I very sorry to that… I think this is much bugger problem in society than people know. I’m probably going to end up writing a book once I get out of this to help others and have done it myself.
1 Like
I guess I use this to vent as I have no one else to talk to about it. But I am very proactive… Metaphysically, Physically (working building online businesses and freelancing), Magickally and Energetically. But after so many years of abuse (as that what it really is when someone intentionally violates your boundaries knowing it sends you in to depression) it has become automatic response at times. So I’m doing my part. The only thing I have not done is to sell off all of my possessions and just leave. I just really don’t want to do that as it’s a lot of work and is not creating income but selling off things I want and need at a fraction of the value.
Most of my life I did everything on my own never looked out side of my self except to source. I could manifest with just intent. Until all of this happened. I don’t know what I’m supposed to learn from this it’s done nothing for me positive. It’s very hard for me to label this as positive.
I’m truly sorry to hear about your situation. Bind her before it happens and get a restraining order if it does. I’m going to start doing some Bindings myself and after I get out on my own I’m going to get one if she even comes near me.
I tell my mom to fuck off all of the time. I tell her to get out of my life I have been doing that for years it goes in one ear and out the next. She just then does some passive aggressive attack.
I moved and she tracked me down and started again. Once I move now it will be out of the state or I will got to a family lawyer and get a restraining order and have her put away if she violates it. This situation is not from me not standing up to my mother. My mother is either a Sociopath or Possessed for cursed. This is not my failing from not letting her know how I feel or setting boundaries. This is a person that will intentionally do everything I say not to do, to violate any boundary I set. I have seen her do it to men when I was growing up and how it would infuriate them. She’s Mentally Ill or something and takes no account ability for her actions.
My failing was not being able to control my emotional states and reactions but when you grow up with it and brainwashed to think it’s normal behavior and it’s your only parent that you loved more then anything or anyone as a child. It’s not quite as simple as suck it up, be man and tell her stop (as many would think, probably even me had I not experienced it)… Been there done it had Zero Effect.
@JustAnotherGod
I have had to deal with 2 people in my family with similar behavior. Just recently was freed from the second one.
All I can say is that the problems you are facing are mostly internal. Even now, you say things like:
But you already know this doesn’t work with these people. Focus on bindings, freeze spells, etc. And yes, meditation is your biggest ally. This kind of abuse only works because your emotions are not under your control. Mine aren’t either, completely. But meditation allowed me to get to a point where I was not reactive anymore. I didn’t engage with that person at all aside from surface banter. In the meantime, I focused on meditation. I started with just meditating every day. I couldn’t get into a routine like I could before or the abuse would tear everything down eventually. Start small as @Prophet said. Be consistent. This is your battle.
The silence of the gods/entities isn’t because they don’t exist or because they don’t care. It’s because this trial is yours to face. You must through your own strength overcome this trial. It will probably be the hardest trial in your life, or damn near close. But once you come out the other side of it, not much can bring you back down again. Trust me.
2 Likes
I agree with all of what you said. It keeps coming to me that I have to do all of this on my own. So if I can do this I don’'t need Gods, Demons or Angels. Which right back where I started acting as source.
I’m new to Magick but not to Metaphysics or spirituality. So I never knew how to do bindings or freezes until just a few months ago.
I only reached out outside of myself because nothing I could do worked. And I can barely maintain my emotional state at times and my life kept getting worse and worse. Years of a situation like is is very depleting.
Thanks for your input.
3 Likes
Well my friend; you are in a very difficult situation. Just like me… there are very eerie an sinister similarities to my situation. In few words; same shit, different story.
And just like you, I know I brought this upon myself.
Well for now, I am trying to calm and quiet my mind. I know, your mind should be like a powerful hurricane of negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Right now I am working with Kali, from the Hindu pantheon. Many will warn you that this is a very strong and powerful and that you should watch out. Yes, she is very strict and does not like fooling around and will not tolerate any disrespect. But all this if for YOUR own good. Besides, your case I think we can all agree, is very serious stuff.
So I would recommend some mantra mediation. Look into Baal Kadmon’s “Kali Mantra Magick”. Very simple and you don’t need a lot (just a candle, incense, mala beads and a figure/sigil of Kali) At least I get a few hours of peace after doing the mantra mediation. I am sure you would experience the same. You have the advantage that you know how to do manifestation work. You can do this after achieving some peace after the meditation.
