God doesn’t hate you, Adhi. Learn to pray from the heart, and I see that you are standing in your own way by thinking that being interested in Magick while also willing to remain faithful in your Faith is not right or faisible.
There is nothing wrong in what you are doing. You are digging deep within yourself and making use of the innate capabilities which every single human being is endowed with and is entitled to develop further by right!
So, as you pray, stop questioning, and then blaming yourself for not being a good person for wanting to be a powerful Magician. Be at one with your God.Iidentify with Him/Her as a deity that always wishes you well, loves you as you love yourself and would never reject you or turn their back on you, in the same way you’d never do that to yourself. It is as easy as that. Then pray and see how your God will open His heavens for you.
Allow your God, to love you and help you. Do not impede him by thinking that your aspirations are wrong, because they are not. They are very normal.
You seek Magick because you are en enlightened Soul, you do not accept to just run along like a sheep within a herd, and that’s what sets you apart from all those people who frequent the Temple with you, but are not interested and do not practice Magick.
Be proud of it, do not feel ashamed of it. Allow your mind to think along the lines I have given you here, and be a co-creator with your God. He/She has the powers to help, and to help you help yourself; it is only you that stands in His/Her way!