I Need Advice in the Worst Way

Okay this is all probably going to sound like a big rant but please hear me out. You may have noticed my gradual decline in participation here and when I do show up I haven’t had anything real helpful to add to the conversations lately and I probably seem to be real moody too. I need advice because I’m about to lose it and felt this was the only place where a few people would possibly understand how I feel and not accuse me of being irrational.

Some of you know I am staying with my parents temporarily until I can get my house built next spring, the winter gets way too muddy and nasty around here to start building anything. I have been living on my own since I was 18 because I cannot stand rules, authority figures or feeling like I lack my own indepedence. I like to be in control of my life and not have to cater to someone else’s desires to get what I need so I have always tried to be on my own.

Living with my parents again has been really hard on me emotionally and mentally but like I said, I’m not good with authority so living in apartments has resulted in me constantly being kicked out of every place I’ve ever lived. I have no problems paying my bills, I get evicted because I either get a new neighbor with too many kids that constantly keep me up all night then wake me up again at 6:30 a.m. every day with their screaming and loud footsteps.

I’ve also had landlords that insisted on entering my home to snoop without cause or permission, or telling me I can’t have a friend visit more than twice a month without asking for her permission first. Bitch, I ain’t your 13 year old daughter and I pay my rent on time, I don’t have to ask you permission. So you can see why I feel unstable living in rentals because I never know when I’m going to be kicked out again and have to scramble to find a new place in a short amount of time, which is why I am building my own house in the country away from other people with no landlords in control of me.

My daughter lives here with my parents because they adopted her when she was really little. I never wanted any children and tried my damndest to get sterilized when I was 20 because birth control makes me deathly ill and I’m allergic to condoms so I tried to be responsible but the doctors all said no, you’re too young and will regret it when you’re 30 and I ended up pregnant that very same year. I was also a premature baby and had some female problems which kept me from getting pregnant for many years and my doctor finally told me I never would have kids, so I was in shock when I get a new boyfriend and end up pregnant almost right away, who took off when the baby was born and I haven’t seen him since.

But I simply can’t afford a child by myself and am not fit to take care of one because I would literally forget to feed and bathe the child because my ADHD keeps me severely distracted, I can’t even remember to feed myself half of the time. I remain in my own little word and even with 5 different reminders I still forgot what I’m supposed to do and cannot focus. Trust me, if I kept custody of her the CPS would’ve been taking her eventually for some stupid reason that I wouldn’t mean to happen like not going to school enough, she’d be tardy every other day because I sleep so heavily that even an alarm clock cannot wake me up. Or she’d mention black magick at school and accidentally convince the teachers I am a devil worshipper who is sacrificing animals in the house and it’s unsafe for a child.

Anyway, I’ve mentioned before that my parents give my daughter extreme preferential treatment over me and they have raised my daughter as a conformist christian so my daughter literally is a brown nosing goody two shoes that aims to please my mom at all costs. She continually rubs it in my face when she gets something for a holiday that I’ve been wanting for years on end to make me feel unwanted.

She tells on me over everything like I’m her 13 year old big sister that’s picking on her or something “she did this to me” “she won’t let me do that” and so on. That’s bad enough as it is because my mom actually reacts to me like I’m 13 and tries to punish me. My mom wants me to act grown up yet she wants to punish me like a child. My daughter knows that I have a sensory processing disorder and will purposefully make loud and repetative noises in my ear and then follow me around when I move away from her to avoid the noises. She is intentionally trying to upset me and all I say to her is please, you know how badly those noises hurt mommy’s head are you trying to get me to say something so you can tell on me again? And she will run to my mom “granny, my mommy is being hateful to me and yelled at me!”

I never yelled at all so I tell my mom, she’s lying again, I did not yell I asked her politely to stop and she wouldn’t so I asked if she was trying to upset me on purpose and she ran in here and told on me. And my mom never listens to me, instead she yells at me and says don’t you dare call her a liar ever again, she is a sweet little girl and would never lie to anyone, how dare you say that!

I try to pull my mom aside and explain things to her like an adult is supposed to do, she won’t give me the time of day to hear me out. She continually believes my daughter over me and then gets angry at me when I try to explain what really happened and says get out of my face before I get angry and throw you out onto the street. I am trying to be mature but my mom is always insulted when I say my daughter is lying! She acts like I just said something horrible instead. I have tried every month this year to talk to my mom alone. I know she doesn’t believe my daughter would do anything wrong because she goes to church and gets straight A’s but she enjoys getting me yelled at because she has no siblings and nothing to do most of the time so she tries to occupy herself at my expense.

