I have good news but I’m scared

So I’ve found out the community college in nc will be open for classes. My family’s letting me sign up for one. The problem is the move will officially take place after a week from when classes begin.

I’m glad cause this means I’ll get to be back in school. This means I’ll finally get some structure and will get to be out of the house. I’ll even get to meet some people.

The problem is I’m scared. With time winding down from to the move I’m feeling very emotional.

A few weeks before the pandemic, I had…an episode. I’ve been going to this goth night club for several years. I’ve met plenty of people, but apparently made little to no impact on them. The last time I was there, a bouncer said that I make people (ladies) feel uncomfortable. I was hurt because after so long I hoped I was making progress. He didn’t say I Had to go, but I went anyway. I didn’t want to go home, so I decided to go to a strip club. It only made me feel worse. That incident is running through my head.

I decided not to go back to that club because I didn’t want t to make anyone else feel uncomfortable. Though, I got my wish because the pandemic started soon after.

In addition to the club, I’ve tried making friends at my local community college during those years and it was just the same thing.

During the pandemic, I’ve developed a certain idea about myself. My self image has only gotten worse. I don’t trust myself around people, especially girls. I try to avoid females on the street when I can. I don’t think I know how to approach anyone, especially females, without making them feel uncomfortable.

I’m fact, the pandemic has left me lacking in practice, but I’ve also began watching those stupid mgtow videos also. And all they do is increase my gynophobia.

Ive gone a whole year wishing I can be back in school, and now that I have that option, the idea frightens me.


Pick up a copy of Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz and get to work on your self image. Visualise yourself as you wish to be.

Begin a regimen of afformations, asking yourself daily questions like, “Why am I always comfortable in social situations?” “Why am I always at ease around women?” “Why are women comfortable around me?”

Do all of this daily, and augment it with energy work and invocation.


How do you talk to women?

I think this is a very mundane problem with a very mundane solution.

Most people who suffers this kind of difficulty have one thing in common, as far as I know. They believe they’re the less interesting people in the world.

I don’t know you, OP, but I think that may be a thought that’s in your head. So you either see that you are interesting… or you aren’t, in which case you make yourself more interesting.

Learn skills. Any sort of skills. Read. Watch movies. Lift. Bring something to the table. All that mgtow dialect is for people who do the bare minimum effort in improving themselves and thinks the world owes them a hot girl because the are “good listeners” (when they’re just in silence 5 minutes, waiting their turn to talk). Fuck those guys, you’re better than that.


Actually, I believe I’m very interesting. I’m at least smart and creative. The problem is is that I think don’t have charisma. And intelligence/creativity without charisma often seems to = creepy. So when/if I talk to a girl, I think I’m creeping her out.

As for the mgtow thing, there’s a lot to discuss there. Yes, I think a lot in it is truthful, but I think it’s just a reverse of third wave feminism. It stands for men going their own way, but it’s more about trying to reclaim And reinstate traditional masculine values and beliefs. It basically says “women will treat you this way unless you act that way.”

Yeah, I know what it is. But you’re right, let’s not discus it here.

Then you have already identified the problem. Work on your charm.

I think it starts with the approach. It’s not like I approach people off the street. But when I’m at places where typically you would be meeting people, apparently you don’t just go up to who ever you’d like and try to start a conversation. People typically go to social events in groups and stick to those groups through out the night.

I’ve realized that people don’t actually like meeting someone they don’t know. The unknown is scary. So, if you want to meet people in a new environment, You need to know someone who can vouch for you. Alternatively, you can do something that gets people’s attention. Though, it’s difficult to do that because any way to do that either requires some form of Already made connection, Or doing something that risks making you look bad.

Essentially, approaching the wrong person at the wrong time at the wrong place can make anything you say or do come off the wrong way. So I’m left with two choices. Approach anyway, or don’t approach at all. Since that night, I’ve decided to go with the later.

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I don’t know, I’ve met people at bars/clubs outside of the social group I came with. Plus it is always possible to meet others through mutuals.

I think younger people have a harder time initially meeting IRL with the internet and being able to talk to people all over the world.

Do you have a condition that prevents you from understanding others emotions and reactions to when you talk to them?

Also MGTOW is fine if you are a middle age divorcee, who went through nasty break up and probably shouldn’t date, vs someone who hasn’t even tried.

High functioning autism. I’ve made various posts about it.

And yes it’s more difficult for younger people. The social climate of today’s western world is very decisive and strenuous. For me it feels like a mine field. Any social mistake can make you labeled in the worse kind of way. The media has caused a lot of young men to worry about being seen as creepy.

Did you see the Family guy episode about one bad tweet made people turn against Brian and he had to move out? Being autistic means I feel 10x Vulnerable to the consequences of this social mind field culture.

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Ipos - To develop the skills of humor and wit as an aid to personal charisma.

Ronove - To improve your personal levels of charisma.

Haagenti - To bring about a desired change in your personality.


Ok I just wanted to make sure you sound like a lot of my autistic friends who have problems finding someone to date, most of them are friends with other autistic people so that isn’t a problem.

But they will overly flirt even when the person shows obvious body movement they aren’t interested and females have a hard time outright saying something until it becomes a big problem because they don’t want to be viewed as mean.

Have you tried to study how people interact when they flirting, it might help, sometimes a person needs to study and fake it till they make it. Also try to look as attractive as you can when you go out, it helps.

(I’m horribly shy and only do interaction well when I play role until I know someone well enough)