Note: Please also research about Kali on your own, through books or online. Kadmon’s info on Kali is very watered down and oversimplified (just like all his other books).
When you figure out how to get out of this big mess, please let me know how you did it. If I figure it out first, I will certainly let you know how I did it.
Best regards,
Chostard
3 Likes
Just an update…
Things are getting better. I started working with some Demons (Ancient Gods), First the name Vassago came to me when I had some questions about the past. I had read about all of the 72 Demons but didn’t consciously remember what he did. When I read it. I saw. I spoke to him but did nothing formal but it I still got some questions answered. I couple have not been yet.
Then Bune kept coming to me. So I started working with (to me Bune feels Feminine and maybe is also Wadjet/Buto of Egypt, as least that’s what resonated with me). Then also had a strong desire to study about he Ankh (also get one) and start studying about Egyptian Magic. I have been seeing very fast results with Bune, small things mostly but also since I have started working with her I get tingles on my left side a lot but only when talking about or focusing on certain subjects. I came to her first by Asking Lucifer if I could work with her as I have built up trust with Enki/Shiva/Lucifer and feel very safe with Him/Those aspects,
Here is the most impressive thing that has happened to me. I have no fear anymore about any of this stuff or demons/Gods. My Anger and PTSD explosions against my mothers have reduced 90% and she’s now helping me to get my own place again (close to her but it’s step in the right direction. My sales of my product are increasing and I have been lead to other information I needed.
I now feel like the 8 years of hell was almost necessary to push me on to this path. Because as soon as I started working with the Daemons everything shifted. I see how with out the pain I would have never gone this route. Also these is timing in the past all LHP material was only about Dark/Gore/Negative. I don’t see it that way now and I see a lot of people seeing it like I do and without all of the Theatrics. I’m not sure where my path will lead yet. But I think it has something to do with the putting it all together Yin/Yang, Light/Dark and then writing about it so others can benefit without the fear. I still work with Angels and Source and using my own power is still paramount to me. But I now see how these beings can be of great assistance.
I have done a lot of study but I only use what feels right to me not Dogma, because I see how people only beliefs and filter and alter the messages we get. Such as Bune being male.
The only trepidation I have had was when I red about Bune Moving Spirits into where you live. But as long as they are not harmful and beneficial I don’t see it as an issue as we have other worlds around us all of the time filled with spirits. But that would freaked me out years ago, no I have not allowed myself to fear. I have no reason to. I have been working on my own terms and getting results.
Years ago about 20 I wrote a poem (i can’t find it right now) That included the line “Angels & Demons stand guard at my side” I didn’t know it was a prophesy for myself I was writing. I was something I wrote for someone I cared about who was under attack. But I guess it was for me also.
6 Likes
I think this part is crutial!
You shouldn’t have to fight this on your own at all anymore.
There’s law to interrupt.
Either seperating her from you,
or sending her to jail.
For what you describe,
you’re subconcious is lashing out to kill her,
but you can’t allow it and supress the feeling.
Funny shortly before i had a family situation being pushed to my face before.
Look, at your stage in life, you’re merely her food.
She doesn’t respect you, nor will she ever do that.
@Micah - Food for you.
I consider this killworthy!
What do you think?
- send the left over Energy to Azazels Soul forge when you’re done.
Sin,
¥’B
3 Likes
The truth is she is mentally ill and won’t get help. She’s Narcissistic, Passive Aggressive, and co-dependent and and energy vampire. I have to give credit where credit is due. She was a very good mother until I was about 15 or 16. This is why I don’t want to harm her. She has also always been there for me when I need her. In fact I now have no one else to turn to.
The problem is that she does to me what she had men do to her when she was young. She destroyed my life (I do not know if it was consciously or unconsciously done.) so she could then save me.
She’s born again but I have seen her burn black candles. One time she did that to remove a woman from the life of a man she was dating. She won and got him, and he stole her house. One reason I don’t do spells like that unless I divine it’s for my and their good. She’s an unthinking person and must be autistic or have Asperger’s on some level as she has no ability to have empathy to calibrate and see if she is making someone uncomfortable.
