I have lurked on this site for years, made an account last year but have never posted. Lately I’ve been feeling a pull back to this site and the demon that changed my life: Dantalion. Several years ago, I found myself wanting to gain the affection of a guy at work. I had a honey jar but as time went on, I’d just kind of light the candle without really doing anything else. I’d anoint myself with bewitching oil before heading to work, but usually not with anyone in mind. Finally, after reading around on here, I read a post about Dantalion that also gave his enn. I wrote his seal on a piece of paper along with his enn and began carrying it in my pocket everyday. I’d usually say his enn aloud daily before placing it in my pocket. I did this for several months, sometimes while thinking of the guy I liked, sometimes not.
My interest in him started to wane and became mostly about my sore ego wanting to prove myself to him. During this time a guy at work that had been flying under the radar suddenly started to become more to me. This guy ended up being my one and only. He was everything I’ve ever wanted in a man, even the things I didn’t know I needed. I have never sat and made a list of what I was looking for in someone, but this guy is better than a dream come true. We are constantly in each other’s heads, finishing one another’s sentences, we even got each other the exact same card for Valentine’s Day this year. We are married with a beautiful daughter and a son on the way. I am 100% convinced that this was Dantalion’s doing.
I lost my job in December. I had planned to look for another job but found out I was pregnant, and high risk at that. A few weeks later this virus hit, so a job isn’t on the horizon for me at the moment.
I suffer from narcolepsy without cataplexy (hence the screen name) coupled with bi-polar. I take medicine that would make most people run marathons. For me, it serves to keep my eyes open and perform basic tasks like getting out of bed and other simple tasks. I run on empty most days.
Lately I’ve been feeling more down than usual. Until I met my husband I was a workaholic with no goals in life. Now I have a family and feel like I’m not doing enough to secure our future. I’ve been thinking about magick much more lately but keep dismissing it. The day of my ultrasound for this baby, I sat on the edge of my bed and said to myself “I want a baby boy this time. More than anything. If there is something out there pulling me back to magick, then give me a son.” Incredibly ridiculous, I know. But as soon as the ultrasound tech said I’m having a boy, I felt a calm glow take over my body. I chose to view it as a sign. So here I am.
I have some goals I’d like to accomplish, and I figured putting them into words somewhere would maybe make me more likely to try to make them come to fruition.
-I’d like to find a decent stay at home job since childcare for two kiddos would be almost more than I would make at any job.
-I’d like to grow my knowledge enough to be able to invest a little bit of money into stocks or something that can grow over time.
-I’d like to get a handle on my depression and narcolepsy as well.
I will browse the forums for any names of demons that I feel might be able to help me. I am also open to any suggestions anyone might have as to where to start or even any advice from personal experience.