The only reason my daughter started acting like that around me is because my mom made it a point over the last few years to tell her “your mommy is a pagan heathen and doesn’t attend church and is a sinner, and I am your mother now.” My mom actually tells everyone she meets that my daughter is hers by birth. I cannot take this anymore and if my opportunity to build a home that I own and can feel secure in is lost, I will hold it against my daughter for eternity because my parents are actually saving to pay for her college and buy her first home which they never did for me, so she’ll never know what’s it like to struggle to get ahead.

I cannot save for a place of my own while paying rent, bills and groceries, that’s the whole reason my dad invited me back here so I could save up in 12-16 months instead of 16 years which is how long it would take me if I was paying $800 in bills every month.

I normally don’t let anyone treat me this way, trust me I have beat the shit out of other people for just trying to but I am dealing with it because it will benefit me in the end. It’s much better than resorting to selling drugs or becoming a dirty prostitute to earn the money. But my dignity has been lost in the process and I am about to snap violently if I don’t find a magickal way to cope with this. Sometimes you have to take one for your own team to ensure a brighter future for yourself. I hate having my dignity and pride damaged like this but it’s for my future livelihood which anyone else would do too if they had no other choice.

I’ve been completley homeless before and trust me, you may not have rent or bills to pay but you can’t save a dime when you’re homeless when you have to eat expensive fast food every day because you don’t have a home with a stove. Even 99 cent items can blow your entire income very quickly and homeless shelters in my area only let you stay there for so many days in a row before you have to rent a hotel room or sleep under a bridge. My dignity can easily be restored once I’m set for the future and out of this house but I am starting to resent that I ever allowed my daughter to be born, she is literally ruining my life and no parent should ever feel that way about their biological child so you know this is really bad and is taking a major toll on me mentally.

I don’t wanna seem like a psycho which is why I asked for help, but my psychiatrist barely speaks english and won’t give me back the meds that actually help me control my emotions but she is the only doctor my insurance will cover right now. So can someone please suggest what to do. I already have my familiars pulling strings left and right and influencing my mom every time she is ready to kick me out but this can only go on for so long. How can I make my daughter grow up a little and realize how her actions are going to hurt me if I end up homeless because of her? And get my parents to finally realize that my daughter is being a manipulative brat behind their backs and stop favoring my daughter long enough to actually listen to me? The few times my parents have caught her treating me this way, they just dismiss it as pre-teen female hormones as their excuse for not punishing her.

I can handle this on my own, but the way I’m feeling right now I will do something irrational and hurt several people in the process so I am asking for alternative solutions before I end up doing something stupid that can’t be undone.

What a nightmare! So sorry to hear this, and I won’t get into details about my own past, but I understand being in situations where you have to tolerate stuff because the alternative is worse.

Things that come to mind, in no specific order:

  1. try to film your daughter, not once but several times, doing things to annoy you, and then play a short compilation of multiple incidents to your mother when you’ve buttered her up somehow to be in a good mood.

  2. you keep running into authority figures in the worst way, try soul-travelling to Dhjuty who holds Wisdom and asking him why that pattern repeats time and again. He helped me with a repeating pattern in my own life, and he’s incredibly powerful in a way that doesn’t rely on scare stories or terrifying manifestations. The Egyptian gods, the Netjer, are powerful, old, and wise.

  3. can you somehow convince them you’re stepping away from your beliefs just long enough to get a break from the harassment? We’re not evangelists, we’re not required to be martyrs to the cause, so LIE - if it gets you what you want, it’s surely better than never-ending hassles. Say you met a hot Xian guy online or something, or start asking them questions about their faith in a way that implies you might feel you’re missing out - whatever it takes to get them to think you’re seeing the light, at last.

  4. can you wear earplugs when your daughter follows you round making this noise that jams up your brainwaves? The foam ones sold online are pretty good, and affordable too.

  5. I hate to say this, but an illness or injury to one of them that takes their focus OFF you… maybe that’s a bit too harsh but under the circs, you sound really at the end of your tether here and I know the mind-wringing domestic terrorism of living with people who constantly bug and derange you in this kind of fashion. At least try sending your daughter nightmares to stop her bugging you in this specific way.

  6. as a sideline, can you work on a spell to manifest a man who can actually take you completely away from all this? I’m not saying it’s the best solution, but it might be worth having as a sideline. Or, if not a guy, a female friend (fellow witch/pagan/whatever) to move into the area who you can spend more time with, and who can maybe be a witness to what your daughter’s doing, and call her on it?

