First thing I want to mention is that NOT every entity are gods or bigass entities like we invoke (or try to).
I witnessed many times with myself and magicians / people around me being tricked by a spirit, whatever its nature.
Sometimes they donāt intentionnally trick you but they donāt explicitely present themselves so you have a manifestation with no clue of who it is so you assume itās a spirit or another depending on the context, and you can be wrong.
Second thing is, your kind of past and environment attracts nasty stuff. Larvaes, just random nasty spirits, or thoughtforms from a sick personality around, etcā¦ And gross stuff attracts more gross stuff. Been there. You may have some stuff with you from your previous environment and parents that growed and remained attached to you.
This is also something to take in consideration in my opinion. You should do a big clean and purification just to clean up the accumulated mess and try to start anew energetically speaking.
If you performed seriously the rituals for Lilith & Namaah there is no reason they didnāt come, BUT you always have to keep in mind my first point : for any kind of incovation/evocation something else can enjoy the door you open and trick you this way, it takes psychic skills to detect the āmasksā everytime and it takes a let go of your expectations. Especially since this whole Koetting current discourages from using circles etcā¦ Circles/manifestation triangles are not necessarily some white wiccan witch bullshit, it is a way to concentrate the energy in a determined area and consecrate it for nothing else than this purpose. It helps with these risks of tricks or big energetic mess all around.
You obviously did mistakes that could have make things turn really really bad as you know ^^. Lilith is a wild brutal spirit especially towards men donāt ever treat her (or any female spirit for that matter) like your girlfriend donāt ever patronize her this is the worst you can do.
10 days is nothing, this is a mistake too. Donāt wait on gods and donāt blame them they abandon you, they are not here to babysit or fill a gap in your life. Be patient, donāt try to give them orders, this is a terrible attitude to have towards gods youāre gonna get in serious trouble if you behave like that.
I enjoy this forum and most of the members but this āyeah evocations are cool just put your hands at work you donāt know anything nevermind start to call dark gods itās gonna be greatā is something I deplore, there is so much more in the occult to discover and learn you donāt have to jump into evocations of such spirits right away like there was nothing else to do in the occult. Evocations take time and preparation and work on oneself, this is not a matter of evil this is a matter of primal energies and brutal ones, this is just a fact, a mistake can cost a lot and whoever denies this power is a fool, or 13 years old, or never actually faced a god. This is not for everyone at anytime.
Anywayā¦ nevermind youāre not gonna die or get your life destroyed but take stuff slower and leave Lilith & Namaah alone for the moment ^^. Donāt call on them again until youāve changed and you can considerate this experience like past, Lilith is fucking pissed calling her again would be asking for great trouble. Let things cool off ^^.
(Sorry Iām not trying to sound harsh or anything I just give my opinions and try to advise, I fully support you and just trying to help and give you the keys I can ! My tone is just honest and compassionate I promise lol).
Now to get back at your trickster. Well I stand on my position that I think it is a spirit you created.
This is not a matter of āacceptingā your past or not, this is something unconscious. This is all the attention you ever had to give and the emotions and the thoughts to one ā¦ hmmm to one āboxā if I may say. The conscious and the unconscious ones.
About all you say he can do, any spirit can do that (read your mind etc) BUT if itās a personal egregore, heāll know you better than yourself, heāll know exactly where to push and so on, heāll be your perfect evil nightmare, heās gonna mirror the worst about your mind you canāt even recognise that this is your own ( just one example of the last visions I had with my second one : it showed me visions of corpses dead from diseases, decomposed, & raped children dead corpses, hundreds of it with sick details like broken tooth or necroses or genital injuries, made me feel lost in a whole world of these corpses, drowning in them, walking on them, crunching their bones etcā¦).
The manifestations like touching you an be constantly with you and can strongly manifest whenever it wants depends on the strength of the link you have with him. And nothing is more linked to you than a personal egregore. And it wants to torture you. And they are a hell to banish :ā)
And yes youāre right, donāt ever doubt the power of the mind especially trauma and heavy emotions.
I started to work with my first egregore like sheās a real ādemonā, with a full ritual of invocation, offerings etcā¦ because she demonstrated a huge power and possessed me a few times and my experience with her makes me thing that she is not less than a demon you evoke / invoke.
So I would suggest to try another approach with your trickster, I know itās hard and these things are fucking nasty but try to see it as a part of yourself, donāt fear it, try to understand it. This is what I do for each of mine.
Or just start the work with Kali directly sheāll give you whatever you need to fix this, or maybe will destroy it if it has no place around you. Sheās a good call really ^^.