I’m an almost 40yo female & I live in the Chicagoland area. College-grad, bisexual, story-teller by nature, sometime artist, yada yada.
I’m more RHP, I truly hope that’s ok. I won’t go preaching.
I’ve been a student of comparative mythology & comparative religion pretty much my whole life. I’m gonna go into a sort of religious/spiritual history for myself; I hope y’all don’t mind. I’m an only child, parents are both Christian, but from different denominations, which led to my open-mindedness & searching for the truth in spiritual matters. Mom came from some small Pentecostal group in Kentucky, which honestly sounds like an abusive cult, to me (church most of the day, many days a week, everything was a sin that led to FIERY ETERNAL DAMNATION! 
). She doesn’t like to talk about it & I don’t blame her. It took them a long time to even get a radio & phone (cause those were of The Devil, ack!) They weren’t snake-handlers, as far as I know, but they’re into “speaking in tongues” & other things I find unusual. She’s a “general” Christian, now. Dad was raised Roman Catholic, but lapsed before I was born. I almost solely have contact with his family, since my mom’s family is states away. Though I did visit Mom’s relatives, last year & now they’re all trying to save my soul. 
My grandma liked to think of herself as a hardcore Catholic, but she was also into the occult. She’d vehemently deny it, lol, but she was big into astrology, numerology, omens & portents (superstitions), lucky charms/amulets, divination, folk cures, etc. She was Italian/Sicilian & I think there may possibly be some “strega” in my lineage. Or maybe all old Italian women are like that, idk. I’ve had a handful of lackluster psychic dreams in my life (about unimportant things) & my grandma said she would have those, as well. I also did a spell with her & an older female relative, once, to cure the malocchio, lol. She would deny this was a spell. Anyway, my grandmother has been the biggest spiritual influence on my life. Unlike my cousins, I was not baptized & my grandma would warn me every time she saw me (which was a lot) that I’d go to Hell if I didn’t get baptized, one day. Pretty much the only info or participation in religion I had in my youth was from my grandma. My parents didn’t practice & asking them questions would result in 2 different answers for me & a loud, angry argument for them. (On one occasion resulting in my mom screaming, “FUCK THE POPE!” lmao. They tried to convert Mom… it didn’t work.) My immediate family didn’t go to church (we never even had a Bible in our house until I was a teenager), except for when Grandma would make us on Christmas Eve & Easter. Grandma’s house was a shrine of Catholic decorations. Besides the ever present giant Bible & images of the Pope, Jesus, & Mary everywhere, she had a little personal shrine set up & favored St. Francis of Assisi & St. Anthony (images of them around, too). She’d do novenas with candles which seem like spells, to me. I took the occult info/practices pretty much on par with the Christian ones.
Ok, this is getting long, sorry! I was a Wiccan for most of my teenage years & a Buddhist for about a minute (though I’m drawing closer to it, again). Dad was fine with me having a permanent 9’ circle in the basement for rituals; Mom thought I was conjuring Satan. (I never tried that.) I have experience with ghosts, shadow people, & possibly demons. I was a kick-ass Tarot reader for years, but never charged for my services. Had many come to my house for readings. Did a somewhat scientific experiment with my Tarot readings & found my accuracy rate was about 85% (or something like that), which my most used deck. Unfortunately burned that deck during one of my fear-based lapses back into Christianity. I’m on the fence between general Christian & Agnostic, again. I do believe spiritual beings exist & magick works, I’m just chafing at all the horribly abusive & contradictory BS of Christianity & wondering again if it is just something designed to control the masses or the Judeo-Christian God is real & powerful, but a giant asshole. :
Anyway, after a near-death experience I had about 8 years ago, I’ve been trying to get a handle on what I believe, again. Desperately trying to understand what happened with that & who the beings are that were there. It was terrifying. I’ll write about it in another post, in a more appropriate place.
Recently, I’ve been consumed with watching a certain YouTube channel where this guy in Maine has a lot of spiritual activity in his house. He went from not being a believer to chatting with ghosts & possibly a demon. They already tried to kill him, once. His home used to be the mortuary/funeral home for his small town. It appears the undertaker may have been a murderer. The ghosts told him they were buried in his basement. He dug down there & found human-looking bones. He has full names for many of the ghosts & looked up their history in the town records & it’s really fascinating. Many of us in his Facebook group have been trying to help him, cause he knew nothing at the start & does some dangerous things. I fear he’s going to get dead or possessed. (Oh yeah, I was possessed as a teen, btw.) The demon already admitted it forced a previous tenant to commit suicide & that ghost is still there. It’s really enthralling.
So, mostly, I just want to learn & chat & hang out on here, if that’s alright.
and funnily enough I too am around middle aged and secretly bi. In my years of travels in seeking when moving away from jewdaism, christianity too 
Reminds me of that Gloria Steinem quote, “The truth will set you free – but first it will piss you off.”
Color me impressed!
I also haven’t read in years & it seems I have to do readings for awhile with each new deck before they start getting really accurate (& some decks just never “clicked” for lack of a better word with me). If I end up getting a deck & getting good with it, again, I will give you a reading.
. Loving your vibes. I’m happy you get it (me). Thanks for going so thorough through my post it means alot :).
;and sometimes it can even arouse fear among other things … but in the longhaul the key is not to have fear… but thats another jouney in itself 
