Recently a family member of mine died to the virus. Before then, I was doing all I could to help the rest of the family as well as doing the magick I felt like would help. Countless healing spells, evocations, protection spells, as well as the virus frequency hacking spell released not that long ago. It appeared as though they were getting better, and all of a sudden they were gone. After that I asked myself many questions and had many doubts;
“What if I meditated more?”
“Maybe if I did one more ritual”
“If only I was more powerful”
I felt like I was at fault. That somehow their death was because of my lack of ability as a magician. Now, this has splintered my growth as I’m constantly in fear of if something worked, if I’m good enough, if I was ever worth my salt to begin with.
I decided to invoke Azazel, to gain wisdom on this situation, but to also feel comfort from a spirit who has given a lot to me. To which I heard, “I want you to do something for me- stop blaming yourself.”
So I guess the question(s) that I’m asking is: When things take a turn for the unexpected, how do you deal with those moments? How do you deal with the doubts and guilt those moments come with? How do you deal with the fact that you tried your best, and it didn’t bring about the results you hoped? How do you deal with, for lack of a better term, failure?
Thank you for taking the time to read my post, and have a good day. Stay safe!