So for a few weeks I’ve been dealing with this group in school. They work with some of the events. I have days where I have fun with them, and days where I feel like I can’t get their attention. They’re very nice to me, and truth be told the issue is more me than them.
Last night I did my first pathworking in Lucifer and the Hidden Demons. I called on Someot to help deal with anxiety.
Earlier today in school, I found the group doing some fashion show. I felt bad for not being in it. Plus, I have this inversion towards things like fashion or anything related to it. I see this girl from the group and ask her if she’s okay (someone in school she was closed to lost her job). And then this other girl encourages me to put on this tidy shirt and get involved with the show as a model. I have a headset linked to my phone, playing music. I was listening to Reggaeton (cause I like it every so often). I’m brought to the stage expecting myself to break down. But, something happened…
I…Just…Start…Dancing. In front of a huge audience. I didn’t expect myself, but something just takes over. My proverbial dark cloud goes away and I begin feeling the sun’s radiant light.
I usually feel invisible, like no one knows me, likes me, or cares about me. I know that not everyone’s my friend, but it’s still nice to have all attention on me as opposed to being invisible. Plus, there are certain benefits to it as well, more than I care to list.
I wanted to publicly thank someot for this experience.