  7. meds - can you maybe do a spell to knock out (of your life) the psych who won’t give you the meds that you find most effective, and get a new one in? That kind of “coincidence” is what magick’s really good at, and IMO any medic who won’t help their patients deserves all they get, they sign up to do that work and they take plenty of income and social status from it after all.

  8. try soul-travelling to your mother’s Higher Self, then your daughter’s and father’s - state your case to them plainly and see if they can intereven. I won a guy over once (against all the odds) by doing this, I posted about that before, and you can sometimes have a significant effect, especially when the person’s behaviour is petty, ignoble and not advancing their own soul’s evolution. Worth a try. Let me know if you need the method used in core shamanism for this.

Please forgive me if you already went over, and dismissed, these ideas yourself (or they just look dumb as paint) - obviously if there was a single simple answer, you’d have found it by now.

Also, the links I’ve posted at the bottom of this post have all the methods I’ve used to get my own head straight and (most important) escape inside my own head when things got tough - I was reading the other day that the US government teach similar things to agents they think are likely to be captured and tortured, to create a safe mental escape so the reality of the outer world doesn’t drive them crazy.

Things that often help with mental state: try eliminating gluten for a few weeks, see how that feels; try the same with dairy, eggs, and nightshade plants (info freely available online) in sequence afterwards - sometimes we have a food intolerance that’s not serious enough to be obvious, but when we cut out the cuase, we feel better.

Also, try to avoid all seed oils, they seem to aggravate systemic inflammation and that creates a bad mental state; watch artifical sweeteners, aspartame especially is linked to neurological problems, again loads of online info about that; try to eat more oily fish, and avocadoes, and drink plenty of water.

You may, again, have tried these, but they’re all things that helped me and also people I know with our mental states (some of us diagnosed, some not), so at risk of stating the obvious, this is just a brain dump of everything I can think of right now.

Thanks Eva, I wil try some of those tips. I think my daughter is just conflicted because she constantly has my mom trying to train her into strict christian ways and she is so sheltered from everything, literally the worst thing she’s had happen is kids name calling at school. But she is unable to sympathize with people over bad situations because of her sheltered life, aside from a few things she’s learned at church.

Sorry for writing such a book earlier but I needed to vent, like I said my doc is worthless and never suggests anything to help me based on what I say she just listens to me talk then says okay, you come back on this date bye bye now. She’s from India. Yes I constantly end up with horrible landlords that think since they own the building that I have no rights while staying there. They are all like that around here especially if you don’t look like a church going old school marm virgin, most are religious and discriminate against everyone else but they are happy to take your money while looking for a reason to kick you out unlawfully.

The acting thing wouldn’t work, I’ve tried it before and my mom has never fallen for it because I’ve been anti-conformist since I was like 2, for real. Most of my friends have tons of kids and are attached at the hips to their husbands so an escape is not really possible. My childless friends are people I had to stay away from, they changed over the years and are always in jail so just being near them would have the local police following me around and looking for things to accuse me of, assuming I must be a criminal too. I’m a loner these days, so I will try to look for dietary supplements that can help and try calling on Dhjuty.

Be careful with fish oil supplements because the ones that have gone rancid are worse than none at all - oxidised oils create a chain of inflammation that has negative effects.

I’m not sure what the best brands are in the USA, and need to keep a UK IP address right now because we’re watching local TV online, so I think that’s a job for Mr Google. :slight_smile:

RavenAscent ! after going through your post, all i can say is you have the magick, so use it. All the suggestion given by Lady Eva is Gold, follow them. You may not have so many helpful human near you to help you but remember, if you are a magician you are not alone, because a magician is never alone. He always have powers and spirit ally available for help, considering your magickal ability you should use them to solve your problem. There are innumerable numbers of useful spirits, deity’s , and powers out there in this world so use them. My suggestions are as follows;

  1. Contact or summon the Archangel Michael, explain the situation to him and request his help, request him to bind your daughter and mother in your favor so that they just not longer disturb you; and bind the environment and your situation in your favor, positively. Also, request his protection for you.

  2. Summon “BARASHAKUSHU”, from Simon Necronomicon. The Word used at his Calling is BAALDURU. you would get his Sigil in the net, just Google it. Request his help, request him to arrange some good and helpful, useful, kind, supportive and protective “New friend” for you.

