I Break My Vow Of Silence - Exposing The Secrete Dark Order I Was In [KOS]

I Break My Vow Of Silence - Exposing The Secrete Dark Order I Was In [KOS].

I was apart of this magickal order which was highly secretive, it was based in the UK, Kent, Margate.

The order called themselves KOS - Keeper Of Shadows. I had no idea about them nor did I even want to join them as no one knew they fucking existed at the time.

I didn’t find them, they however found me.

Encounter With A Initiate

Okay I remember it like it was yesterday, I was a young teen after school I’d go visit this old corner occult store.

In the front they sold crystals, candles, ornaments, jewellery.
However if you went in the back there was a whole library basically of grimoires, spell books, occult writings, spiritual compendiums etc.

The old witch who run the shop, always let me leave with something free.
She insisted, I became such a good customer I was the only one she’d let take any book and read it in the back with out paying.

I had heard about that she hosts weekly lessons, for traditional witchcraft not black not white just plane old witchcraft.

She kept asking me to attend and I kept makings excuses, however I remember this girl walked through the door.

She was a few years older than me, black hair, piercings and had a inverted pentagram on her chest just above her cleavage.

Turns out it’s the shopkeepers niece, she explained that she’s looking after the front of the store while she’s tutoring out back.

This girl kept looking at me over and over, I had a real attraction to her which I couldn’t shake.
So being a dumb teen, I thought if I attended maybe I could get to know this girl.

So I came back a few days later after school, I was sat out the back listening to her talk about stuff I had already learned myself.

No offense to her but I got bored and decided to slip out the front of the shop while no one was looking.

There this girl was rolling a joint on top of the desk, she looked at me and laughed.
I remember the words she said to me
“Boring huh, want to see something”.

She had a evil look in her eyes which was very seductive so I agreed.
She took out this book from her rucksack, leather cover completely black.

The whole book was filled with symbols, drawings, extensive rituals, gates etc.
I was taken in immediately, it was all hand written I couldn’t believe it.
She’s hot and is a adept, she explained that this text copied.

She had someone else’s book for a few months to copy all the text into another book.
She gave me her Facebook and said she’d keep in touch and if I was interested we could do some Magick together.

I was like ‘Fuck Yeah’ I’m a raging hormonal teenager with a passion for black Magick and she roused both of my main curiosities.

I left the shop and went home, she messaged me around 1.30am asking if I was still awake.
So I replied ‘Yeah’ we both said we were bored and we decided to meet down the beach and I asked her to bring her book.

We met up on the beach and we kept talking but she was hesitant showing me the book.
She explained that she shouldn’t have shown me but she really wanted too and didn’t know why.

I asked why is it such a secret, she said she’s a part of something which is very secretive and there was a space for another Initiate.

Turns out this girl had seen me before, reading, studying and surpassing all my age and even others older than me. She explained she could sense that we were suppose to meet, if I were to join I had to meet the others.

I was dying to enter this to glean all the hidden forbidden knowledge they might possess.
So fast foward two or three weeks she messaged me out of the blue.

She let me know that the others had agreed to meet with me and they would pick me up after school.

Somehow they knew what school I was in, so after school I waited and waited anxiously.
This black vauxhall pulls up on the curb, it was full except one seat.

Two guys in the front, one was a adult, the other a teen, me and Harmony were in the back with another adult woman.

We spoke and went for a drive, we played some music and asked me about my spiritual background.

Anyway the main guy driving, his name was Chris he said that the group is a lot bigger than just who was in the car.

They let me know the only reason their allowing me to know all this, is because Harmony was sent out to find another member for the order.

I just came to the realisation that she was the bait for a young teenage guy.
I didn’t care about it I just wanted to know what all this was about.

First before any initiation or meeting I had to undergo a test to prove my abilities as a magician.

They gave me a symbol, they told me that it was the sign of a certain spirit.
They wouldn’t tell me the nature of this spirit, only it’s name I would have to make contact with it and report my experiences.

So they drove me back to the school as I wasn’t comfortable them knowing where I lived, although it wouldn’t have surprised me if they all ready known.

