Hey, tonights is a full moon. I dont know much about that besides the fact that I feel some energy. That full moons are special. And that I had a “vision” yesterday of a full moon and so today I found out if was going to be a full moon and took that vision as a sign.
I dont know what it is a sign for, has to be more than just letting me know theres a full moon today. I also have the impluse to do something because of the full moon. I wish I knew exactly what.
Im pretty new and dont know much about magick. But today I feel that I wanna learn, to connect. So I did something.
I made a circle outside in the sunlight out of leaves. symbolic of nature and eternity and all that. I then for some reason happened to find natural quartz buried in the dirt in the little creek. So I put them on the outside of the circles. There a 5 but I didnt know how to place them. All of a sudden I get the feeling that maybe I can make that into a pentagram or something. Yeah, thats what ill do.
I dont really know what im about to do. I dont know if its safe. I just imagine that tonight even though I c ant even see the full moon because of the clouds and lightning. That ill sit in that circle. I dont know what im supposed too do, or ask for. If im looking to connect with my higher conciousness. i dont know. Maybe ill meditate to the sounds and feel the energy.
My mom is the most negative person I know, but to make things short im in a bad bad mood like always and I can never seem to escape her energy. It makes me wanna scream and maybe even cry and any other emotion that has me feeling “uggghhh:( >:O ahhhh!!!” <-- like that.
I need answers. I just dont know what the questions I want answers too even are. Maybe im looking for questions so I can have something to want an answer too.
I have the urge to do this. Im pretty scared. Its dark where I live, Im gonna be sitting in a circle trying to channel something and I dont even know what that is. I dont wanna not know what im chanelling, maybe its better to ask for something specific. Like nature entities. Trees? Fairies?
Theres this reptillian hybrid I know of. Theres this star mantra i was given if I want to connect with him. I think thats what ill do, because he is benevolent and I know ill be getting lots of love energy. Plus I dreamed of connecting with him last night now that I think about it.
Idk, I just wanna be on the safe side. Is what im doing even legit? Or is that a poorly conducted bootleg little ritual im doing?
Are there any tips or thougths on this? To make things safer or maybe even someone I can connect with.
Thanks for reading my little diary. Sorry about that vent but I feel that I had to let it out.
But since its over im wondering what do you guys usually do for a full moon? Do you have plans tonight? Is a full moon really even “all that”.
Alright then, I guess ill get some last minute things prepared. Hope my mom doesnt catch me doing this lol, its hard believing what I believe in my fundamentally christian family. My mom was really conviced I was demon possesed for writing down dreams lol. I can only wonder what she would think. Oh well.
But I feel like things will go good with this, even if they go bad. I feel like when my time to die or something big like that comes it will happen. But until then im kind of safe from harm or whatever because of that.
But yeah. sorry for this long confusing jumble of venting and questions. Hopefully its at least interesting to read.