I just got cheated!

Yestereve,I was sick and desperate,about this awful cough,which I am loathing and it is still going on,and I tried contacting Raphael.I felt too lazy to open his sigil,and I called out to him by name.

I could feel a foreign force around me,gathering and I asked him to confirm his identity which he did.I thanked the archangel for curing me of my fever,and my headache,but that I needed this cough out of my way.

My cough has been troubling me,for several days now,and the spirit said he’d take care of it,but that he needed my own participation,and he wanted me to indulge in self-harm.

This put me off,because this was AN ANGEL I was speaking to,I thought.As I continued thinking,though,many medical procedures involve making smaller pains to heal greater ones.

I also have a history with self-harm.I’ve made dozens of cuts,scratches and scorch marks in my life,solely for the attention.I was never some weird depressed emo who thought pain was beautiful or that I needed to suffer.

No,I did it because I was an attention sponge(still am) and needed a way to get other people to flock around me,and if my achievements didn’t cut it…my injuries would.

I hate pain,I hate feeling pain.I don’t mind blood,and the stuff,I just don’t like the feeling of pain that comes or whatever,so any time I have indulged in self-harm,my focus was,as you’ve noticed on having it be noticeable,and not on having it be painful.

But the fact that the archangel Raphael wanted me to do that,made no sense to me.He explained,that in order to let the fullness of the negativity out,I had to let it out.

At this point of my life,I am undergoing a terrible dilemma,and my friends were ignoring my plights to help me on it,because they’re drowning in seas of homework,you can’t blame them.

So self-harm would’ve probably come into the equation at some point,I just like to delay it for as much as is humanely possible to preserve my mental health and treating myself well.

I had done this last night,as I heated a dagger,and pressed the heated steel against my skin,leaving very visible scorch marks and making a few scratches.

I didn’t wake up cough-free.It actually got worse.Now I can’t even speak a full sentence without coughing.And it isn’t until this moment now that I realize the spirit I’ve been communicating with is NOT Raphael.

I gave it,an offering yesternight,and it is merely something,looking like me for attention,and seeing a messed-up teenagers who may end up harming himself,so it thought that it might as well be in its name.And a teen,who had doors open wide for it,because of constant ritualwork.

Not to mention,grabbing the opportunity to feed,on an offering,and I’m pretty sure it’s been vampirizing me all day.I am going to banish it as soon as I finish typing up this post.

I have sought professional help and will look for the real archangel Raphael as soon as I banish this impostor.

So first of all,my parents know very well about my attention-seeking compulsions,and my history of self-harm.Any and every lecture on it,I have heard so I will not listen to anyone here saying it.Not to mention,many people here use blood magic which effectively uses the same thing.

Second of all,this is part of the story,I haven’t told the full story.

That said,any thoughts?Comments?Support?

This is one of my first impostor spirits,btw.

[quote=“Arcane, post:1, topic:6258”]I also have a history with self-harm.I’ve made dozens of cuts,scratches and scorch marks in my life,solely for the attention.I was never some weird depressed emo who thought pain was beautiful or that I needed to suffer.

No,I did it because I was an attention sponge(still am) and needed a way to get other people to flock around me,and if my achievements didn’t cut it…my injuries would.[/quote]

Well, you have an impressive amount of insight into your own quirks and honesty about them, so that’s to my mind more important than being some “perfect” person or whatever - fwiw. :slight_smile:

Back to the non-Raphael, I suggest getting a seal of the archangel Michael and calling him to bind and banish whatever was doing this, and then ask him to be present as you summon the real Raphael.

It sounds simple but those two seem to work in harmony and Michael’s used to helping people out.

Ask Raphael to show you his seal when he arrives, as well, that’s a good way to ID them - the real spirit will be able to create a visual impression of the seal (clairvoyantly, or maybe like a retinal after-image) whereas fakes can somehow not manage that.

[quote=“Lady Eva, post:2, topic:6258”][quote=“Arcane, post:1, topic:6258”]I also have a history with self-harm.I’ve made dozens of cuts,scratches and scorch marks in my life,solely for the attention.I was never some weird depressed emo who thought pain was beautiful or that I needed to suffer.