So that very night I got home and got ready for the summoning.

The Test.

I set out my black candles formed a circle, cleansed and purified the area.
I lit incense, performed circumambulation and started vibrating the name of the spirit whilst gazing at its sigil in my hand.

I did this over and over, until a presence was felt in the temple.

I extinguished the flames of the candles and sat in total darkness.
I used my intuition alone and opened my second pair of eyes to look into the darkness.
I began whispering it’s name drawing it closer to me.

In my mind I saw a transparent phantom, I could hear wind and it moved like it had no solid form at all.

After all it manifested in the east, with that cardinal direction and the appearance, plus the feel of its energies I understood it to be a spirit of air.

I struggled with communicating with this entity, however I understood it not to be a elemental but rather a demonic spirit of air.

I ended the ritual and simply went to sleep, I woke up the next day to a message from harmony.

Asking me if I did anything yet, I sent her a message it went something like …
" The spirit is a demon, its very feminine and malicious however I noticed it had aspects of the element air ".

Sure enough, I passed the test.
The demon was without gender but did seem to have feminine energies.
They called it a ‘The Demon Of The Ferocious Winds’.

They accepted me, they let me know that no more communication was to be done online and would instead be in person.

Entering The Order

I met up with harmony after school at the occult shop. She picked up some supplies that the order needed.

She also brought with her weed, tobacco, ecstasy and told me there would be drink there.
They knew my age but she said they don’t concern themselves with worry and it would be of my own free will if I did any substance.

Turns out they like to party after a ritual, so I thought fuck it why not.

We went to the chalk caves at Margate beach, there a few of them lit candles and sat me down and discussed what they were all about.

Their goal wasn’t just ascent but they believed in a dark lord which they called ‘Zyan’ this entity was the main god of the order, the main archetype of the group.

They said that ‘Zyan’ was a dark lord of chaos and darkness, he has appeared under many other names however this form is one which was free of mankind’s influence whatever that meant.

Their agenda was gaining the knowledge, skills and power to open various gateways.
Which would usurp all the power of the local masses and nature, to feed the dark lord for his return to earth.

At this point I started drinking, smoking weed and even popped a ecstasy pill.
We lit candles and danced in the cave while being drunk and high.
One couple were having sex behind the cave wall, the others were dancing erotic while harmony was just sort of teasing me.

It was at this point that the partying came to a stop and the head of the order ‘Chris’ asked me to join him alone outside of the cave.

He said that I had great power and potential that he could see in me. He assured me however if I did not want anything to do with the order to leave before anymore was revealed.

I asked to join, I needed to know what the hell they were all about and what could I learn from them.

So he said there were initiations I had to undergo in order to become a full member.
The order however seemed to be more like a wolf pack than a order.
Chris was the alpha, Sandra was the omega, the other couple were betas, the rest subordinates.

For the weekend I underwent various initiations, in various settings and various powers present.
I was tested by entering dangerous dark depths of a cave which if I fell would lead to death.

I was to sit there and call on the power of Zyan.
I had to stay there for hours on end until harmony would be sent to collect me, I spent so much time isolated in the darkness surrounded by this wicked presence i was close to sleeping.

I understood this act was a test of patience, fear and devotion. I underwent group rites of calling on well known demons like Leviathan and Belial.
We also called on the spirit founded by Chris, the dark lord Zyan.

I was in this group for a good 6 months, I learned their beliefs and practices.
However I excelled rather quicker than those around me and began being outspoken on my own ideas.

The leader Chris didn’t like that at all, I could sense he was threatened he was like a dictator and possessed a controlling narcissistic personality.

I began talking to the order during meetups, about my gnosis which I received from working with various demons like Lucifer.

Everyone was shocked with the stuff I came up with, the ideas I was presenting were different and this angered ‘Chris’.

A few weeks went by, I didn’t hear from the order at all. Turns out one of the initiates got caught sacrificing an animal in the graveyard and had a considerable amount of drugs on him.

The order went under the radar, however I contacted Harmony, she met up with me and was distraught and upset.

