I hate living

Look I’m the tough love type so i’ll tell you without sugar coating.

You have to rise on your feet, head up, look at the mirror and say to yourself

" people are disabled, people are starving and are sick and dying, I’m alive I’m breathing I have a roof over my head there are many people out there who live a life worse than mine, even if I hate my life to someone else it would be considered a blessing ".

Then take your middle finger to the air and say

" Fuck anything that stands in my way ".

Then take a shower and get dressed and do something, it doesn’t matter what you do, have fun if you can’t have fun, force it if that doesn’t work do something productive.

Trust me I know about depression let me tell you, I was abused physically by my father he would beat me as a child punch me across rooms and kick my head into the ground, he’d even starve me.

My mother who I loved dearly I was forced to leave her, my best friend who was like a brother died the same day my grandfather who was like a REAL father to me died.

I saw my moms boyfriend who used to take care of me decapitated in a car accident, I was homeless for two years.

I have suffered with bipolar, servere depression and have a manic stress disorder had a drug addiction.

I have many MANY PROBLEMS, I lost all friends and was alone, i then stood up and stopped feeling sorry for myself and did what I had to do.

You have to keep fighting because compared to other people’s lives who are dying or homeless or have been abused, raped etc.

They would do anything to just live a normal depressing life, I’m not saying anything bad about you, I’m saying rise in strength.

Because the more pain we are put through it we come out the other end we’ll become almost invincible.

YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOU’RE MIND TOO, don’t tell me it’s impossible, because you can do anything and I fucking mean that brother.

If you need to talk message me, we’re all brothers and sisters here, I know you can do it and all that says you can’t prove it wrong.

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Hear we go, i tell you one thing i love living, it is awesome living to know the LHP, ever since i been reverse adoption, adopted by my cute honey Ellen my dark Fae my assent has sky rocketed, now i can boldly go where no human sorcerer has gone before, as for all that suicide garbage is really boring, doesn’t interest me one iota, so i guess seek help, before its to late, all i have to say about that, im off to become a Demon Black God, thanking to my Dark Fae Ellen my cutie pie.

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I know that feeling. I suffer from depression, anxiety and uncontrolled anger impulses. Last year I was so down, that 4 times almost I cut my wrists. But something inside me told me to not do it, maybe fear, maybe I have so much to do in life, maybe I was to weak to kill myself, I don’t know what.

Take a pen a paper and write down some goals you wish to achieve, small ones or big ones, doesn’t matter. You have to make yourself a purpose to strive for. Life without purpose is a fucking jail.

Also I recommend to keep a personal journal where you write your thoughts, emotions or anything else that comes to your mind. You have to put the thoughts down, because if you let them stay in your head they only bounce bang in your head and become more bigger and worse.

YOU ARE MUCH STRONGER THAN YOU THINK.

Also when I’m down i like to do something that makes me happy :slight_smile: like watching cat videos, watching a comedy show or just messing around in FL studio ( music making program ). Just keep yourself and your mind busy.

Also you have to accept yourself for what you are. Nobody is perfect.

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I have been suicidal many times … Four years ago I jumped toward a semi coming up on the highway and didn’t succeed. I was frustrated and livid.
Earlier this fall I had a URI, and was going to jump off a bridge into a deep lake. Luckily my mind did a 180.
Going to the local witchdoctor for Zoloft can help.
I was thinking the other night about life and death. Saw a lot of death, stillborns to people as old as moses. Many overdoses, many suicides, the largest group were late stage cancer. It showed me or occurred to me, cliche as it is, it is absolutely true - life is short and the point is to live your life outside of oppression.

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Take a moment for you. Lay down. Breathe deep and LISTEN. There are forces all around you that will help you. Just listen for the first whispers and let them take the lead. You don’t have to do everything, or for that matter anything right now. Just listen for a bit. You’ll be amazed what you’ll hear.

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friend, if you want to send me a pm and tell me your situation, maybe I can help you as well as someone from this forum. I will be happy to help.

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You’re very mature in providing him with this. But sadly a lot of my deceased friends didn’t care about a hotline. What people want is someone who they genuinely believe cares.

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I can agree with that. Unfortunately, few people genuinely cares about someone they don’t know, or they do care enough about someone’s state of mind to give directions of where to go to get help. That’s the least most of us can do. It’s better than doing nothing, don’t you agree?

Sensitive people often cares about others, and sometimes to an extent that they put their own well being aside for the sake of helping others. And when they reach the bottom, they often have to deal with depression alone, because their, so called, “friends” doesn’t have time to pay back and support them the way they got support. It shouldn’t be that way, but it’s more common than we think.

It’s nothing wrong in having depressions from time to time. Most of us evolve and learn through that state of mind. We learn how to deal with losses and rise with strength and confidence to try again. As long as we don’t lose that tiny thing called “hope”, there’s always a way to bounce back to our feet once again.

The state of “hopelessness” is the biggest enemy here, and recent studies of depression proves that it motivates that final decision of life and death. And I’m sure @Lady_Eva also has done research of that and that’s why she always jumps in with hotline suggestion.

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The tricky part with this is that people who suffer depression (myself included) genuinely feel like nobody cares. It’s a snowball effect where everyone who ever let you down makes you feel like nobody ever cared and nobody ever will. And you BELIEVE it.

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I definitely knows that and can relate to that. I’ve also reached out for support when I’ve felt down and depressed to people I’ve supported, but most of them just gives up or are too involved in themselves that they don’t have patience to deal with others depressions. And when they can’t give me support, I just stop sharing my deepest thoughts to them. That doesn’t mean I stop being there for them, though. I just don’t share my own thoughts.

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I understand completely and do the exact same.

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I know what you mean mate…

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This really is a beautiful thing you’ve written. And should be read by even those who just feel bummed out, not necessarily depressed.

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Thanks brother

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Death as an option always seems an easy route to take ,but take a second and think ,who’s to say that the afterlife will be easy .We’ve all been there but we never gave up .Take the hard way out and face the problems head on .
In a forum full of occultists this is the best place to be in your situation ,solutions are here but the first step of mental encouragememnt and belief is yours ,genetics are yours ,Embrace it and love yourself other people’s approval is not and never a must .Your Parents ,friends love you but Satan and Lucifer love you more .
Find your way to Satan or Lucifer and feel Godly love and they will teach you and comfort you .To the infernal masters eyes we are all wonderfully made .
Take courage ,we here love you just as Satan and Lucifer loves us unconditionally .

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Easy E? Hmmmmm…

He was a rapper

yeah i know, but you seem similar to me like a doppelgänger. my friends made a joke about easy e and we changed his name to e easy e and it sounded funny and we still say the joke to this day. and you also want to get out of this universe like i do

we both think that why do people want hard lives

and we both also want a world with real physical supernatural beings like werewolves, and vampires.