Have anyone of you guys working with Odin got ‘love is not good’ impression from him?
When I did ‘play with my hand’ while thinking about him (I did it in his honor and to raise my magickal abilities) he gave me impressions that he doesn’t really like sexual activities.
Actually he showed me one of his bynames on a pink background - Bölverk - while I was doing it.
(Honestly I didn’t call him by that name, and don’t wanna do it!)
This wasn’t the first time he gave me negative impressions on sexual activities, including love and marriage.
One night in my dreams I saw ‘兰因絮果’, a Chinese old saying that I haven’t really thought for a while.
It means ‘Meeting between people(particularly love relationship) is vain in the end’.
I think the Allfather gave me(at least let me get) that dream, 'cause I pray him every night before sleep to intervene in my dreams.
I’m confused!
Are these really message from him or just my subconscious mind impacted my dreams?
Yes, I know the mythology - his wife Frigg is a patron of love and marriage, and he himself got many children through relationships with many women.
But it’s also true that he doesn’t think love relationship is actually stable (see Hávámal).
And here is the interesting thing… I think so too.
I don’t think love relationship is good as I’ve seen too many lovers breaking(including me and my parents) and turning against each other.
So I can’t help but wondering what this is.
Divine message? My subconscious mind just playing with me? Maybe the sum of two?
Oh I don’t know… Help me please if you can.
I don’t have an answer for everything you ask but i can feel his exasperation from here.
Handplay isn’t fit for Odin. He’s a god of knowledge. He loves wit and words. He likes poems, good words, new knowledge. And it even feels like he’s sending you negative messages because he’s quite pissed (not annoyed, it’s been going on for too long) that you didn’t take the slightest time to try to figure out who he was and just doing things your way because of what you want to get. I’m not saying you made an ennemy. But i strongly suggest that you ask another god to be your patron from now on. Because he’s definitely not gonna help you.
If you want to honor a god like that, it’s possible though, you can do it for the twins, Freyr and Freyja, it’s their thing.
I mean, it’s like offering a porn version of a great movie to an person who loves the artistic aspect of cinema. "Hey i heard you like movies, here is a pornhub compilation and a gross parody of your favorite movie, you know, with boobs, because you know…Old movies are boring. "
Hope it helped 
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So then… I was stupid. I thought I know enough about him, but it was not.
How can I apologize to him?
I mean, if I pissed an acquaintance of me, I can say sorry and we can discuss what we should do from now on. Maybe we can have conversation more.
I never had apologized to a god, and nevertheless I want to do it seriously. I wish him give me a second chance.
Well, that would be between you and him.
But by experience we barely never work with the gods we want to.
They pick us because of what we have to accomplish for them and not the contrary.
I mean it might work like that for the other deities but not for ours.
Stopping doing that to him would be a good way to start.
And then, as i already suggested, you might try to look for the actual gods you’re meant to work with. He’s not really a God of forgiveness and you made him quite angry. I’d give some time for things to cool down.
Meanwhile you can try to see if this path is actually yours or not.It’s not a big deal if it’s not. But if it is, i strongly suggest to try studying it more seriously. There is no better way to honor a god of knowledge than actually learning things.
If i can help i’ll do my best. If not, best of luck.
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I’m not gonna doing it to him, of course!
But what should I do next? Should I just sit down and wait? Or should I write an apology letter to him? Will he give me a second chance?
I just really didn’t mean to do… Actually, seeing my beloved ones(people, gods, animals) getting hurt because of me, is my worst fear. But always I hurt them because I’m so stupid and ego-centric.
Will the Allfather know my mind?
I suggest you wait for a sign that he’s ready.
Honor him with learning as @LadyStardust said - Odin’s ways and the ways of the Norse people.
He’s not hurt, he’s just repulsed.
Don’t grovel. Start acting respectfully, which includes respecting yourself and not putting yourself down. It didn’t work out, no big deal - now you know for next time. You live and you learn.
In future it’s a good rule of thumb to ask/sense if what you want to offer is what they would like, whether it’s drink, food, energy or bodily substances.
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