Hardcore healing

NOTE:This disclosure is for fair warning in the FWB group, as well as a general request for help detailing my problems.

I have to be really honest with all of you, despite the seeming success of my magickal practice, a huge portion of knowledge comes from experience, and making mistakes. Often times, I made many mistakes people told me not to, but they often could not tell me why. Well I learned why and came to be the wiser for it.

I also have had a long and strange career as a baneful magician, and I’ve done this to a point where it’s left a horrible taste in my mouth, and I do it mostly out of necessity now. This has lead me to some strange places, because I have seen a lot of fights, and I have been there for a lot of crap on the astral. I have even acquired scars during ritual that I have tried very hard to heal away.

I can tell you that being a gifted attacker is really only half the game, because the truth is you need to know how to defend and heal yourself. I am no stranger to madness and occult injury, this is a most unfortunate fact that has come to me, and although I consider myself a great healer, that’s simply because I’ve lived to tell the tale in some cases, the same can not always be said for others.

Ironically I recently posted about the time I died, and I will clarify this whole incident occurred because I was engaged in warfare with a group that was particularly powerful at the time and most of my group who regularly raped everyone’s faces, pretty much had to cower and hide because someone took the copyright on pdfs in a private internet library too fucking seriously. In one case a fellow Administrator had to bail out of moving car because it was on fire, to survive. One individual on the community, suffered a fucking lightning strike on his computer, a phenomenon that has recurred at least once already (and you people say it never strikes twice!). All of us had the same shit in our houses explode…In the same month. These are the experiences we shared, It was incredibly grueling, because I also had to loose the partner I was intending to marry, and I was powerless to watch my life crumble around me. A lot of my friends died or got put away for a long time, in asylums or prisons, if they didn’t become homeless addicts roaming the street. It was an incredibly painful and dark period of my life, where I resorted to a lot of hard drugs to deal with physical and emotional pain I was constantly dealing with.

In one case where I felt this was happening, my best friend in real life tried to kill me with black magick, and to protect myself from him, I turned him into one of those homeless drug addicts, by taking away all of his power to do anything with magick, and his ability to manipulate people and harm them, which I felt he was using to skate on by in life. You might think that’s harsh, but my family and I gave him thousands of dollars and a place to live, and he blew it all on drugs and disrespected me and my family, to our faces.

He should be lucky I let him live, and if he wanted to die, he should have gone ahead and offed himself. He claimed to have lived by a code of honor, however, this seems to have been a code of bullshit to him.

This incident has been particularly painful, because it feels like whenever I’ve made progress in my life and I’m doing well, something comes and it’s like I go through a very painful reset in my life JUST like that moment in ways that make me question if I’m really even making progress or if this is all an illusion. And I don’t know if I’m cursed, but I feel I have major obstacles moving forward, I have a lot to do in the future, and I need to restore my health, I would like healing, specifically against the emotional stresses, and occult injuries I’ve endured. I need to get back on track with my life.

I’m also trying to recover from a strange injury I suffered when in a fight with my now ex partner, when she became physically possessed and grabbed me and managed to lift me up with one arm, by my neck, and give me some strange bruise, sickness, and bouts of anxiety.
(This person was prone to getting physically violent with me at the end of our relationship, and I believe this is at least part of the reason why).

If anyone wants to help, because coming tomorrow, I think I am going to be put on a healing list on the FWB group. And I want everyone to know why I’m even doing that, and just what I’m asking to fix in detail…Here it is.

I’m not a big fan of going around in public asking people to heal me, but if you possess any ability and skill and want to help me with my problem or problems…

I’d ask that you do whatever healing comes naturally to you, or if you work with an entity to do this…

I’d ask that you work with Archangel Raphael to do some major healing on me.

He will most probably become your friend for the month too if you are part of the project.

I really want to move forward with my life, and I appreciate your help, and taking your time to listen to my problems and maybe do something.

Thank You For Your Time,
-Frater Apotheosis

I volunteer to to a reading on your behalf Frater A. I will see if there is anything/one the healers need to watch out for.

You have given me a lot of amazing advice and I am down to help anyway I can.

I can’t do a reading (my divination sucks pretty hard except for the rare times it doesn’t, don’t want to have a potential screw up), but anything I can do for you: upping your guards until you’re healed, taking care of “the trash” so to speak, shielding against negativity and curses…

You’ve done a boat load for me and anything I can do for you, I will (with your go-ahead).

I actually have an idea, but I’d need to know if you had any idea what was possessing your ex-partner. I’ve heard of mages shattering other’s souls with blows, bringing them into physical decline, but if something managed to take your partner over and do that to you, then it merits investigation on your behalf.

You have my full attention.

Of course Frater you were the first person above anyone else to even put a request in anything. I think it was only you in the requests, but i’m not too sure.

[quote=“Orismen, post:2, topic:2924”]I volunteer to to a reading on your behalf Frater A. I will see if there is anything/one the healers need to watch out for.

You have given me a lot of amazing advice and I am down to help anyway I can.[/quote]

Thank You VERY MUCH!!!

I have been going through a period of my life that has been a perpetual dark night of the soul for a long time, and in my recent bit of absence on the forum, I wondered if my writings really meant anything to anyone, or if they were the ramblings of a washed up sorcerer. I withdrew from posting at all, and wondered what use it was. And in the time that I came back I have been more than pleasantly surprised to see that what I’ve written here has actually has been useful to a lot of you, and I’m glad that it has. I’m getting a good amount of private messages from my posts when I make good ones, sometimes I get several. Thank you for your help.

Thank you everyone for supporting me.

This was pleasantly shocking, because this is something that means a lot to me, and without this kind of support and praise from what I really consider to be the best group of freelance magicians I have yet to find on the international stage…I don’t know if I could take my own ambitions seriously. The stakes here are particularly high, because most of you are pretty discerning when it comes to “truth” and where your gnosis has lead you in particular. It feels downright intimidating being a part of all of this sometimes, and I’m glad to see that what I’ve done has been so helpful to some of the members here, and that it tied in so well to what you all have done.

I have kept a lot of secrets in my time, and as I open up about some of them, I’m finding that most of you all have come to similar conclusions on most of this stuff, regardless of what your historical background and education. That’s what makes this place so special in my opinion. That’s why I come here, and that’s why THIS is where I come to work on my problems, and is a community I find more special than words can convey.

I’m humbled to be a part of something so big and important, BALG represents something very different to me, and I’m honored that I can be considered a contributing part of it as well. We’ve already turned this into something very special, but I like where this could be going.

Thank You For Your Time,
-Frater Apotheosis

Count me in Frater A, you’ve always been a great help to the community and I WANT TO DO THIS FOR YOU. I’ll do some looking and see what’s what. I’ll do my best to see if Raphael can help you out. Keep an eye on your inbox, I’ll be sending you a rune reading shortly my friend.

Best of luck

I was planning on working with Raphael anyway pretty soon, I’m In.

Please count me in to do what I can, because your posts are awesome and part of the reason I de-lurked here and started joining in, which led to me paying attention to this website and learning and experiencing a lot of awesome things and new directions.

I’d like to do some shamanic-style healing because it’s the mode I’ve found to be the most powerful (especially for distance healing), and I’ll PM you in the next few days with the results.

I’d be glad to help you with healing.

Edit: check your email too, there is something I want to remind you of.