I cannot see him, nor can I hear him. But I felt him and I “thought” him. The problems with this method is that.
He can’t really give me any info I don’t already know. Barely, anyways.
Hard to distinguish between my thoughts and his words.
He was a teacher, to say the least. Talked to me about the elements, what they meant, and how to apply them to everyday life and practice. Talked about balance. Water, then fire, then air, then earth.
A few other things happened as we conversed. It’s dark in my room, with a little light shining through the blinds. One of the rays hit something that has curved glass. He asked me to gaze into the ray (which contorted into a small light)
Soon enough, the area around the light completely disappeared, but I kept refocusing and everything re-appeared. He said this practice will highly develop what I’m after (sight, understanding of elements etc)
I wanted to give up. It was so hard and I didn’t know why it would help. How it would help. He said I should destroy the weakness making me want to give up. I tried, and it mostly worked but eventually we both saw it wouldn’t get anywhere tonight. He left.
I’m still trying to decide if these were my thoughts or his words. It’s so frustrating.
Very interesting. Write everything down about your experience in a journal before you forget the details xD
Continue to work with what you got, and what you were given. Give it some time. The benefit of the doubt is always good, especially when you are just beginning.
Continue to meditate and reach out. Eventually you will have an experience in which you will KNOW that ‘was not me’. It takes patience and diligence. It is why ‘know thyself’ is so prominent in the occult. When you can watch your own thoughts, you’ll know what is you and what is spirit. It just takes time, practice, and with it experience.
Feeling the Archangel and ‘thinking’ him are the first steps to real full blown evocation! You are literally, like halfway there. Most people cant even get into the trance state deep enough, or are plagued with self doubt to the point that it cripples their magical imagination, and therefore stagnant their growth as a magician. Eventually they give into frustration and give up before they get anywhere. Whats the saying, patience is a virtue?
The light exercise is interesting in itself. Light is a powerful force, which you no doubt read about in the theory section in IIH. Though I do wish the author would have expanded upon their ideas on the topic, but that wouldn’t leave any experimentation for us magicians XD
I have merged conciousness with Metatron and can help anyone that might be interested in understanding his language, dialect, demeanor, and presence after evocation.