  3. Summon “Purah” (pronunciation, “Poor - Ah”) from Mystic Grimoire of Frater Malak and request him to arrange accommodation for you. So that you can live outside of your mother home peacefully and safely, until your own House is ready (he can also arrange a ready made housing arrangement for you) . If you have the Mystic “Grimoire”, you would find the details in page no 175.

  4. Additionally, you can also approach “DELUKIEL” from Mystic Grimoire page no 147, to solve any money related problem.

following these steps i think you should have some immediate relief.

1 Like

Hi Raven, firstly your in my prayers. Secondly check out green lipped mussel supplements, they were originally brought out for arthritic issues but studies over the past few years have shown great results for ADHD & the like. I personally know people who have gone off ritalin & concerta in favour of green lipped mussel. Flower essences are also absolutely amazing. I myself had been on anti depressants for years but now find a cleaner balance with bach products. Best of luck to you xox

That,s very sad and I am really sorry for you. I know what it means , I am in a similar type of situation , even if it is not 1% as bad as yours.
Try some magnesium supplements at least 1 gr/day for 6 month this really helped me. Beside what other people told you I think you really need MONEY now, a big sum of money would help you to get f…out of there or to get ready your house. You are more advanced in magic and you know what demon is the best to invoke for money.

1 Like

[quote=“Lady Eva, post:4, topic:6904”]Be careful with fish oil supplements because the ones that have gone rancid are worse than none at all - oxidised oils create a chain of inflammation that has negative effects.

I’m not sure what the best brands are in the USA, and need to keep a UK IP address right now because we’re watching local TV online, so I think that’s a job for Mr Google. :)[/quote]

Yea, you are right, they need an antioxidant stabilzer with the fish oil.

Thanks for the antioxident tip, I know a lot about herbs but supplements…not so much. Yeah I am going to do some money spells. I did one a fee months ago to increase the volume of my online customers but I wanted to start slow because I work alone, to see how many orders I could handle by myself and so far it’s working great, so I think I will do some more money magick and double my orders again. I really want to get that extra money on my own, I hate being in debt to anyone.

The surgery I had the other day was female related so my estrogen has skyrocketed as a result of that and I am all over the place. I’ve never been real feminine with my emotions, I suppress them like a dude so this is hard to handle, all this female emotion crap suddenly swarming me. My body is just confused because of the surgery, I probably threw myself into early menopause LOL but it’s worth it, I was trying to make myself sterile and get rid of all that female period crap, who needs that junk? But I’ve never even had a case of PMS or cramps, not ever, and I’m seriously not lying about that, so this estrogen surge is driving me fucking crazy and making this harder on me. Good god, no wonder men think other women are so annoying!

Men have always enjoyed hanging around me because I don’t do the female emotional PMS crap but right now, I feel over emotional, bitchy and foggy headed. I need a blunt :slight_smile:

So far like 3 people have suggested Michael so I will definitely look into him. Just trying to prioritize first.

Flaxseeds, Avocado, and brocolli and that whole family of vegetables help balance out hormones also.

Sorry to hear about this- sounds terrible. I can totally, totally empathize with this sort of situation. I won’t bore you with all the details, but basically, rent in London is ludicrously expensive- and I mean really, in-fucking-sanely expensive. This is why many people live in shared accommodation, as renting your own flat just costs way too much money. Our rent however, is very cheap for London, because the place is in such a bad state (our landlord at least is fair in that he charges us for what we get- which is shit lol), and our flatmate is an absolute nightmare! He is a heroin addict and an absolutely parasitic individual. He causes so many problems for us- begging for money, our flat has been raided by the police many times etc.

People ask why we choose to stay in such conditions and the answer is simply because we save sooo much money, and I enjoy actually having a life, going out, travelling etc, so it’s kinda crucial for me to have spending money available. Also, all the extra money I saved allowed me to quit my mind-numbing office job and I have not had to work for a around 5 months now, which has obviously been awesome. Anyway, we have recently been made aware that circumstances might soon become even worse at our flat, and now we are having to think very seriously about the future, as we obv can’t live like this forever. Quite frankly though, the thought of having to go back to a soul-destroying full-time office job actaully makes me physically sick, and so does the thought of paying so much goddam rent that I’ll have hardly any left for myself (because if we move out of this place, I absolutely refuse to live in a shared house ever again). Sorry, I know I said I won’t bore you with the details but I guess thats exactly what i’ve done lol! Anyway I’m sharing this with you as I want you to know that you are not alone in your domestic misery! I don’t have a long term solution yet- but below are a few suggestions (things I am currently doing myself)…