I kept asking her what was wrong, she said that Chris now has the number of people needed for the rite of bringing Zyan. However Dan was out of the group from the run in with the authorities so now he needed one more person.

She also said that Chris put a curse on me, I didn’t understand why, after all I was a part of his order. See Chris was indeed a very intelligent occultist and possessed incredible power, he didn’t like the fact that someone was his equal and was worried if I ascended above him.

So wanted to curse me to bind my power, also he demanded we find another person.
However for such a ritual they would need to be as far along as the rest of us which we just couldn’t find.

Plus I was mad at Chris for the curse, the childishness too. I confronted him in front of the entire order he denied the accusations and said that for Harmony saying such a thing she must be punished.

I slowly started to notice that he had become rather addicted to the narcotics he was taking and was no longer the great master he mad himself out to be.

I stood my ground and backed harmony up and said, even if she was lying what do you mean by punishment. This man had a twisted look in his eyes and I couldn’t stand it.

I shouted out for all to hear, that he was trying to be control others and was acting this way because of his inflated ego.

I walked away and he shouted threats, that if I left I would be killed.
After this harmony poor girl, was driven mad by the dark workings she was in.
The workings I undertook myself and were intense, especially when she was doped up on the drugs.

I was at a magickal war with the order, curses and hexes were thrown in my direction.
However they had no idea, what I was truly capable off.

I needed to remove Chris from the order, after a few rituals. Chris was arrested for assault and possession of drugs.

I met up with the group, we rebuilt it in a new image. They appointed me as the highest initiate so I went through the highest initiations possible in the order.

After all this, I told them I was leaving and that true power doesn’t come in the order it comes from within us.

I took my book and burnt it, I left Margate and never returned to place again.
I entered the order as the lowest initiate, I rose through the ranks, overthrew the asshole leader and then left on my own journey.

From what I heard many of the members lives are fucked up right now, the poor girl Harmony actually killed herself so I heard.

She even deactivated her Facebook and everything, I did learn about many mysterious things in The Keepers Of Shadows.

However the Magick was amazing and great, sometimes sinister and fucked up but the way the order fell was terrible.

So this is my story, I broke my oath of secrecy and now decide to share it all with you.
It was one hell of a journey one I’ve been wanting to discuss for a long time.




woah thats an awesome story brother
aslo Zyan sounds like azlyn


wow you’ve came along way my brother im glad you were able to get out before it consumed you glad to have you here among us brother you are truely amazing


Thank you both


This proves the impression I have gotten from you since being in this forum. You are probably one of the most naturally powerful ‘humans’ on this timeline.


Everytime I read something I get so impressed. Man you truly are a legend :+1:


Interesting. I tend to avoid orders, even the more “mainstream” like the Masons, for this same reason of things getting a little out of hand–although it all comes from within–when there are so many codes/rules and ego plays ( :slight_smile: sometimes quite sincere but less than enlightened :slight_smile: ) that one is distracted from the truth of Self-knowledge.
Still, you gained some interesting experiences which always is expanded knowledge of self.


That’s interesting. I was once on an order but I left because I found that I wanted to live on my own. It wasn’t so complicated tough. It was more like “ok, you are going to leave the order so you can never talk about it”, we made a “pact” and I left.

Since then my life changed. In the first six months, I evolved more than in two years on that order. Sometimes, they push us back just because they think that knowledge needs a specific amount of time to be taken. They don’t really want to raise you up but they limit your growth in order for you not being “more” than them.

That’s sucks, in fact.


I find your lifestory great. Nice to read you :sunny:
Personally i love my coven in spite of haveing too a minor Problem with someone in the Order.

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He is amazing isn’t he :innocent:

Thank you all, hope my experience can shred some insight or give answers to any of you.


Damn, from your description between you and this Chris fellow. Almost sounds like something out of the Craft. Jealousy can easily plague the mind of a leader of a Order if they’re an ego maniac who happen to be power hungry. Glad you saw through him and was able to fight back.


