Hello all. I’m asking this question because of a specific situation I am in at the moment (ongoing for about 2.5 years now, and hoping to get some insight/help. Here’s the back story:
I “met” this man online. We began to develop some kind of online friendship. However, my intuition kept telling me to stay away from him. He gave off extremely strong Hitler/bitter/angry/superior vibes. Even though I had no idea what he looked like - I picked up on that energy. Fast forward a few months… I STILL do not like him, but something kept pulling me to reply anyway… I still had not known what he looked like, but eventually we exchanged pictures. And for those of you wondering if I might just be “infatuated” - no, he was not my type at all. Not that I have a “physical criteria” , but if I did - he certainly would not fit it. His energy is also quite disturbing.
The next day I was sick, I couldn’t sleep, and all of a sudden I’m wanting to have his babies and marry him. I’m obsessing over him, thinking about spending the rest of my life with him. And this came out of nowhere, he’s never once flirted with me, never discussed a prospective relationship - nothing… We finally met up and I found myself trying to get rid of him, because I knew something was off, but I didn’t believe in magick at the time, so I just brushed it off as him being my “twin flame”. Eventually, it got to the point where I felt suicidal and felt as if I could not live without him. I felt like he was controlling my entire life through mind control or something, because everything I wanted to do - I wanted to run it by him. I was never this way before. Never suicidal, especially over some douche, or would ask “permission” from people to do something as simple as wanting to go out, or eat a certain dish, or ask if I could CALL MY OWN MOM. The other thing that threw me off was his racist vibes. He’s German, and I’m Asian and definitely look the part… I’ve passed for some other unexpected ethnicities (Spanish, Greek, Sicilian, Indian etc). This is an important part for later on in the post. I know for a fact he is racist. Because every time I was around him, I was picking up on some racist thoughts like “I wish she were blonde/wish she’d bleach her skin/what will my parents think??” But when I would leave - I wouldn’t feel insecure about my own ethnicity/colour of my hair etc…
There was a time where I had finally gotten away from this control freak (although his control tactics were very passive in nature), and I felt as if some strong force was pulling me back. Even when I wanted to see other men after I gottten rid of him, I still felt like I was “cheating” on him, I’d crying and become suicidal over him once again. It stopped for a while, and I managed to get rid of him by lying about me being a relationship - but now it’s beginning to start again. For some odd reason, he’s always doing this stuff from March - Oktober. His persistence really bothers me. We have not been in contact for 7 months - which I intend to keep that way. He’s actually the reason why I began this practice, because I see how effective it is, so I wanted to put this kind of practice for productive purposes. But unfortunately, I still feel it. I even have visions of him doing rituals and all that. A lot of times I feel like his spirit is here… watching me. Even as I type this…
Many of my friends picked up that work was being done on me, particularly by him. Even before I told them something was off. Sorry that was a lot longer than expected. Does anyone have any similar experiences, any tips on making this man leave me alone for good?? Or any ideas on what work he’s actually doing on me - a specific ritual?
Just wanted to add, some ideas on why he may have done this to me. I feel like it’s because a) I rejected him, and possibly ruined any chances of him being in a real relationship. b) I’m “non committal” and there are some conquerer types, who like to see if they could make the “cold” person commit/fall in love. I get the feeling he’s that type.
I appreciate all answers and feedback - thank you