She does nice things for me as long as she can control me and keep me around. The problem is I’m broke and nothing I do works. I know it’s because my energy is suppressed.
I don’t know if I had to go thought this, if I got roped into a some soul contract (I have been looking for answers) which I’m trying to break. I know on some level I have created this, by my lack of emotional control and having compassion that was not tempered by wisdom… but when you’re born into and do everything you can to get the person to stop it fucking hard. I have learned some very, very, very painful lessons though this.
While I am a true victim if I had better emotional control and had learned the lesson of balancing Compassion with wisdom (a very hard lesson it’s been) I would have just gotten a restraining order and had her locked up.
I live with her now and need her help to move out, she says she will help me financially to get out. I guess she is finally seeing that this also backfired on her as well. When ever you seek to control others for long duration these kinds of results tend to be in store.
Once I move out this time I will contact a lawyer and get a restraining order if she comes near me at all. I had hope to heal this relationship but I don’t think it’s possible.
Please do not Kill her. That would presently make me homeless and my life worse so that would be against my will and not helpful.
The only answer is to manifest a way out into a better situation and then I will bind her and get a restraining order and have her locked up if she can not respect me. I have been working with some Demons recently to BUNE have been of great help and comfort. I have also worked with another not well known to make her feel remorse. And I’m going to do a binding just to keep her away while I live here.
Sadly this is something that a lot of single mothers do to their sons. They turn into Vampires and suck the life out of them.
I will emerge from this stronger. Because that is my Will!
1 Like
We have a complete section on vampirism.
My brothers and sisters of the night there might be helpful for you.
If nothing else, at least have a read there and ask for shielding techniques.
I’ll share one of my own personal Shielding techniques with you:
Listen to it while performing,
i found the Energy is very reliable.
Imagine an inner orb of light, stretch around your body.
Imagine an outer layer of Shadow build around it.
The Shadow sphere growth spikes and thorns outwards,
like an octupus or thornbush.
Those attach what’s comming your way to harm you,
absorb it’s energy and transmute it into positive energy by feeding the inner shield.
The more you get attacked while this shield is active, the stronger it gets.
It’s a shield i use in battle.
Sincerely,
¥’Berioth
2 Likes
Thank you very much I do need that as I’m an Empath. I also have Angel/Demon like suit I wear at times that reflects back all unwanted negative energy and shield with Archangels. Funny I have found that when I work with both Angels and Daemon as the same time I feel much better and less affected.
2 Likes
The problem with being Empathic is you are weak due to being Open. Your problem is your complete Opposite so can be seen as your Spiritual Lesson. Shut down all your Sensitivities and go to War. Give her a Permanent End.
3 Likes
Thank you for your input. Yes I know she is a lost cause. And yes there will be no mutual people as the rest of my family on her side either don’t her. They have all intervened but really I believe I will not be in much contact with them as let’s just say the one person that was like my brother was not there for me at my very lowest point. So there is no reason to have someone like that in my life.
My failing was lack of emotional control, and also did not balance my compassion with wisdom. It’s also hard because Society in General Worships Mothers and if you say anything bad about your mother you are the bad guy I got over that years ago fortunately, but at the time it was a factor on at least an unconsciousness level, I even had women stop dating and lost a friend me because I didn’t like my mother and people lose respect for you, because they have no experienced it. So now once the done I will just leave that part of my life out, no need to talk about it.
My plan is to get financially stable get away and either move far away or bind her and get a restraining order. I have been working with Bune with what you suggested. But I know my state of being feeling trapped, powerless and like I’m watching my life slip by and dealing with Anxiety from being around her is not helping and might be blocking it.
Funny thing is I don’t have Co-Dependency issues really, she does. I tried my best to get away, and stopped talking to her for 2 years. One time I was so sick I was not sure if I’d survive (food poisoning or a flu not sure) I never called her for help as I didn’t want to give her a way back in. I should have gotten a Restraining order then, I actually was building a case and getting letters from people for court.
I have worked with men before and Single Mothers are known for this. Not all are this bad. But most miserable men I know have a mother as part of the problem. Not all of course. And I know she is a Narcissist I’m not making an excuse for her nor do I buy into hers when she plays the victim and imposes her double standards and tried to justify her actions or tell me It my Reaction not her.
