I did too much to start off

I made a pact way to early with a demon that’s way too strong. we can communicate but I don’t know how to really pursue this

What did you offer in the pact?

I offeredon’t possession for a week and to let him like be able to stay in my mind for as long as the pact is kept

Well if your no longer happy with the pact, you should just break it. I’d advise summoning him and discussing this with him. Spirits are generally very understanding

I don’t want to break it off really but I need to know how to grow stronger with it and he’s like trying to break like a barrier I have that keeps my violent and well dangerous side locked up. I do that to be able to function in society halfway decent but he’s trying to let it out

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I can see where your coming from there …im very submissive and dont get into conflict unless i have too or its just one of the few things that pushes the right button. But since working with Azazel I have become more aggressive and speak my mind. He once told me I needed to learn how to be a bitch lol.
Maybe you should talk to him. He usually pulls backs some when I get too much at one time.

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I’m kinda naturally very violent and aggressive but I hold it back and he wants me to let it out

Well whats going in your life that make him feel that way. Is there something you should and have the right to be angry about. Not saying hurt anyone. But there are situations where you have a right to be mad or angry. That is something i struggle with. Learning its ok to be pissed sometimes. And you shouldnt keep it bottled up. Perhaps hes urging you to find a healthy release for your aggressive tendency. .like join a gym or get punching bag. Take up a sport or for me writing in a journal and saying how i truely feel things and people. Maybe take up martial arts or kick boxing. He probably dosent want you to hurt anyone or yourself but is pushing to find that outlet.

I understand but I also know how I am and anytime it’s came out someone ended up hurt and I was only stopped by someone snapping me out of it

I really think you should try anger management and talk with a health professional or try therapy. Plus try cleansing and balancing your chakras.
Confusious once said the greatest war was the one never fought.
( well some great person said it …not sure if it was him haha!! But it sounded good!!)

I agree, you can’t live your entire life at war with the part of yourself that’s only trying to defend you against past wrongs and present annoyances, this is the kind of thing that various talk therapies are made for, helping you to reconcile parts of yourself and let them find safe and healthy expression.

I tried to live like that myself (different issues, same fundamental internal war) and it nearly destroyed me! So I’m not just flapping my gums here. :slight_smile:

When I was searching for a quote by Azazel that I posted in your other thread, I happened across this - it would seem to me (and given my biases towards self-improvement) that it may be a useful thing to bear in mind, if you set about dealing with these things, because the very existence and power of everything is, in some way, subject to the amount of attention we give it:

All things are formed from one primordial nothingness, not at some point in the distant past, but in each moment. Every moment that you consider me, I come into being. Every moment that you consider yourself, you are brought into existence.

Stop considering yourself, and you will cease to be. I have appeared to men as they have considered me. I taught them that which they were on the brink of learning them selves. I concatenated their realizations. I would say that I have always existed as this promethean Pandorian figure, be cause all time for me is present.

However, I have not existed at all until this moment. But neither have you. Where does this leave the idea of your objective reality? Reality is far from objective. Can you name a single thing that exists independent of your observation? Such a thing does not exist.

When you and I meet, you and I come into existence. Until that point, there is no you, there is no I. You exist only in your relation to that which surrounds you. Your very physical form is held together, as mine is in this smoke, by the pressure inside of your skin meeting the pressure outside of your skin, and both forces holding you in one piece.

This is a type and a shadow of the whole of existence. Only through the application of various forces of pressure does any thing exist. You have learned to master some of these pressure systems, and can apply them to summoning something forth from nothingness to speak to you. You ask if I am real? I am as real as the world around you, which is not real at all.

That’s from the Book Of Azazel, laid out in this post and E.A. references it in a video, here.

You can reframe your past (something E.A. talks about having done in one of his videos) to remove that which erodes your strength, and to reclaim that which empowers you.

I’m probably biased in my opinion on such… but Azazel is fucking amazing when it comes to this sort of thing. An absolute treasure. Hang in there… it will be well worth it.

Oh and another thing… There is nothing wrong with starting off with too much. Sometimes it takes that leap into the heart of chaos for some real change to happen. Is it gentle with sunshine rainbows and unicorns? No… it’s utter hell. Some of us need to rip off the proverbial bandaid and bleed it out. Some of us need to plummet to the depths of our own hell so we can find our crown and rise above it. This is perfectly ok.

I had a similar thing happen when I started work with some more violent natured entities. What kept me trapped in the feeling of violence was trying to resist and fight against it.

What allowed me back to a place where I was able to make rational choices without feeling strong urges was to accept that part of myself fully. I did a past life meditation where I accepted that part of me, the violent part of myself as real, and communicated with that aspect of myself to discover why I was having those feelings and thoughts.

Turns out that aspect of myself was tapping into a ‘primal man’ stage of energy, think like ‘cave man’ type of energy. In that reality killing was the only way to solve problems, since there was no one else to rely on and any threat left alive was a death sentence for myself. I established a communication with that past self aspect, and explained how reality was different now, and that resorting to violence now was something that would not get me the results I wanted.

Once I did this all those problems with violent tendencies simply didn’t happen anymore.

Don’t worry about losing those abilities or qualities though, if you need them in a desperate situation where they are appropriate, they can be quite useful and are still available.

Azazel took the two and made them one I still have violent urges but I understand now