I started writing it and then… I dunno.
Anyways I’m back and I’ll try again.
Anyways it started when I watched this youtube ad.
It was this woman saying how she tried to get money and get boyfriends and stuff and that it wasn’t working. That she thought that the secret to success was hard work but … it wasn’t.
the secret was… not having an orgasm.
That we lose all this energy on having orgasms and blah blah blah.
But essentially it was like a tantric sex magick course for women.
Sort of like how the law of attraction is a magick course for business people, but remarketed.
So I started not orgasming.
I had a pretty pathetic dating life last summer. I finally had this one guy that I sort of liked and I would be all pathetic and cry if he didn’t text me back later that day. blah : P
and after our second date, it was obvious that it wasn’t going to work.
I missed this relationship I had previously where we knew each other for a while and we were able to build a relationship on knowing each other for over 10 years. I yearned for someone else like that, that we could build on such closeness. I ran through names of different guy names looking for someone whom I had forgot about. By the end I had a name. I was skeptical with tears in my eyes… but I don’t know anyone by that name. Than later I met him at speed dating. Ironic that it was speed dating, as speed gave me super tantric magick sex powers and turned into this weird conflict I had with this guy.
Anyways I would always write him, he was a writer and I got excited to write him, next thing I knew I thought of him so much I would hear him talk back telepathically and… I will skip some details somewhere but he wanted me to keep not climaxing. It felt like it was becoming like this sacred vow, then he said he was going away for a work trip for 10 days and not to climax until he came back. It seemed like a joke I suppose but that proved it to me and next thing I knew I was holding on from climaxing for dear life. I also started to have major problems sleeping. I started getting increasingly odd, I turned super psychic for a day or two where all I had to do was rest for a few minutes and get a download.
But my letters I was writing him got increasingly crazier too.
I guess I said something about demons that I think he took to be a threat that I was going to send demons after him.
I only meant it as a click baity joke that was meant as a metaphor but between the no climax and no sleep and the drugs and the chemical rush of this guy and the drama, and all my spiritual silly at the time, I may not have been using me best judgement.
Also this was before I ever came to this forum.
Anyways I had no idea how to send demons to attack someone, but it looks like he knew.
He said sometimes when you stair into the abyss the abyss stairs back and shortly after reading it I was covered in molesty dark demonic spirits that would breath fear into me.
Then I remembered he was my soulmate that I have been incarnating and often have romantic relationships for countless aons. But sometimes, like over our last 3 lives together for instance, we have had some problems.
I think that might explain ‘the saga’ more than my first post actually.