I have has a lot of awakening regarding her and her behavior she is a toxic person I have known it for years. I almost got away. This time I will succeed. And I will check out that youtube channel.
The worst part is that being raised by a Narcissist with out a father is I’m sure I have also picked up some of her behavior and traits which also has caused me problems. Because maybe I’m might display some of it, but my compassion and ethics have prevented me from ever truly being one as I would never to do someone what was done to me not even in revenge.
I need to manifest a large some of money to get out of this, I almost did and then got very sick (had I not been around her I don’t think would have gotten sick. I have been sicker than I had been in 10 years since I moved in here with her) and lost it all back. I was Investing/Trading.
I’m asking for help from Ancient Gods/Deamons, Angels, All Benevolent Beings, because I have not been able to do it on my own. I used to be the exact opposite and always wanted to prove I cold do it on my own.
Another thing I have noticed is I have no desire for conflict, challenges, tests… I’m just worn out tired. Which is why I have not done the most logical thing and just gotten any kind of job. I worked for years to get away from having jobs. I do work hours and hours as well as working on myself and studying and looking for answers.
I want to learn and grow but not if it comes at the price of anymore pain. I’m basically emotionally and spiritually Shellshocked from a 30 year battle with the last 8 being the worst. I don’t even believe this is my life.
I really don’t know what keeping me alive honestly. Bune just sent her Presence. She comes around any time I get depressed or talk like that. I guess I now have a Guardian Deamon 
I want a life doing what I love because I know anything else is really a trap that will lead to more misery and I’m too old to waste time. It’s one thing to tough it out in your twenties. Another in your late 40’s fortunately I look much younger by design and lifestyle, so I’m grateful for that and it’s one good thing I learned from her. to take care of myself.
That the thing is that she will do nice things for me like buy the best food and vitamins and supplements but she also put me through hell, still does things I ask her not to do, ad stresses me out and has no remorse. She has gotten better marginally. She will leave he place or stay in her room to give me space. But she also tries to start conversations with me and then it triggers my Anxiety / PTSD and I’ll be yelling at her in 5 minutes. Then she get’s mad at me yelling. And I get mad she that she fucked my life up when I wanted nothing more than to be left alone to enjoy the life I built. So there is no option to get away. She is a lost cause. And I need to get away heal and rebuild. It’s very hard to forgive while your in it and I need to forgive myself and her (not to help her but to help myself) and just accept this is what it is.
I get talkative when Vaping Weed. Maybe I needed to vent or let it out and what a great thread this will be when I come and post it’s all resolved, I’m in my own place, and prosperity and abundance is flowing into my life again. Time for bed suns coming up. I have always been Nocturnal.
She will be her own undoing. I can see it already. My only job will be to not let her back in my life. As soon as I’m gone I think she won’t last long. I feel like she is living of my energy. A few people have suggested seeing if she is cursed or being directed by some other force. I think she might have attachments or something.
Didn’t you do all of that before?
Wasn’t it clear and obvious that she broke you down even after achieving these points?
I’m not a person of low moral code, nor do I like going around killing people just to entertain me.
But your case really sounds like it’s the best solution. She 's still in your head, even now as you write, and of course that’s understandable.
It just won’t go anywhere reasonable when you repeat what failed already before.
Sincerely,
¥’ Berion
2 Likes
Oh I did notice that.
I did notice that the situation he tries to flee from haves more than one angle. Point for me is,
He won’t reap any reasonable results with a simple mood or situation change.
To get out of that state he already had succeeded, yet fell back on his ass.
I’m not suggesting him to go on and repeat the same process which failed before.
And to be honest, there is a lot of people who die long before their 70th birthday, so I don’t really see an argument against stepping in and changing that for good.
Sin,
¥’ Berion
1 Like
Is it actually weakness? He calls her vampire again and again. And we know that can mean something completely different then suckin blood.
40 years of living as primary cattle to your princess doesn’t sound just like weakness to me.
Pulsua Denura aquidem,
Nocturnis carcarassus.
Sin,
¥’Berioth
1 Like
No I did not do all of that before. If I had i would not be where I am now. If you read all of the thread you will see that I used to be very successful and self made in spite of her. I am working with the Non-physical now to stop it. I only got into Magick very slowly over the past two years. Before this all a happened I could manifest with just intent.
