I feel that I’ve hit rock-bottom and need to get up. I recently got broken up with, resulting in a downward spiral of me being dependent on unnamed substances. This relationship broke me down in many ways and caused me to develop anxiety issues. While seeing her I allowed my discipline to lapse, gain weight, slack on my magic, tank my grades. My sense of masculinity, which I’d previously never doubted, feels eroded.
I would consider myself to be an intermediate magician, and have produced results from evocations (this aforementioned relationship is the product of one such evocation).
Something in me feels the need to make a pact, with either Belial or Lucifuge. Yet I’m hesitating. Is there any advice you could give me vis the pact (or just in general).
edit: I guess if there was a way it summarizes, I want to develop discipline, ascend financially in the world, heal and grow physically and mentally. However, I’m not sure where to start,