I think the first step is that you need to take control of the situation, mentally. You need to get to a point where you are no longer feeling overwhelmed and hopeless, but that there IS a way out, even if you don’t know exactly what it is yet. Make a decision that you will NOT allow this shitty situation to continue, and know that you WILL find a solution- whether through magickal or munane means. Is this not, after all, one of the biggest goals of the left-hand-path? To have control over our own destiny and everything which we experience? Judging from all your posts on this forum, Raven, I deffo believe that you have the power to change this situation. I know many normal people would say that compromise is part of life, that you can’t have everything and that that sacrifices always have to be made blah, blah, whatver. I say FUCK IT! Why can’t we have everything we want? There are people in this world who do- people who work very few hours, doing a job they love, living in a comfortable house with privacy and personal space. So why can’t we have it too?

I also suggest that you need some sort of temporary break from this situation. is there any way that you can stay with a friend for a few days, or even book yourself into a hotel for a night or two? I think having some peace and quiet and being on your own would really help to calm you down. Being away from your family would at least give you some time to start planning and thinking about possible solutions. I have actually done exactly that- Ive booked a hotel for myself and my bf in a small seaside village, just for one night, but I know that having a little break from all the drama at our flat will do me a world of good. Like, literally, even if it’s just a cheap hotel down the road from you- I think spending a night or two on your own would be very beneficial.

Anyway, sorry that I don’t have more practical advice atm, if I think of anything else I will let you know.

I do like veggies and a few people have suggested I try a vegetarian diet for a while. Actually the only meat I really like is pork, everything else tastes sickeningly nasty to me! I couldn’t cut out dairy though, I love my iced coffee and cheese too much but I have gone on all organic diets before with no meat and it wasn’t too bad but I am not cutting out gluten, gluten free foods taste like someone shit wheat pasta down your throat. LOL

am thinking, how could a knowledge-able one have such a mess in life.
i thought, maybe you just have lost your balance and probably this took effect to your environment OR you just forgot that you are in control of your environment and you forgot to look after it.

hooooh! hard times.
or is it just your inside that craves saying, ’ i want to be alone and dedicate my life to do this thing I really want.’? (i also got this one)

Arann, because this is something that unfolded slowly. Even a magician is subject to mundane problems that we have to deal with. Doesn’t mean we can’t use magick to fix problems when they arise or prevent them from happening if we know about the events before they occur but as far as I’m aware there is no spell that let’s you have a perfect life in the mundane world so that no problems will ever arise.

Sure, you can have peace in your own world but when other people are involved you can’t always predict what they’re going to do, and I don’t know anyone that constantly does readings on everyone they know to find out if that person will do something wrong to them in the near future so they can prevent it, that would be paranoid. So most of us take life one day at a time. Even E.A. as powerful as he may seem, he has problems arise and he handles thems as needed, so no one is immune to problems like this. You’d be surprised how many magicians I speak to that have problems with family or roommates that are really bad.

So your will may desire a problem free life, but you can’t always stop someone else whose will is against yours from interfering until the problems have already arised. I asked for advice because my emotions have been running wild lately and I didn’t wanna do anything to accidentally hurt my family. When family is involved emotions can become very strong and get the better of you, so it helps to ask others who have no emotional attachment to the people you are seeking peace with.

please do pardon my words above. my fault that I did not explain. That’s not what I meant for you to think. I wanted to encourage you. Go take back your hold on your environment. I know you can 'cause you’re wise enough.

AND, magick is not just all about spells, right?

I’ve read through your “book” above and it says you’re being to crowded. heavy thought’s cramp your head. This suggests a need for you to calm your being before taking actions. i know you did much thinking about that problems so it would be nice if you find peaceful mind rest first.
(many people are to busy, they even forget to watch a calmly setting sun and that made their life dull because they always rush)

Will it be a help if you find movies that shows a magician as a good character and letting it be watched by your child.

As for your problem about your mother, it isn’t right for some kind to argue with what they ought they know. Such kind will always look at what they believed they have seen and it is hard for them change their perspective on their own.
Could you do me a favor?
Can you show affection to your mother? the real thing from inside.
Just once again. Be her child and thank her for being a caring mother. Show your appreciation for her care to your child.“THE REAL THING FROM INSIDE”. I’m not being stupid here. :slight_smile: Just once again. just try. do it for me if you can’t do it for yourself.

Why won’t your doctor prescribe the meds that work for you?

