Fuego's Journal

Yes, but unfortunately it’s quite inevitable.

Awakening?

Sorry … was talking to myself. I dont understand your points?

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Nothing to apologize for, I was asking if you had an awakening.

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One could say so.

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The thing is, I dont care if it was God, the Devil, or the corporate world and shit grinning smug people with antisocial personality disorder that murdered the old me. It wasnt me, and its not on my conscience here and in the ever after.

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Im formulating a few goals:
0. To be employed and pay rent dquarely and on time without being broke afterward.

  1. To be more proactive and thoroughly detailed with effective time management.
  2. To be physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually mature and healthy.
  3. To be wealthy and put money to good positive use outside myself, while taking care of myself.
  4. To be spiritually and physically and mentally clean, focused, skilled, and loving
  5. To be in control of my own time, to never be late or absent for anything.

These are all I can think of atm that would be helpful everywhere in my life.

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Reading the Golden Dawn and the Complete Golden Dawn Initiate, to get a sense of Planetary and Zodiacal magic, in order to lessen Saturns influence on Taurus in my seventh house, and to invoke Venus and Jupiter, perhaps Ace of Wands and Ace of Pentacles as well to bust open employment and wealth. Due to subjective synthesis, and the structure of GD initiations, I want tarot cards to represent the outcome of the ritual, even though the reason those cards are used in GD ritual initiations is because logically they represent open paths due to the grade of the candidate kaballistically.

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Tarot Reading, Split Hexagram Spread (General/Unconscious)
Greater Spiritual Influence: XX Judgement - Elemental Fire
Lesser Spiritual Influence - X Wheel of Fortune - Jupiter
Spiritual Advice - I The Magician - Mercury
Unconscious Desires: XII The Hanged Man - Elemental Water
Conscious Desires - IV The Emperor - Aries
Practical Advice - XVI The Tower - Mars
Final Outcome: XIII Death - Scorpio

Top of Deck: III The Empress - Venus
Bottom - VI The Lovers - Gemini

Interpretation kept in private.

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Afternoon and morning adorations made.

Some human interaction in society.

Some computer work done.

Now, a meditation on Tav:
Behold, someone wrapped in only a banner of Chesed, twirling doube power wands in each hane, nude and free, as if the race was one and carrying the banner unbroken. A woman in the womb, perhaps a portal to Yesod, Gabriel> The four creature watch and write later, as this is just one of many paths to Chesed. The wheel, the wreath, the womb, the portal, the point.

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LIBER RESH VEL HELlOS
At Dawn, face East. Make the Sign of the Enterer and say:
Hail unto Thee whoart Rain Thy rising, Even unto Thee who art Ra in Thy strength,
Who travelest over the Heavens in Thy bark At the Uprising of the Sun.
Tahuti standeth in His splendor at the prow And Ra-Hoor abideth at the helm.
Hail unto Thee from the Abodes of Night!
Give the Sign of Silence and stamp the left foot on the ground.
At Noon, face South. Give the same gestures as before.
Hail unto Thee whoart Hathor in Thy triumphing, Even unto Thee who art Hathor in Thy beauty,
Who travelest over the Heavens in Thy bark At the mid-course of the Sun.
Tahuti standeth in His splendor at the prow And Ra-Hoor abideth at the helm.
Hail unto Thee from the Abodes of Morning!
Give the Sign of Silence.
At Sunset, face West.Give the same ritual gestures as before.
Hail unto Thee who art Tum in Thy setting, Even unto Thee who art Tum in Thy joy,
Who travelest over the Heavens in Thy bark At the down-going of the Sun.
Tahuti standeth in His splendor at the prow And Ra-Hoor abideth at the helm.
Hail unto Thee from the Abodes of Day!
Give the Sign of Silence.
At Midnight or when retiring, face North. Give the same gestures as before.
Hail unto Thee who art Khephera in Thy hiding, Even unto Thee who art Khephera in Thy silence,
Who travelest over the Heavens in Thy bark At the Midnight Hour of theSun.
Tahuti standeth in His splendor at the prow And Ra-Hoor abideth at the helm.
Hail unto Thee from the Abodes of Evening!
Give the Sign of Silence.