It’s amazing what you have to do in Margate to amuse yourself when Bembom brothers was closed :grinning::grinning:

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The wrong friends can do a lot more harm than enemies in most cases. Always important to know when to bail. And also keep your dick under control but thats another thing entirely.


You wouldn’t happen to remember the sigil and name of this ‘Demon of the Ferocious Winds’ would you?

Forgive my doubt but even one who is naturally powerful may be prone to exaggeration especially as a forefront to any attempt at marketing or to pull some certain sway or attention. Even E.A is guilty of this and I myself have been having quite a few doubts about many on this forum especially those who seem most popular. A few might know specifically of what a speak so really I am trying to decide how trustworthy many of those who seem so popular really are and how much success just comes from placebo effect on those following them as we know they can work pretty impressive magick on its own.

I feel revealing some such as this initiatory spirit would help truly solidify the truth of this account and go a long way towards showing the hidden side of the world is indeed true and restore some faith in others that are beginning to doubt whether anyone else is even experiencing such things or if all those that come forward are just playing things up or in a few cases just fabricating full tales for reputation.

We can talk this over if you want publically or in pm. I would prefer pm for some subjects as they might cause more ill feelings when it comes to some of the doubts and reasons for them that I have towards many that seem so vocal here. Hope this doesn’t come off as rude but I’m a bit tired of having my expectations of what others are capable of and the truth of their experiences let down.


I would take a wild guess here and consider Pazuzu
or Shax

However, Mata Upola would be a specific EAST Wind Demon,
but i can’t see him matching into the story i read from C.Kendall.

Ninlil (also called Sud), also falls out of the describtion for me, since i can’t see how any of those would have been embedded deep enough to work with the Sumerian Pantheon.
If at all C.Kendall is on that level, at least by now,
but back then for the initiation, i rather doubt that.

However, C. Kendall is in the position to explain it exactly, if he chooses so.

In case you need a little helper with working back the supressed memory,
here’s a general list of possible Demons:

As for the Coven’s goal “to incarnate the Demon Zyan”, which according to some talk seems to be a prince…

Zayn Malik may be the closest call i can see for that.
However, that’s merely guessing from my 2 cent’s thrown into the basket.

I mean the mean the Zyan Malik seems to ring a bell or two.^^




Maybe it’s just me but that seems a bit rude… if you doubt in magick then certainly succeeding at it yourself is the best evidence that it works? But I know for myself I certainly wouldn’t want to be questioned because people thought I was lying. Sharing is difficult enough as it is.

I think the account sounds pretty reliable. Nothing really sounded too far-fetched, and I’m pretty prone to doubt myself. I’d just rather not foster an environment of “prove it” as that can be rather stressful.

Just my opinion.


Been toying around with the idea of joining/starting my own order… I mean, I have some stuff for it already made, but I haven’t fleshed it all out yet.


Not just yours.
I had the same concern, and i’m glad you point it out.
However, Nemesis is in the position to be well allowed to make these statements.
He’s been here for quite a while and also knows his way around.

Besides, how shall we ever learn anything new, if we just keep reworking continuesly what has been done already?




It’s not so much that I doubt magick as I’ve been led to have my doubts about the validity of many on this site for varying reasons. To experience some things and yet have everyone else who claims such inevitability fall through beyond those that were at your side at a time. It creates both a form of doubt as to everyone else and a sense of pride and arrogance that can be dangerous to believe that only yourself and those closest to you have truly experienced or accessed that side of the world to that extent. So I am seeking some proof to this account to perhaps remedy my growing doubt and discontent in others who time after time are proven either frauds, delusional, or exaggerating far beyond what really happened.

So more in seeking proof it is also seeking a sort of humbleness of not being so special that no one else can match you or your experiences. Suppose you have such an experience yourself along with a few others but everyone else who seems like they can share in that and expand on that knowledge and experience time and time again turn out false. After enough time I am sure you can imagine some of what that creates in you.

I don’t think I am asking much in the identity of one being that if it has been so used for such a test likely multiple times can by simply being evoked clear up doubt for all and provide everyone a new spirit to deal with and learn from. A win win for everyone from what I see if that helps clear things up.