Have you considered living in a van or a trailer/rv? They can be found pretty cheap in most places (better yet, manifest one with a spell!), it would allow you to get away from toxic family situations, and you mentioned that you have an online business? Free wifi at most state parks, and at some restaurant parking lots. Do a google search for “vandwelling” and you will find a ton of resources.

From what you’ve described, getting out in nature could be powerfully healing for you. I know from experience how impossible it is to get better, let alone heal, when you’re around toxic family. When you’ve got 3 generations together, it can be especially hard. The jealousy you’re displaying toward your own child is honestly disturbing, she’s a child and can only know what she’s learned from the adults around her. No matter what you think your mother did to her, being competitive with her is going to screw her up in so many ways. They need a break from you as much as you need a break from them. I know what I’m talking about in this regard too, I’m in my mid 40’s and was raised by a woman with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder, and I’m only very recently beginning to understand how damaged I was by her behavior toward me.

Obviously, I’m not diagnosing you with either NPD or BPD, but the way you’ve described things is pinging my radar, so to speak.

Good luck with whatever you do.

1 Like

She’s Indian, she doesn’t understand English very well and she books so many appts. that by the time I see her again she has forgotten why I’m there and I literally have to start from square one every time I see her. At least my therapist reads my file before she sees me so she can pick up where we left off but my doc won’t do that. The med that works is in the restricted category and I’ve submitted multiple drug tests for her and all have come back negative for drugs and she says, well I will prescribe you some Adderall or Concerta the next time I see you.

Then the next time she has forgotten all about it and I remind her to check the drug test results and she does, but then she says well it’s been 9 weeks since you got tested and I saw you last so go do another urinalysis for me and I will prescribe next time okay. She repeats this process every time and it’s getting on my nerves. She can check my records from previous docs that prescribed me Adderall, I have never failed a drug test. I am so tired of doctors acting like every adult is going to abuse or sell their pills. I even agreed to get pill counted but she just keeps forgetting.

And since she’s Hindu, she’s so peaceful that when I get upset and try to say hey, why do you keep forgetting the info in my file? I need help here before I lose it on someone and you just keep leading me in circles, and instead of understanding and trying to help me she just says, awww there is no need to be so negative you are a beautiful young girl.

Of course there is going to be some jealousy when you see your parents doing things for your child that they refused to do for you, especially when my dad has less money now than he did when I was a kid so money wasn’t an issue, they just never let me play sports or join clubs, or get neat electronics and they got my daughter like $2,000 worth of gadgets the other day. But usually only mundanes say this is a jealousy issue because they refuse to look at the bigger picture and try to find a way to blame this all on me when I’m the one who is being hurt.

I do have a personality disorder with narcicisstic traits but I don’t have NPD or BPD. I had my most recent diagnosis like 2 months ago after all this family drama started so the doc who diagnosed would’ve said something if I had those disorders, and this was not the same doc that I mentioned above, this was an American guy. I am aware that I have mental issues, I mentioned that earlier but I did not make this post to have people point out my flaws and disorders, I was asking for advice, magickal ways to cope with this until I can get a better doctor and so my disorders don’t interfere with my magick.

I think there must be a legal authority where you could put a formal complaint regarding this doc. for refusing to give you medication.Also how is it possible in US for a doc. to practice without knowing proper English? I am astonished !
Just recently a lady that I know has been diagnosed with bladder cancer . The doc. asked her if she had abortions ;she said yes and guess what ? the idiot told her she must go to confess to a priest!

RavenAscent ! i am also an Indian & Hindu ! and i have no difficulty understanding you. I can understand your problem & situation, easily and thoroughly. So, your Indian Doctor not understanding your problem is not real issue; she just do not want to “thoroughly understand” you. Being myself an Indian, i know the Indian Doctors very well, they are very cunning; ask any Medical Representative about them and you would know the true story. My advise is, you should try to look for a new doctor, choose a good one.

If you have so much health issue, then you should definitely summon and consult with the Divine Physician "Archangel Raphael". Even E.A. Koetting summoned him to save his daughter in the past; and also some senior forum members summoned him with lasting benefit. You should particularly consult with him regarding to;

a) Dietary advise
b) Physiotherapy & proper exercise
c) You can also consult with him about some herbal formula and concoction regarding to the health issues of you, specially tailor made for you.

if you are in Luck he can accept you as his patient, or he can provide you a good Doctor; or may be both.

And at last, did you tried to follow Lady Eva & my suggestions ? I hope you implement them at your earliest.