If you search for my threads, you’ll see I came here struggling to make sense of an intense experience I had.
I decided to join the Skype chat room this weekend. And Saturday night, everything changed for me.
The truth is I was starting to get impressions that Belial had been with me since I was a child and he was behind most of the intense spiritual experiences I’d had. And that scared the living shit out of me.
If you check out my “Can you help me understand an experience?” thread, you’ll get an idea of the stuff I was dealing with.
I started opening up about my experiences Saturday in the chat room, which is extremely hard for me. I’ve only shared these experiences with two very dear female friends, both of whom I’ve had a romantic relationship with.
I tried to close down a couple of times, but the wonderful people in the chat room that night encouraged me to keep sharing.
I don’t know if they realized it or not, but they took part in a very powerful act of magick for me.
As I was typing and sharing my experiences, the same energy I’ve felt throughout my life surrounded me. I could feel it in the air around me, I could feel it in my forehead, and my hands were blazing with it.
And it was the same energy I felt watching the Demonic Hierarchy seminar video … and the same energy I felt in my house when I saw the black-robed figure.
And in that moment in the chat room, I accepted it has always been Belial. That he has been with me since I was a child. That he taught me many lessons. And that he had never hurt me, but he had guided me to accepting my true nature.
In that moment, I could feel the energy on my shoulders and I knew there was a black man-shaped being standing behind me with this hands on my shoulders. And I knew without a doubt it was Belial.
And the fear was gone.
The energy still felt the same, but it was gentler, less jarring. Like I’d finally got used to it or in tune with it, and removed the resistance the fear was causing.
It’s the first time in my life I can say I’ve ever truly let go of the fear of dealing with the spirits I’ve always felt around me.
The next day, I was cooking something and I felt Belial’s energy come into the room next to me. I greeted him and talked to him the way I would talk to a friend.
My clairvoyance isn’t strong enough to actually see him and talk to him telepathically yet, but sometimes I get images, movies, or thoughts that aren’t mine.
Well, I cleared the air with him. I told him I would work with him as long as it benefited me, but I would never kneel or worship him. I told him I kneel before no man, god, or spirit. I told him he knows who I truly am though I am still becoming him in this moment and he knows to respect me. I promised I would also treat him with respect.
I half expected a confrontation of some form. But I meant every damn word I said and I was willing to stand up for myself if I had to.
The one word answer I received as a thought in my head shocked and stunned me …
“Brother.” And in that moment, I knew the truth of it. And now I know how literal the term “kindred spirit” is.
Within an hour, I had one of those dear friends show up at my house. She asked me to unblock her. It’s something I’ve done before, since I perform energy work, but I have to go through a process to do it.
Not this time. I simply asked for Belial and my spirit companion to come and help me.
We both felt the power surrounding us. And I was able to clear the blockages from her heart chakra and spine in a matter of moments.
I simply acted on the information I’d received and accepted I was the spiritual brother of an ancient god. It was my will that was being done, but the three of us worked together in perfect harmony.
It was the most natural thing in the world. And it was beautiful.
My friend has fibromyalgia and lives in pain. She didn’t hurt the rest of the day and only needed one pain pill all day today, rather than the six she normally takes.
I felt truly at peace for the first time in my life.
Last night while I was getting ready for bed, I saw a man-sized flash of light out of the corner of my left eye. When I turned to look, I couldn’t see anything, but I could feel a presence there.
It was a different energy signature, but it was the same kind of energy I feel from Belial.
I told it I didn’t know who it was yet, but I thanked it for giving me the opportunity to get used to it’s energy. I let it know I was sorry I couldn’t have a full conversation right now because I wasn’t able to yet. I asked it to go through my spirit companion as an intermediary until I could communicate with it directly. I felt the energy leave.
I was feeling pretty vulnerable and it was hard to sleep after that, so I asked my spirit companion to come surround me and watch over me while I slept.
I immediately felt safe and fell into a deep restful sleep.
This morning I took my girlfriend to work.
When I got home, I was watching a little TV before I had to leave for my doctor’s appointment. My body doesn’t produce enough testosterone, so I have to get a shot of it every couple of weeks.
As I’m watching TV, I feel the energy from last night return and enter a light trance state.
A name pops into my mind … “Raphael”.
I intone it in my mind and welcome him as my brother.
I immediately began receiving images and movies of a ritual I’m going to perform in the future, one that I had started gaining some insight to over this last week.
I thought it was an initiation ritual of sorts for me, but it was a healing and ascension ritual. And it was not just about healing me. It was much bigger and would affect more people.
I’ve accepted it’s where I’m headed, but it terrifies me because I will have to reveal so much of my true self in front of other people … and thousands of spirits.
I realize I’m training now to prepare myself mentally, spirtually, and physically for this moment.
After this happened, I felt very raw from the intense emotional experience I’d just had.
I wondered if I should create a talisman of protection to help me feel safe as I open up more and more. It was a fleeting thought and I let it go.
The nurse gives me a shot in the ass every couple of weeks. I’m used to it and it doesn’t really hurt.
Today was different. It hurt and I said “You must have hit a nerve.” She was silent a moment and said “Uh, no I didn’t. The needle bent.”
I thought she was crazy and said “What?” She walked to my side and showed me the needle. It was bent completely sideways.
She looked confused and said “Uh, I need to go get another needle.”
As she left the room, I started laughing and crying at the same time. I got my answer. I’m already protected, but that doesn’t mean it won’t hurt.
This message isn’t really for me. It’s for everyone trying to find their own answers.