I have been dealing with the my whole life but it came to a head when I broke away for two years. I have live by myself since I was in my 20’s. But she was always a hassle. But when I had finally had enough and was strong enough to end it. She would not go away and harassed and stalked me and got worse. I think I have already explained all of it.
Part of why I’m still in this is the feeling or belief that I’m supposed to resolve this from within in, at this point I’m not sure if that very profound and for my growth or just bullshit keeping me stuck.
To be totally honest if I had anyone to offer me a room, family friend, I’d be out of here in heartbeat and never look back. If I the money to move I’d move right now. I have been building some online businesses and trading crypto. I don’t like to work for other people which is why I built my own businesses before. But I might have to take a job now as at least it will get away from here while I’m working get me some money and what I have been working on can be extra income now that it’s set up.
It’s hard to see the entire situation from a few post as this is complex. I also have a storage full of stuff actually a few.
This of it this way… Imagine a Wealthy Parent that could not let go of their kid so they sabotaged them to keep them on their life and house (she had been trying to get me to move back with her since the day I left), but when the parent get there they treat them very well just like when they were a kid. Unless the subject of what has been done is brought up. Then they attack passive aggressively.
Not that you have done that, take away the wealthy parent and substitute in a struggling parent but does the best she can to give her kid everything she can for their health. It’s all about control, manipulation. She gave her life for me (which I never asked for) and now being my mother is her identity and reality.
I did not want it. I don’t want it. But since I have no choice or way out… I accept any help she offers. Because what’s the point not to. Just makes my life even worse. While at the same time I’m working on my way out of this… I just have learned that the more I fight the worse it get’s like quicksand. The danger is getting lulled into complacency or getting too comfortable. But I’m not because I can’t but a few days suicidal thought don’t energy my mind. But know I My Guardian Deamon come to me and send me peace and love. Funny that I never had an Angel to it or if it did it was not as consistent. Enki/Lucifer also has been great help.
So as I said I had not tried those things then. I am implementing them now.
1 Like
I’m not weak, I have been weak and confused in the past. if I was weak I’d have killed myself by now. Shasha Don’t judge me as you have not lived my life. I don’t need your approval of my actions. But I thank you for your Original message before you attacked and your desire to help. We don’t all have the same Moral or Ethical code or journey.
Part of my journey is to learn when to be compassionate and when not as that was my failing. I tired to help my aging mother when I become successful and she stabbed me in the back. I did not know what a narcissist was back then, I had hope to have a healthy relationship with her. And when I saw it was not possible I broke all ties and then I was stalked.
Being this my only parent that as I child I loved more than anything and being a fucking empath it’s not that fucking easy, and the I got hit with the bad economy and everything came tumbling down.
I really don’t want to talk about it any more. I have to focus on being out this not talking about and explaining to people as that is the wrong energy reliving it over and over. I thank you all for your input and concern. I’m in a much better place than when I first created this post.
Without this living hell maybe I would not ever have been exploring the dark or worked with Daemons and found the Truth about Lucifer. Maybe there is some purpose or maybe it’s up to me to define the purpose and what it will mean for me.
If soul contracts or life missions exist, maybe this is preparing me for mine… I don’t know and you can get lost in all of that and I think I have. So now it’s just get out of here as soon as possible and figure out the rest later.
And to do that I have to stay positive, focused and out of depression, that’s what the Weed help with. It keeps me productive and working and also do better magick. I used it with intent.
2 Likes
I meant that by you’ve tried to and failed before.
Or to be more precise, you said you had a life where you manifested,
but sticked to light work and wealth flurished,
And you asked for dark intervention, didn’t you?
- I did look into your situation.
Sure, i can see you disliking my option.
With that, I’ll be fine.
It’s your life that - to stick to your own words…
Well, i told you how i see the situation.
Besides, weed surely isn’t the worst substance Magicians - as well as mundane people consume. 
And after all, i actually still look for a perspective where you
successfully.
Sincerely,
¥’Berioth
1 Like
Well, at least that’s nice to know.
Most importendly, come to understand that even that Emotion of Depression can be channeled and used to grow power out of it.
After all, knowing what you Don’t Want can push you forward even heavier then seeking a goal you decided by your own.
Sincerely,
¥’Berion
1 Like