Hello, hopefully I can call this home

Hello, my name is Aliona, Ailo for short.
I feel so alone and really don’t find anywhere to talk about or even feel like i can exist if its “non-human” related. Hopefully I can just find company and be myself here. I’m far to cautious to really tell you about myself cause it usually gets me in trouble or I just lose people.
Very desperately I hope people here are kind understanding and have an open mind.
- your truly, Miss Mourningstar

4 Likes

Hi!

What got you interested in magick, and what kinds of things do you practice? :smiley:

1 Like

Well actually, I grew up in a family where Magick was moreso just a part of life and I was taught of alot of broad Paganism. As far as practicing goes its been as long as i can remember, especially just Innate ability. I can open every, I guess Chakra or gate whatever you want to call it that you can like flipping a switch.

Welcome to the forum! :slight_smile:

1 Like

Thanks :blush:

Do you also practice divination?

Not typically divination, unfortunately the downside to being Clairvoyant for me is that it kinda messes with my abilities to read or see events without it just coming naturally. To me its like looking in a mirror trying to see the reflection of a different mirror.

I have like, uncontrollable energy manipulation or like just sheer innate ability to see things coming or sometimes i accidentally hear glimpses of what people are thinking. Alot of times people don’t want to hang around me too long cause i just drain them without even doing anything which also can kinda suck cause if im away from people to long i just get like weak and Shakey. Honestly I dont know what to do about it, I actually come from a pretty high key witchy place we even got a college to study the arts at but everyone who can help me just wants money.

Hmm sounds like you’re a natural energy vampire. That is usually due to immense damage to the energy body, so you have to get energy from others since you cannot naturally produce enough you sustain yourself. Hmm I guess energy work to heal yourself can help a lot here and maybe fix the issue permanently with enough work, but I have some more suggestions for you.
Maybe @anon48079295 can give more guidance on energy work applied here.

When you said about your desire for friendship, I immediately thought of the Olympic Spirit of Venus, Hagith. He can bring you friends but I realise now one of his powers is to bring people to you who can help you with anything specific, so you should ask him to bring someone to you who can help you to heal yourself. I recommend the book Master Works of Chaos Magick by Adam Blackthorne for working with him. It’s also a useful book to have for any magician.

Archangel Raphael may also be able to heal you, but Archangel Metatron also comes to mind but I’m not too sure why, perhaps he can heal the energy body. Archangels of Magick by Damon Brand has good rituals for working with all the Archangels.

Hmm quite strange this, so you can’t control your clairvoyant abilities? Things like Tarot generally can be used in conjunction with that.

I swear ive tried everything, Its hard to get a read on tarot, pendulums swing everywhere violently (which trust me, is very disheartening when you cant even steady it before you start), ive tried scrying, pretty much anything you can think of :T
What I have learned is that if i meditate or lay in calm water with no distractions i can see stuff like it just flows but i cant point in any direction or control any part of it. Its like Im just seeing scraps from different stories, sometimes my own but I guess more than not, usually its others I know, sometimes its people im gonna meet. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Also, I was not expecting to just bring all this up, guess I’ve been just dying to tell someone and didn’t even know it.
Im straight up floundering here :sweat_smile:

Hmm tell me what do you do before you shuffle the cards?

I think I now what you mean about the “seeing” during meditation. I get something like that when I’m thinking about something while lying down and beginning to fall asleep. In that state I begin to see many things since it’s that semi-dream state, but there’s been notable times where I’ve gotten a vision that was the answer to what I was thinking about, or times where I’ve woken up but right before consciousness everything would just go black and a symbol would appear. I’ve woke up like that to seeing 3 tarot cards before (before I even knew Tarot) that gave guidance on my life at that moment. So I understand if you can’t control it, since meditation tends to push us into that semi-asleep state as well.

Im very fond of shuffling in 6 piles laying one card down then the next card in the next pile to the right in a circle pattern and the 6th pile is in the middle then i repeat then depending i either stack all of them together or I take one pile then shuffle it into the rest till there is no more piles, the “facing up cards and facing down cards” usually end up either way its a pretty nice way to know that all of them wont be the same direction but also, I haven’t tried again in a couple years now. I’ve done three card spreads before and even up to a 8 card spread.

I also just have to add, even if just subjects like this or something else or whatever. Its really nice to have someone to actually talk to.

I meant before you shuffle, but that is interesting, I like your shuffling style, quite elaborate. But if you just ask the question and go straight to shuffling or picking the cards, or without even focusing on the question, that is probably the issue. To do any divination of this sort, first you need to reach a state of mental emptiness. Sit with your cards in your hands, close your eyes and focus on sounds or on your breathing like in mediation, try to remove all your emotions and just focus on your breathing. Once you’ve reached a state of emotional clearness begin repeating the question in your mind and shuffle the cards. Focus fully on the question and just keep on repeating it. After a few shuffles you can end it and begin laying out the cards.

Always here to talk if you want :slight_smile:

Hello. Welcome to the forum. I’m energy vampire myself and empathetic.

I have learned how to control my energy through grounding myself and building walls around myself. I control my energy. I am not bother by anyone. I block them all out. Or let someone in, if I so please. Other than my spiritual husband. Even with him I can block out.

I hate to tell you this. You have to do this every day and work on it. Good news is only takes a few seconds or a couple of minutes each day. It’s just part of my life now.

Thank you! :smile:

Also, thank you, sorry i fell asleep

1 Like

Welcome

1 Like

Hello, may I know where are you from? Please tell me about paganism in your family, I’m interested to know. I’m from Russia myself, so maybe we have something in common. Even though, I’m not a paganist.

@Antaeon
This post is 2 years old so it’s unlikely you will get a response as the person hasn’t been active on here in a couple years

1 Like