Forgive this of it’s a bit rambling and chaotic. I have rewritten it a few times and continue to move things around and add or take out sections to try and make things make sense. This is the best thing I came up with.
I have not worked with demons of the Goetia before. This is my first attempt at any such contact. I have limited freedom to practice, so on a whim really yesterday during my lunch break at work I went to my car with the sigil of Glasya Labolas, turned on a recording of his enn, and chanted along until I felt comfortable with it, then stopped the recording snd continued on my own, while looking at the sigil.
I noticed that even with my glasses on parts on the sigil seemed to fade in and out. Also around this time I thought I felt the energy around me change just a little. After a few more minutes I simply started talking. I thanked him for coming, and sort of just talked. Told him what my deepest wish was. Ask for his help and promised a more “complete” ritual soon. The I asked him to go in peace and said goodbye. The whole time I felt odd. Hard to describe. My hands were a bit shaky and everything felt different.
I get out of the car and start to walk back into my office and I felt like I wanted to dance, excited and loved. The sun was scorching hot and it felt wonderful.
My logical brain keeps asking me was any of that real or simply my own wishful imagination. I didn’t hear or see anything. I even closed my eyes and tried to see a shape or form and there was nothing. Everything I experienced could be explained away pretty easily.
In past rituals I was able to feel an almost tangible energy. But that was with a totally different set of entities, and ones I was very familiar working with.
I suppose I really want this to work. I need this to work. Because I want it so badly I am afraid I will “invent” an experience. I don’t think I really have a question now that everything is written. I guess I am just sharing what happened and looking to see if others may have had something similar.
Thank you for reading.