Help Me Understand


#1

This is not a possession. This is… something else.

I am changing, on the astral. I can see in my mind’s eye the lights around me parting and coming again together. I feel feral, animalistic, and almost brutish. My speech cuts in and out of some strange language, the words of which I’ve never heard before. I screwed myself of a business opportunity because my speech became words of spat astral hate.

What is happening to me?

Recently, I received a vision. I was a fully realized monster, bending over a meal, ripping it to shreds. I was in water, and the chamber around me was dome shaped. It was dark, with candles attached to pillars. I recognized Nidhogg out of the corner of my mind’s eye. He was with a humanoid entity, which relaxed on a pillar. I realized that Nidhogg was far more tense, and the humanoid lax.

As I ate, I heard them talking.

“He’s not ready yet,” The humanoid said. “He’s almost feral.”

“He’ll beat it back, he always does.” Nidhogg rumbled, turning to me.

“If he can’t stop it-” The humanoid.

“He will.” Nidhogg.

“Aren sas, Nidhogg.” The humanoid said, turning to him.

“Aren sas, my fiend.” Nidhogg said, turning to me. “Aren sas.”

What is Aren sas? Why am I astrally turning into something… else?

How did I insert a cancer into a man’s etheric body?

What is happening to me?


#2

Intrusive channeling lol. Banish.


#3

Banished.

Since then, the channeling of visions stopped, but I still speak almost every other word in this weird language. I get the feeling that this is natural, rather than invasive. I’ve suppressed it since, but I need to know more of this language.

Has anyone had this kind of thing happen to them?


#4

You become what you focus on. With all your focus on draining and killing, it’s only natural to become a true slayer and natural hunter. This might be a good point to consider whether being a part of human society for the long term would be useful to your goals.

I used to have this happen, along with thoughts and emotions of a violent atavistic nature. From what I could sense the words probably had some meaning, although I was not able to discern them.

When this became a problem for me I went into a meditative state and contacted this other self-aspect. For me it appeared as a past life memory of a pre-history type of life. In this life the only way to live or even communicate at times was to kill. Kill to eat, kill to prove I’m stronger, kill to survive, etc. I was accessing memories of how to be successful, but from a time that was so ancient that it was detrimental to my current time incarnation. After having a conversation with this other self/memory cluster, and explaining how these things were not helpful to my present life, I have not had any problems or interference at all.

I feel this is kind of like a completion or integration of a greater understanding of our whole nature as humans. We have so much power and ability, but we had to start somewhere. Perhaps these types of mind-states would be useful, for example in a war zone, etc. But for day to day life they will only get you locked up or put down.


#5

Great response Narius!

Anyway, I feel being part of human society is a requirement for me. Without society, I could just slip into the astral and physical body would fade to nothingness.

This could hardly be a past life- could it? It had my benefactor and a shadowy figure within.

The thing is, I almost don’t want these predatory feelings to stop.


#6

That is your choice. However, I would recommend that YOU be the one in control of your destiny. The other option is to remain at the mercy of some other being, and become a pawn. Take charge. Be in command of yourself and your destiny.

As to it being a past life, possession, astral attack, an unlocking of latent abilities, etc, only you can find out. Do the research and investigate, find out, and then do what needs to be done.


#7

My question is, what is making me not want them to stop? I’m sure you probably can’t just know, but I need to. And fear not for my destiny, for it was I that made this course, and then I met Nidhogg.

And besides, if things really do fall apart, he counts as a god, no?


#8

Well here is a quesiton for you.

Are these experiences leading you towards the destiny you want, or are they a glamorous distraction that is keeping you away from your ascension?

Are they developing skills you can consciously use, or are they signalling a loss of control?

Have a chat with N. about it since he seems to be playing a major role in this.

More importantly, go find out. No need to tell me or anyone else about it, unless you get stuck.


#9

One more thing I’ll mention. The more clear you are on your goals, your ultimate destiny, the easier it will be to determine which things are distractions and which are roads to power.