I don't feel free, I feel chained


#21
  • the Gods’s. Oh auto-correct but a sip of thy sweet flavor and thou art a true and sometimes damn near indispensable labor saver, the rest of the time you’re a bag of smashed assholes. Please pardon the profanity but I thought it linguistically pertinent.

#22

I sometimes NEED to do deep breathing out in public. I also do tapping in the car.


#23

You’re not alone in that department. Mine is a matter of utility (groceries, buying xyz). Other than that they have to initiate it. I don’t usually bother remembering names. If someone sees me again it’s just a plain generic greeting.

One might wonder though, if people interact poorly with others then is interacting with spirits any different. It runs the gamut of psychology that the spirits you interact with are of your mind.

They could also be predatory like all main stay religions preach.

And they might actually be trying to help an individual to be more communal. I sort of lean to the last unless the stories of a spiritual “family” are true.

There are times I evaluate my self worth to pointlessness and zilch. It’s these lowest of times my frustration with s grand all-in-all-is-everything creator hits its peak. Why not seek utter annihilation by its hand? Prove it to be a zealot, a narcissistic megalomaniac overlord? See it’s real wrath. I do t want some stupid hell punishment. I want to see it’s worse infinite power strike and annihilation of self.

I believe it is impossible. Why?

I’m typing this very second.

Annihilation and eradication of me would be all eddies, memories, spatial, existential anything of me. The mere fact there’s even a trace proves it can’t destroy me or anything. And I’d dare approach its “throne” and backhand it just to show my distaste.

I’m a new soul, no incarnations. Young… maybe I’ll eventually learn but atm I can see no greater glory than battling or being beaten to nigh oblivion in its center court for ALL to witness. Will self break when dead? Will creations be mortified by its brutality or cheer it.

I love the odds of infinityxinfinity to the infinite power and more - to 1 in its favor. So what! I’ve grown tired of judgement by all and this control of free will. This shame shit cycle and karma reincarnation.

No! I’ll see if annihilation exists if it’s the last thing I do!

Hmmm… sigline worthy?


#24

Absolutely fine brother. We would make fine compatriots. :smiley: I’m conquering my social awkwardness and general anti social issues/crap by kicking them in the teeth with a steel toed combat boot. I talk to strangers, I give cigarettes/cigarillos, buy meals for, give mine to people less fortunate than i and I stand sometimes upward of fifty minutes speaking with them. As though they were actual people and we trade stories. Mainly I try to learn failing that or seeing a need I try to teach. Hell last night I was up talking with security till…well past when I should have been we will say but make something of everything you do. No wasted movement and once you have the initial stages of momentum. I understand the PC issue and more than that let me first and foremost apologize to the females here in advance please. By the way conversely not assuming that you scholarly lot of Ladies have not hear not cannot handle such language. :sweat_smile: Also not assuming anyone’s gender. Refer back to momentum-build that fucking shit and I mean really PUT YOUR BALLS IN IT SON! You’ll know you’re done when you have some modicum of “big dick” energy as the youth call it is truly the only color name on the Energy Spectrum that I believe applies here. A DAMN SIGHT from arrogant, reckless, pigheaded, and heedless of sense, reasons, wisdom, decency, chivalry, and a sense of honor. We all fuck up, sometimes we tell ourselves unforgivably…but it IS NOT, HAS NOT, AND WILL NOT EVER BE TRUE if we chose the paths of evolution, truth, and wisdom to better ourselves. You make a mistake dont be sorry BE BETTER. Also when you attain your lofty goals (and lofty they should be but take it in small manageable chunks like quitting smoking a week at a time) try not to be so happy about it that it blinds you to what is around you. High ground and 360° security at all times. So not trying to be preachy, tell you how to live your life, or stand on a soapbox because I hate all that bullshit. You came to this place for a reason, I feel because I’m not a fan of coincidences (unless you practice certain disciplines that is) Brother unleash the BEAST. You stand here among black magicians, LHPers Satanists, and the like. Be proud, walk tall, speak softly carry a big stick if you know what I mean. :wink: Got you six buddy.


#25

I do tend to ramble so my bad if it gets on anyone’s nerves.


#26

I hope all that came out right.


#27

I know how you feel. I once too, felt that way…

But you know, we have nothing to worry about. We may all look different to the non-magi, but we’re more powerful and spirits are always with us. They will never let us get hurt, nor lose the fight we give every day. Things may look bad sometimes, but it’s only because we can still fight. If all hope is lost, then our friends from the spirit world will just step in and make things right again.

Never worry, for we’re not alone in this! Besides, we’re all here to break our chains! So, don’t try to find a way to fight this…you already know the way, you just need to remember how to use it and that’s why we’re all here. To help each other remember! We’re all to strong to be stopped now, because we’re not alone in this.


#28

Preach!


#29

Anxiety usually stems from worrying about things that “ could” be - your body and brain are responding in a fight or flight mode. Now your spirit self rejects this and that’s where the unease comes from.

The shortest version is that people generally worry about things that they can’t control and often times things that have been projected onto us from outside sources. Much of it is worrying about how others will treat us, respond, judge us, what they will do to us etc. Living in your own truth will not bring anxiety, it will strip that parasite completely off.

I would reach out to Lucifer :black_heart:


#30

So let’s say I want to talk to lucifer, how would I talk to him? I know that I would have to meditate daily but I know myself, I either forget or get lazy. That’s one issue that I have that’s keeping me from making any progress.


#31

He doesn’t care for laziness but if there’s something truly hindering you then he will help you. But you have to truly want it and take him seriously otherwise he likely won’t take you seriously. I started out “ praying” to him - I wasn’t trying to connect the way I did but it was easy and I could do it as I fell asleep. Then I got the surprise of my life.

If you’re genuine I would leave him a nice offering and chant his enn for a few minutes , with his seal on the offering table. Let him know you want to connect and ask him to help you open your senses. He has a way about him and you won’t second guess it. He’s very generous. And don’t be alarmed if it’s feels sexual - I think it’s how he marks his own.


#32

Thank for the advice


#33

No problem if you run into issues I can help you if you need


#34

Freedom, as in true, full blown freedom is a state only few can get. Being free from insecurities and anxiety does not mean you’re free in the broader sense.
That being said, you would want to head to the belly of the insecurity, the heart of the anxiety, the triggers. etc.
And that being taken care of, no promises of truly being free from those insecurities, only way to combat them until it’s unnoticed even the miniature level.

List , conquer and tame.


#35

I beg to differ, freedom is not a state of mind, freedom is an animal instinct! When you are stuck in a corner, and there is nowhere to go, you either flight or fight! Most people just accept the corner! The true person stands strong, and fights their corner!


#36

Friend, get out of your head! Draw his sigil with as much care as you can, on the nicest paper that you can, focus, and stop allowing negative thoughts, idea, and feelings cut you off from you spirituality. You can do all this tonight. :wink:


#37

I’m not sure my advice will help but this is what I tend to do, and it is simple and tends to work for me.
I remember that everyone else has insecurities too and that most social fears are silly at the end of the day, that it is better to be loved for who you are than who you are not and that it is even worse to be hated for who you are not and things like that, find reasons why I love me, knowing that, you can know you have an edge over most people on the dance floor. I dunno if that helps but it has always helped me.


#38

That’s a great little quote.

Al.


#39

I recommend the Black & White Mirror exercise.

Al.


#40

Thank you.