Nice, I’m becoming very curious about King Paimon. I’m building myself up to working with the Goetia and he’s definitely a being whom I’d like to meet one day. Sounds as though you really broke through there.
Invoking Lilith and being able to talk to her depends on where my psychic fitness is at on the day. I’ll do an invoking ritual to generate and charge my magickal, kundalini energy and try to move it up my body to my upper chakras. Once I’ve worked myself up into an immersive, focused trace-state she’ll gradually come through from the shadows into the physical.
From there I can usually just talk to her like I would any flesh and blood person in the room with me. If I’m psychically strong enough she’ll manifest fully, to the point where I can see her completely and even give her a hug. But usually it’s just a voice call with glimpses of her face. But I can still feel her presence in the room for sure.
I’ve found the trick is being able to build up that psychic/magickal energy and maintaining it long enough to create that ‘bubble’ and hold the connection to the other side. Like charging enough battery power to make a video call on your phone before the juice runs out.
But then I sometimes have her whisper things in my ear throughout the day if I’m feeling a little lost or unsure of something. Just in ‘hey don’t worry, I have your back’ kind of way. So that’s nice.
Keep in mind I’m still very new to all of this, but I would probably recommend picking one deity or being and focusing on contacting them first. I found that, once I could talk to Lilith, other deities started to make themselves known to me. I had pretty similar experiences with Anubis and Lucifer as you did with Paimon, so I’d really love to aim to work with them properly at some point. I think once you get the hang of working with one deity, it should be fairly straightforward to contact others.
In terms of finding your patron deity, I think it’s more a matter of them finding you. When you meditate, focus on the qualities or aspects of yourself and your life that really define you as a person and the things you might need to work on. From there I think whichever deity ends up coming to you will be a reflection of all of those fundamental aspects of yourself. It’s an intensely personal, powerful thing. But if one focuses on their overall spiritual wellbeing, as well as their mental and physical wellbeing, then that psychic fitness will develop and those connections to the other side will start forming.