No,I did it because I was an attention sponge(still am) and needed a way to get other people to flock around me,and if my achievements didn’t cut it…my injuries would.[/quote]

Well, you have an impressive amount of insight into your own quirks and honesty about them, so that’s to my mind more important than being some “perfect” person or whatever - fwiw. :slight_smile:

Back to the non-Raphael, I suggest getting a seal of the archangel Michael and calling him to bind and banish whatever was doing this, and then ask him to be present as you summon the real Raphael.

It sounds simple but those two seem to work in harmony and Michael’s used to helping people out.

Ask Raphael to show you his seal when he arrives, as well, that’s a good way to ID them - the real spirit will be able to create a visual impression of the seal (clairvoyantly, or maybe like a retinal after-image) whereas fakes can somehow not manage that.[/quote]

First of all,let me say thank you.That kind of compliment,on being self-critical,is something that means a lot to me.I posted some stuff about it here:

http://becomealivinggod.com/forum/white-magick-the-right-hand-path/church-power/

Somewhere.

A close friend of mine who is a therapist told me that I am certainly not histrionic,but that I display three or four of the symptoms traditionally associated with HPD,which makes them more ‘‘quirks’’ than symptoms.

So,again,thank you.

Now,as for the other tips,that thing about showing me his sigil,is actually one of THE FIRST things I EVER learned about evocation,but I didn’t find it useful,I even found it redundant and stopped doing it.

So I’m gonna do that.I also have good ties with Michael.I’ve called on him more often than on Raphael in fact,so this should be simpler.

You wouldn’t think someone so skilled in evocation would get cheated like this (not meant as an insult to you). I mean that it just goes to show us all the links that some bottom feeding spirits will go to, to victimize us and get that energy feeding thrill. Energy must really be like a drug to spirits, some can handle it and others become dependent and addicted.

Makes sense, it realized you stopped asking for proof of identity and used that to its advantage, posing as Raphael. Good thing you figured it out sooner than later, you could have ended up deathly sick if this thing kept feeding off you and remaining undetected. But being so open to spiritual communication such as you are does indeed make you suseptible to unwanted visitors. Some older humans take advantage of teens and young adults thinking they’re too young and uneducated to figure out the truth, so it’s not surprising certain spirits would do the same.

Raphael and Michael are definetely very awesome. You should feel a very gentle, loving, healing presence when Raphael is around you, (I believe it has something to do with the fact that the best healing channels love) and yeah I would suggest using a crystal such as selenite to amplify, or your own energy if you can direct it well enough to banish that fool. Otherwise you could always just request Michael binds the little retch and Raphael strikes it down or something of the sort, I’ve heard they’re both pretty skilled at serving justice. :slight_smile:

Good luck! I love Raphael and Michael they almost always seem to be near one another because they always respond back to back if I call on them both.

I’m still developing my astral senses, but honestly believe I have heard Michael’s voice slip thru the veil once, and I have heard Raphael’s voice twice.

[quote=“RavensAscent, post:4, topic:6258”]You wouldn’t think someone so skilled in evocation would get cheated like this (not meant as an insult to you). I mean that it just goes to show us all the links that some bottom feeding spirits will go to, to victimize us and get that energy feeding thrill. Energy must really be like a drug to spirits, some can handle it and others become dependent and addicted.

Makes sense, it realized you stopped asking for proof of identity and used that to its advantage, posing as Raphael. Good thing you figured it out sooner than later, you could have ended up deathly sick if this thing kept feeding off you and remaining undetected. But being so open to spiritual communication such as you are does indeed make you suseptible to unwanted visitors. Some older humans take advantage of teens and young adults thinking they’re too young and uneducated to figure out the truth, so it’s not surprising certain spirits would do the same.[/quote]

Hence why I called the astral police immediately. hank gods I didn’t shed any blood for it and it just got.a thrill from a scorch mark and a bowl of water with salt(a marriage of Earth and Water,something that makes no sense for Raphael who presides over air).

And where did you think you may have offended me? I mean, you called me skilled at evocation!

Also notice I didn’t use Raphael’s sigil,I only vibrated Ra-PHA-El. Whatever heard that beat Raphael to it and did the dirty work.

Well we showed it! This spirit was not good at covering its tracks. If it had waited for me to summon a demon and ask him to do something more grandiose it could’ve even gotten blood. Why am I giving these entities ideas? Banish,banish,banish!