Help me not get hurt

So I always find myself getting hurt when I have feelings for someone or have casual sex. I always get attached and very clingy. is there any spelling can do on myself to focus on myself more and not be so bothered if I don’t get the attention I want ??

I was (am) in your situation.
Find out your solution with psychology, and not with magick.
I made my conclusion, that may be the same as yours: I worth myself not as much as I really worth, so I feel realized when I’m with somebody, or better, when somebody makes compliments because I do not for myself.
And it fucking hurts when he/she goes away…
I got a girlfriend, and you know what hurts the most?
Do I love her or I love the fact that she makes me worth something?
My aim wasn’t to talk about my drama, but to let you know that sometimes pseudoscience like psychology can help the same as magick, giving even lessons.


Yeah my bf said my world shouldn’t revolve around him and not depend on him to be happy . But I can’t help that I feel awesome when I’m around him and feel like shit when we’re far . At this point I just want be heartless and not care so much

Oh dear one, you are not alone. I am a Serpent and a Leo, and for an extremely long portion of my life, I was only happy around my selected person.

Karasu is right, take a look at your relationship with yourself. When was the last time you did your hobby by yourself? Picked up a book by yourself? Found new music that YOU like? Watched a tv show or movie by yourself? Ate food that YOU like? It doesn’t have to be big, just pick something to do for yourself.

I have about 30 major hobbies, from crochet and embroidery to making chainmail to reading and writing to painting miniatures and playing tabletop games, and only about half of my hobbies will I do with my husband. The other half i reserve for myself, to keep me from building my house on top of his house.

Don’t choose to be heartless, my dear. Choose to pay enough attention to what YOU want instead of what you-and-he wants. Its a mental shift that takes serious commitment and practice, and is entirely worthwhile. It does feel wonderful to have another person so close to your heart you could be one and the same. But as social as people are, even the most closely intertwined people require self-care and weaning occasionally


I suggest finding more interests and hobbies. Do things you love doing that don’t nessasarily involve him. Are you a artist? Draw. Writer? Write. Movie buff? Watch movies with or with out friends. Dancer? Go dance.


I have allot of hobbies I just wish I wasn’t so butthurt when I don’t get the attention I want . Like no matter what I still get upset or bothered . I love drawing , singing , dancing , skating, working out , gardening , wrestling . Ect ect . I just wish I wasn’t so emotional at times and I could just brush things off .

It takes time you need to learn how to do it. Took me years lol. Try channeling that hurt energy into one of the other hobbies. Like pain into drawing and writting can do wonders. Also there is probably an underlying issue, which you will have to face at some point too.

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Dependency, clinginess and seeking attention is often a behavior that appears when we have fear of being abandoned or of being hurt. I was just like that, too. It’s pretty much the opposite of taken someone for granted, because if we don’t say that we love our partner a thousand times a day, they might forget about us, right? As a worst case scenario, these kind of behavior can raise doubt with our partner so much that they don’t bother to reply to our affection of love.

I was so clingy and afraid of being abandoned that my love interest, at that time, suddenly gave the most odd and strange reply when I said “I love you” to her. Guess what her reply was?


Whenever someone replies with “ditto”, that basically means that they don’t give a shit about you anymore. Of course it went downhill after that distant reply from her, and a week later she broke up with me. Ditto. I hate that word.

I can understand the fear of being abandoned, and of being hurt. But it’s always better to take distance with our own hobbies and interest, sometimes, so we don’t make our partners getting tired of us.

Brian May made a song called: “Too much love will kill you”, and that pretty much sums it up:

[quote]Too much love will kill you
If you can’t make up your mind
Torn between the lover
And the love you leave behind
You’re headed for disaster
’Cos you never read the signs
Too much love will kill you - every time

Too much love will kill you
Just as sure as none at all
It’ll drain the power that’s in you
Make you plead and scream and crawl
And the pain will make you crazy
You’re the victim of your crime
Too much love will kill you - every time

Yes, too much love will kill you
It’ll make your life a lie
Yes, too much love will kill you
And you won’t understand why
You’d give your life, you’d sell your soul
But here it comes again
Too much love will kill you[/quote]

I think balance is the key, when it comes to love and affection. Allow yourself by having quality time with yourself, or with friends and family, too.


This is very excellent advice, and is very ambiguous

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I totally get it, but I would just suggest something crazy like extra boyfriends! If it is possible for you It makes sense and fills the void nicely. If one leaves you have the others to comfort you. You are never alone and always have a backup when you lose one.

I would love to spoon with at least three guys at night. :heart_eyes::heart_eyes::heart_eyes:

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Hahaha!! Got any open bf positions??