Have you ever

Been in a state where you dont care, dont give a crap, feel nothing, any longer, except for fulfilling your word?

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Occasionally, though I rarely give my word, so no need to worry about keeping it

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I disagree. Keeping my word is really the only thing I really care about anymore.

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Wasn’t saying that as advice. I care very much about keeping my word when I choose to give it. I’m just an antisocial loner so I rarely do

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Being a misanthrope is really the way forward.

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Yup

And the more I ascend, the more antisocial I become because:

  • I care less about the general population because they are all programmed by the media to care only about being a consumer and following the latest celebrity gossip and other vapid, shallow bullshit

  • I care less about relationships and the idea that I NEED to be in a relationship to be happy (the most important relationship you have is with YOURSELF anyways)

  • I’m too busy trying to get to that 5th dimensional existence that I don’t bother with the traditional 3rd dimensional trappings

  • People tend to suck anyways (except you folks - but then we’re not ‘people’ here, we’re GODS so doesn’t apply to any of you)

As the great Chris Rock once said: ‘Women cannot go backwards in lifestyle’ and after seeing a life of magick and wonders, whyyy would I ever want to go back to or care about all the mundane bullshit I left behind?

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Suffering from the same issue… a fish out of the water…

Just feel this now …

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Exactly!

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Love yourself time honey. Do things that make you happy.

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The more I ascend the more and more depolarized I become. The more depolarized I become the less I can associate myself with and socialize with others. Embrace being alone for a good period of time for sure. You just stop caring about the crap that they feel is important in life. But we are aware now, we know they are being controlled by their ego, not controlling their own mind. We are becoming free as they continue to dwell in their gerbil wheel.

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Well, at least a couple of us are on the same page about life.

Just done. Angels and demons don’t give a crap, so now that the past is wasted I’ll have to take care of mundane or whatnot myself.

Dude - It takes time… I have been working on one issue for over 3 years. And very seriously this last year.

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Now I understand the meaning of the yo-yo when I read you on the power sensing topic.

Every other week, you bounce from hopeful optimism with your workings to a crushing, “it’s not working” doubt. I wonder how you can break this cycle. It seems like a mood disorder; however, I’m not a psychiatrist/psychologist. So, I do not have the expertise to diagnose.

Life has been particularly harsh to you as of late as well. It’s like everything is falling apart for you. My advice may be horrible; however, I will say this: it’s okay to hit rock bottom, if you haven’t already reached it, of course. The total purging of your life is sometimes needed for growth. Forging through flame.

There was a period in my life where it seemed the demons left me; however, I had a deep sense. It was meant for me to grow on my own. Kind of like when a baby bird has to learn how to fly for the first time. The parents can’t help, the baby bird has to have the strength to figure it out on their own and allow their instincts to take over.

The demons would check in every now and then, but not interfere with the process too greatly. A few years and they started interacting with me normally again. I discovered my own power and energy from the black flame inside. That infernal/demonic power was always with me. It was just time for me to discover it on my own and work with it, as I said, baby bird. It was difficult not having the intense contact with them; I yearned for their presence and missed it so.

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I have gone through this several times along life. It sucks. The lesson I’ve learned is that I have to be practical, to search for practical results. That’s why I’m more into practical magic. I’m done with complicated theories and rituals. I need to survive, to pay lots of bills to keep life going.

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For several times my gods abandoned me. I was alone, for myself, as they didn’t give a crap about me or my efforts. Maybe it’s some sort of tide, up and down… I don’t know, I just know I need to survive. :confused:

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@HermDemon, as I have Borderline Personality Disorder/Manic Depression, yes, the yoyo makes perfect sense, Stress affects that as well as my epilepsy.
Ive already dropped the questioning I had on my past, as Im already past rock bottom, and quite frankly no longer give a fuck about the past. The past was precisely why I thought about Goetia in the first place, but apparently that will take more time to work on than I have at my disposal in mundane life as of now.

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Thanks @damia2hell … I just am apathetic toward it all right now. Doesnt mean I wont work on anything, just not reliance or neediness toward spirits. quite frankly I should have had clairvoyance and clairaudience before thinking about spirits, ironically enough. Its like Helen Keller trying to get going with Goetia,

Thanks @kiss-lamia-lilith.