life, and wallet, suffered because of it. I have come a long way since then.

I understand your desire for complete destruction, and indeed this is something that I did myself. As someone who takes their practice pretty damn seriously, let me just say that I do not recommend this approach unless you are willing to step away from an ordinary life completely for many months. Destroying your self will destroy your world. If you have bills to pay and responsibilities to meet, this could make that rather challenging.

With that being said, a more gradual approach can yield rewards just as sweet. From what you have said, you seem to be feeling Lucifer’s call. I then recommend Lucifer and the Hidden Demons, by Theodore Rose. This book will allow you to discover the full scope of Lucifer’s potential, and yours as well.

Read the book, and consider which powers may be of assistance to you. To name a few here that seem appropriate, there is the power "to break out of current patterns, “to break an addiction,” “to create an air of dignity,” and the power of Lucifer himself, for when you are ready - “to make a situation reach its conclusion more rapidly, by manipulating time.”

I wish you good fortune and strength on the journey ahead of you. Remember that we all must fall, but it is the strong who rise again time after time, no matter the resistance they face.

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@shinri
I like everything you’ve said.
I know a few systems that are so transformative, but for that at least some stability is needed. Otherwise, things can become so complicated, even agonizing.

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Abaddon is an excellent choice, but in my experience it is a bit of a rough road. I didn’t have a whole lot of guidance and wasn’t in touch with me ancestors or guide spirits when I worked with him. He destroyed everything I asked him to… but not anywhere near how I asked him to. I was very specific, I got amazing results but it was painful, and I felt quite alone for quite awhile. I’m some ways I felt like I had to prove myself after. Like everything had to be earned.

Idk if that make sense lol.

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It makes sense and I agree with you. It is a rough, very rough road. The thing is, like you, I think Abbado is that he Indeed is an excellent agent of destruction but in the same manner he can destroy, he can also teach how to reubild into something stronger or better. To me - dealing with Abbadon will start the process transformering you into a Diamond. But of course like you say you need to be willing and prepared to listen, and open to communication with entities in order to work with Abbadon to be as safe as possible.

I know that I will sound like an edgelord of sorts for saying this. But sometimes the things that are destroyed that you haven’t wished - or asked for, might’ve been just what you needed in order grow. And also about earning your ascent, yeah sort of when working with Abbadon I foubd that letting go of things that bound me, and stop obsessing over minor things and control them, is what I needed in order to benefit from Abbadon’s workings.

Abbadon’s is just raw untempered power, that just consumes and manifest with a total disregard of anything, other than overcoming what’s in it’s way of continued growth. Everything he swallows dissolves and then recreated anew. At least from my experience that is sort of what he does and also he is such a potent Wild card.

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Beelzebub.

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Another excellent help can be :heart: Mammon :heart: if you are lucky and finds you worthy

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Contact yourself with the archetype of the Phoenix (you choose your name well)
he can teach you how to burn your old self and reborn anew, to transform and transmute.

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You know what’s crazy, I have been drawn to the Phoenix since I was a kid and have had its tattoo on my left arm since I was 18.

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Some suggestions that come to mind:

  • Samael
  • Belphegor
  • Eligos
  • Lilith
  • Eisheth Zenunim
  • Anand (Morrigan)
  • Astarte
  • Tammuz
  • Tiamat
  • (As previously mentioned by another poster) Ereshkigal
  • Anubis
  • Shiva
  • Kali
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I really appreciate everyone chiming in with suggestions. A lot of you have suggested Abbadon, I honestly don’t know that I’m ready to go to that extreme as I do have a wife, daughter and a job I honestly can’t loose right now I couldn’t out my wife and daughter in that position.

I’m definitely going to continue my path with Lucifer, I had an incredible connection with him last night on into the morning, that said I’ve only had about 2 hours of sleep, but the connection and time spent with Lucifer was well worth the loss of sleep.

I got home from work and as usual cracked a beer, before I even opened it I heard a voice say “no” about 3 or 4 times, I being a stubborn ass, ignored it and drank the first beer but felt wrong about it, I then opened my second beer and was told no again and stop, the second beer tasted horrible and I through it out and began to meditate and chat Lucifers Enn and speak to him.
Overall a great couple hours spent with him. Thank you Lucifer for you time and presence.

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Sounds like you have a plan. Yeah I wouldn’t go with abaddon unless you can accept whatever he does, because like I said, I was very specific and he definitely got me the results I wanted but I’m certain I wouldn’t have ponied up to the cost willingly.

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If I didn’t and a family to consider then I’d be completely open to Abbadon, but I cant just up and losse everything, I couldn’t do that to them, especially my daughter at 6 years old.

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