I’ve had it with feeling hopeless, powerless, and helpless.
Every ‘good’ thing in my life just seems to be a dangling carrot with some asshole jockey whipping me in the ass every time I try to veer one way or the other.
I want to be a Christian, but I dont want to be a ascetic poor one, that does no good in my opinion.
On the other hand, every time I have prayed to the demonic kings in the past and then saw an image of Christ, I was enraged with pure hatred at the image.
I dont want either of those. So, how to just play the middle with Koettings material as an aid? I also dont want entities hanging around in my residence, be they good, evil or neutral other than my cat and I.
Thanks.
A neophyte pissed off at being and feeling powerless, hopeless, helpless, ashamed, ridiculed, poor spiritually and materially, and generally pissed off and afraid of everything. – Fuego
Left-Hand Path doesn’t mean you have to be evil, selfish, or hang with demons - it just means not acknowledging external moralities and godhood above your own, at least that’s a common interpretation of it that I happen to share.
I care about a ton of issues out in the world and do what I can to help them - I just don’t let issues like Xian morality or “karma” or whatever tell me that what my heart (or common sense) says, is actually wrong.
My suggestion fwiw is to try working with godforms, ideally ones from your ancestral heritage or just ones you feel really drawn to, maybe Greek or Egyptian… they’re usually really open to help you, if you approach them sensibly, and they’re not involved in the whole the “dark”/“light” thing in the same way.
Honestly, it sounds like you have quite a few things to let go of, be it past experiences, beliefs, world-views, etc, before you are ready to move forward.
Left, Right…these are man-made terms to me. I walk no path but one foot in front of the other.
Where it leads, is where it was meant to lead. Let go of doubt, insecurity, fear, and your path will be the correct one. Your feet don’t lie.
Start with mediation my friend…
I’m not ‘uber-mage’ or anything…but I’ve been meditating for a long time…I know myself, and thus I catch on quickly.
You have to be prepared to destroy the old you in a ring of hellfire, in order for the new you (In other words the REAL you) to shine forth.
It sounds like you’re defining your goals in the the negative, except for the part about wanting to be a Christian.
Decide what you want and live that way. Drop whatever is in your life that does not work for you. Including places you go, people you know, habits, etc.
To accelerate this you can do something everyday that you have not done before. Break your routines. Put your clothing in different drawers or on the other side of the closet. A simple way to wake yourself up, and remind yourself to live according to your own choices rather than follow what has not worked for you.
Both the above suggestions are great. They get you moving in a mental vector in a direction of your own choice towards your own chosen ideals rather than following the path of what has been before.
I grew up christian myself, I know how tough it is, especially with those stupid jocks who think they own the world and are superior to you. Im a grey magician myself and in this world no matter how good you are adversity will come your way.
Invoke/evoke and communicate with the archangels.
Camael the archangel of mars will help you with your masculinity and adversaries and to become a more powerful person I suggest getting a punching bag in learning mma and how to fight for your rights and others.
Haniel the archangel of Venus will help you with relationships, love, intuitiveness, sexuality (is not evil),and your more feminine qualities along with emotional health.
Cassiel the archangel of Saturn will help you get past obstacles in your life, and is great for teaching your enemies a lesson which can be justified.
Raphael will heal you mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Michael will battle the evil in your life oppressing you and protect you.
Excellent guidance, all of it, much thanks, I have started some of the suggestions, and some things have opened up, some have been laid to waste. Seems it is time to get with the archangels.
[quote=“Lady Eva, post:2, topic:3396”]Left-Hand Path doesn’t mean you have to be evil, selfish, or hang with demons - it just means not acknowledging external moralities and godhood above your own, at least that’s a common interpretation of it that I happen to share.
I care about a ton of issues out in the world and do what I can to help them - I just don’t let issues like Xian morality or “karma” or whatever tell me that what my heart (or common sense) says, is actually wrong.
My suggestion fwiw is to try working with godforms, ideally ones from your ancestral heritage or just ones you feel really drawn to, maybe Greek or Egyptian… they’re usually really open to help you, if you approach them sensibly, and they’re not involved in the whole the “dark”/“light” thing in the same way. :)[/quote]
Very well said and spoken like a true Magi. I applaud your interpretation and representation of otherwise over analyzed principles. Non duality all the way.
The Archangels are associated with the planets (at least to my knowledge) - while most demons (especially those found in the Goetia) are closer to 3rd dimensional reality as we know it. This is why demons are more commonly used for aspects pertaining to altering physical reality and circumstance, where angels are better for affecting the light body of the magician. A good place to start if you’re feeling hopeless and ineffectual.
It has been said that to have power, a person must be adept at both white and black magic.
All I can say is, it sounds good to me. I am not far enough along on either path to say experientially. Just seems like having a balance is a good idea and you can use both white and black versus only being able to use one.
Also, having only black magic brings much greater risk of self destruction, having too much negativity.
Philanthropy is a philosophy that states that "to have power, your good works should balance your evil ones."
Again, I am just quoting here. It makes some sense to me.
I think of myself as a black magician but I DO use white magick. The whole idea of being a black magician is not to impose any limitations upon yourself. Thus a black magician can freely work white and black magick.
