I’m new here but have introduced myself in a previous post already. Before I go into detail, I want to give the disclaimer that I’m aware that all actions have consequences, including the choices we make and the propositions we agree to. I also say this to acknowledge that I believe I can improve my situation with magic acting as a catalyst. So, to be as brief as possible, I was dating someone for a few months the beginning of last year before finding out I was pregnant. He proposed, I agreed. At the time, things were going smoothly and our connection was seemingly amazing so yes seemed like such a natural answer, but as we all know, hindsight is 20/20 and time is a teacher. Shortly after moving in, we found out just how incompatible we are regarding every human facet imaginable and beyond that, he thinks blind fits of rage is tolerable behavior from an adult. He isnt an “evil” person but he’s a hot head, vastly ignorant with minimal intellectual or emotional intelligence, and doesn’t care about fighting when our infant is in the room. Something I put a boundary on that he keeps disrespecting. I’m not a saint either; I’m snarky, dismissive when irritated, and see myself “above” what I consider to be petty arguments…something he normalizes. He’s also part of a super conservative christian family that pays for everything because he works a minimum wage job and I’m currently in college finishing up prereqs for a med program…and despite claiming he has no religious affiliation, there is a lot of residual christian bullshit programmed into his psyche…for example, man being the head of the household, women are hormonal which is why they are so disagreeable, etc. To be honest, which I expect of myself on here considering that this is a community I wish to learn from and thrive in…I’m just staying for my son. In retrospect, I wish I would have denied his proposal and raised my kid alone with the help of my humorous filipino lumpia eating family. After all, all he did was nut in me and I’m doing all the raising, nurturing, and loving while he just expects the woman to fulfill her role. I’m a very pragmatic person so I can rationalize a lot but I want my power back and I’m hoping someone on here can advise me with something useful and substantial.
PS - I know divorce is the most common sense, mundane answer to my problem…but in the grand scheme of things, I’m not willing to share my child with this man. Nor subject him to his side of the family…all of whom are extremely religious, ignorantly pious, super traditional and close minded. He claimed to be detached from his family when we were first dating but that couldn’t be further from the truth. He is very attached and freaks the fuck out whenever I speak about my beliefs around them. Overall a coward.
Tldr; if there is power to be regained in this impulse decision of a situation, I want it.