I had to do a lot of reflection to figure this out. I have the existential kink of humiliation, but it conflicts with my pride. This causes me anxiety. Is there any idea I can resolve this conflict?
I have thought in the past, perhaps our sexuality helps us connect with things we fear or dislike in a safe and positive environment.
Maybe it feels good to let something past that wall to hurt you?
"If there is one emotion which is never useful, it is pride; for this reason, that it is bound up entirely with the Ego… No, there is no use for pride! " - Aleister Crowley
Crowley struggled with that subject, because his favorite gay sex role was being passive, a role than even today is considered a submissive role, while is overall way of being was being dominant, you know, the master.
Research BDSM. We do stuff like that all the time. Find a man or woman you like, it’s not a science, but since you’re giving away power over you (even if it is a game), then you have to be sure you can trust this person. And the way to do that is one step at the time.
Respect yourself first, otherwise a dom won’t have a reason to respect you and have you as their property. But be aware of predators.
Good luck, my man.
I think it definitely has something to do with psychology. The whole kink thing And bdsm thing.