Update on the shadows, early this morning at work, they were all around me. It was a crescent moon night. Usually i evoke/invoke Lilith on these nights. Was at work, so just had a simple mental conversation with her.
Took a break at around 2am n went to the parking lot for some reason. The energy around me got stronger. Besides what I was already seeing, I sensed something else behind me. I usually see Lilith in her sigils, or as myself, arachnid Lilith, so spiders. This morning, I saw her form while I was wide awake at work outside in the parking lot. I turned around n she was right there in a white dress.
I think I now get it y those shadows had made themselves more known. I’d complained that I wanted a physical manifestation, instead of one in my dreams, or walls. Maybe that was to prepare me to be able to see what I wanted to see.