In many ways I am like a vampire but I feel compelled to achieve the sweet flavour of godhood like vampires crave blood. I think if you scream loud enough you can attract attention of a spirit nature.
I need divine power so I can freely develop as I choose. A single pact for divine power so I can do whatever else I want is better than 4 pacts between demons. I am unsure but I highly doubt that the spirits enjoy being “personal genies”, even if they attain something in return. Surely to teach a man to fish is better than giving a bunch of fish.
When you can do for yourself you don’t need to bargain. I seek my own power. I want to be my own god, my own supernatural royal that other people would evoke. My soul hungers. It’s also a feeling that I can describe of “achieving things that are already felt like a part of me.” Vampirism is one. I need to see the path that allows me to connect these things. To essentially become who I always was. My spirit is longing.