I have doubts and I’m lost

I’ve been meditating daily the past 11 days and it feels like I’ve made no progress up until last night, day 12.

When I meditate I’m always standing near a form of myself covered in shadow but last night the form was free of shadow and I could see that it looked like a demon version of myself.

When we turned to looked at each other, she spoke to me in my mind in a dual voice that was both my own voice and a deeper tone as if two people where speaking at once.

She told me that if I want to truly open my eye then I need to “let go” and “relax” so I can see things for what they are and that I will finally have my wish of properly hearing/seeing.

One part of me says it’s real progress and if I continue it’ll only get better from here but another part of me has doubts and thinks that I’ve made this all up.

I’m just lost and don’t know what to do. All I know is that if I stop now on the possible cusp of something happening then I’ll regret it.

It seems like you’ve already made up your mind:

All I know is that if I stop now on the possible cusp of something happening then I’ll regret it.

Meditations like that takes time. Anything worthwhile takes time. You are not going to get instant results, especially after meditating in such a sort time. The fact that you are making such strides in the span of days (not months) is really great.

12 days of practicing something is great, but is 12 days of practicing a musical instrument going to make you amazing at it? Is 12 days of practicing a sport enough time to really say that you are an athlete? A lot of people come into magick expecting instant results with little work. Light a candle, will it and it will be. Presto chango NEW LIFE.

You are already seeing results after 12 days, why would you stop now? That ‘let go’ and ‘relax’ advice is very sound, and is some of the same advice that I was given. I am a very high strung person xD

Go forth and continue your great work. Eventually you will have enough evidence of your own power that even that little doubting voice in your head will shut it.


I remember when my third eye first opened. Kinda freaked me out a little at first, then I was good to go. Of course, I wasn’t doubting anything like you are having doubts, so I can’t help you there. If you decide to go ahead, the more you use it, the stronger you will become. It has changed my life, and I love it. Good luck to you.

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You can’t find yourself until you lose yourself


Thanks, what you posted is the stuff I signed up here for. Any other site would say I’m right to doubt and leave it at that.

I think the 12 days is because for the past seven years, I’ve been trying to open my mind more but only got as far as telepathy and sensing the presence of something sometimes. If I knew meditation was the key then I would’ve done this all before lol stubborness is quite something.

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Changed your life for the better?

Yes, absolutely has changed for the better. It has not only opened various doorways and strengthened my abilities in all ways, but allowed better insight ( pun intended)in all situations.

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It sounds great. I’ll try to cast aside my worries and keep working on it.

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Hear! Hear! So true.

As to doubting:
I was a young dickhead once who couldn’t understand why - when I read the conjuration out of books - nothing ever happened. But I couldn’t stop. I once heard two Magicians talking in a bookshop about their exploits and I thought that they were probably talking shit (they weren’t). When I was a member of (allegedly and probably) the oldest functioning rhp Magickal Order in the southern hemisphere I was referred to as ‘Doubting Thomas’. My Magickal teacher was always attacking me for doubting and spreading my doubts.

There’s really nothing to do about doubting but to continue with your Magick until you don’t/can’t doubt. Doing Sigil work with two other Magicians back in the early 1990s (or thereabouts) kicked to death my doubts. Anyway, it’s better to be a doubter than a gullible sucker.


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Thanks and I can relate sadly enough.
I was a young idiot too but I was on a bullshit site called “spellsofmagic” where I would try some of their spells and would get even greater doubts when nothing happened.

One day I got frustrated enough that I decided to meddle in the occult and summon my first demon because my thought process “What’s the harm? It’s not real anyway.”

Upside: At the time my third eye was open just enough that I could see a bit and when the demon appeared, my doubts left.
Downside: Since I was young and was far from prepared for that, I also scared myself enough that I blocked my third eye without knowing it.

It’s kind of funny how now that I’m trying to fix it, my doubts have come back of all things.

Opening The Third Eye


After rubbing in a little heating gel, athletes’ cream, etc. into the area of your third eye, sit comfortably. Take a few deep breaths. Vibrate at least five times - but not more than nine - the word TOH (pronounced TOE). Before beginning to vibrate TOH the tongue should be touching your front teeth as it would be if you were just about to say ‘The’.

Vibration of words can only be learnt by experience and this exercise will help because you will know by the way you feel if you are vibrating correctly. For this reason it is advisable that you vary your vibratory method until you know you are performing it correctly – and you will!

Feel the air of your breath enter your body and imagine that it travels to your feet. Your whole being is now filled with the breath of life. As you vibrate the sound of TOH, know that it thunders from your feet, through your body and outward into the far corners of the multiverse. TOH is used only because it vibrates at the correct rate and frequency to open the Third Eye. There is no meaning to the sound.

You will know you are performing this exercise correctly when you feel the vibration inside your head, particularly where your Third Eye is located. After the conclusion of the exercise you may experience some discomfort in your cranium. This cannot be helped. The entire exercise should take a relatively short time to be successfully completed, but don’t hesitate to let me know.



Thank you for that but I tend to get distracted easy so would guided meditation work just as well?

I’ve made this https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLS54i8aMU-3XIvKI2NnRkz2gq1A46OTAA playlist on youtube and a few of them have seemed to be working well.

I’ve been doing magick for about 4 months but have been meditating daily for many years, I feel that is the reason my experience and understanding of magick has been so powerful, profound and so clear at the same time. I want to share with you the process of meditation that has given me the most breakthroughs spiritually. Basically I sit down, close my eyes and reach the empty space inside of me, stay there in stillness and complete silence letting my pure awareness be aware of itself. I do this for 20 to 40 minutes every day. This type of meditation I feel connects me with the source of all existence and opens up my mind to all possibilities, including connecting with powerful spiritual entities.

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Thank you for sharing with me. I do quite the same with sitting in a place where I’m comfortable but I try to picture myself somewhere that relaxes me then allow myself open up to whatever possibilites may come.

Hopefully it’ll have the same results that seem to occur with almost of you here.

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Be very patient and persistent. I´m sure you will see result sooner than later my friend.

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If you’re meditating and focusing too hard on seeing something then you’re too connected to your body still. Let everything pass through . Remember everything you see. It was helpful for me to have someone that’s a seer and confirmed exactly what I saw and that it was in fact real. You have to focus sometimes by unfocusing if that makes sense .

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I’ll have to remember that, thank you. I agree, it would be easy with someome since it’s hard to remember to not always be in control and to just let it happen.

I might try to ask someone for help if I can find someone. Thank you for the idea.