THE LESSER BANISHING RITUAL OF THE PENTAGRAM (LBRP)
Stand and face East. Perform the Qabalistic Cross.
Facing East, use the index finger of the right hand, a dagger, or the black end of the
Outer Wand of Double Power to trace a large banishing pentagram of Earth.
Thrust the dagger/wand tip or index finger through the center of the pentagram and
vibrate “YHVH.” (Yode-Heh-Vav-Heh), (Keep the right arm extended throughout;
never let it drop. The pentagrams should be visualized in either a flaming blue or
brilliant white Light.)
Turn to the South and trace the same pentagram there. Charge the figure as before,
intoning “ADONA/” (Ahdoh-nye).
Turn to the West and trace the pentagram. Charge it with “EHEIEH” (Eh-hey-yay).
Turn to the North and draw the pentagram, intoning “AGLA” (Ah-gah-lah). Keep the arm extended.
Turn to face the East. Extend both arms out in the form of a cross and say,
“Before me RAPHAEL” (Rah-fahy-el). Visualize before you the great Archangel of Air rising out
of the clouds in flowing yellow and violet robes, carrying a Caduceus Wand.
Behind you visualize another figure and say “Behind me GABRIEL” (Gah-bree-el).
See the Archangel stepping out of the sea like the goddess Venus, dressed in robes
of blue and orange, with cup in hand.See to your right another figure in flaming red and green
robes carrying a sword.
Say “On my righthand MICHAEL” (Mee-ehai-el). See another great Archangel at your left, who rises
up from the vegetation of the Earth in robes of citrine, olive, russet, and black, holding stems
of ripened wheat.
Say, “On my lefthandURfEL” (Ur-ee-el).
(Say:) “For about me flames the pentagram, and in the column shines the Six-rayed Star.”
Repeat the Qabalistic Cross.

Uses of the Pentagram Ritual
This simple yet powerful cleansing ritual can be used as a protection against the impure magnetism
of others. It is also a way to rid oneself of obsessing or disturbing thoughts. Give a mental image
to your particular thought or disturbance and visualize it before you. Project it out of your aura
with the Saluting Sign of a Neophyte, and when it is away from you, prevent its return with the Sign
of Silence. Then imagine the form in the East and perform the LBRP. See the form dissolving on the
outside of your ring of flaming pentagrams.
The LBRP can be used as an exercise in concentration. While seated or lying down, formulate yourself
standing up in robes and holding a dagger. Place your consciousness in this astral form and go to the
East. Make yourself “feel” there by touching the wall, opening your eyes, stamping on the floor, etc.
Let your astral form perform the ritual, circumambulating the room and mentally vibrating the words.
Finish in the East and try to see your results astrally, then walk back and stand behind your physical
body and let your astral body be re-absorbed. The LBRPis to be performed daily for no less than a period
of six months.
In fact, it should be practiced daily regardless of one’s grade. The Golden Dawn manuscripts advocated
doing the invoking form of this ritual in the morning and the banishing form at night. However we feel
that the Neophyte needs to concentrate solely on the banishing form, since s/he has a tendency to light
up on the astral and unknowingly attract all manner of Elementals at this early stage of the Work.
It is far more important for the Neophyte to know how to banish rather than to invoke. Anyone can attract
an Elemental or an energy. Getting rid of the same can be more difficult.
This, along with the LRP, is to be done daily with all diligence. Some salutary results may follow.
ADORATION TO THE LORD OFTHE UNIVERSE
Face East and say, “Holy art Thou, Lord of the Universe!” Give the Projection Sign.
Say, “Holy art Thou, whom Nature hath not formed!” Give the Projection Sign.
Say, “Holy art Thou, the Vast and the Mighty One!” Give the Projection Sign.
Say, “Lord of the Light, and of the Darkness!” Give the Sign of Silence.
(Note: This affirmation should be done daily.)

Tarot Work

A general reading - Celtic Cross
Significator - XI Justice
Covers - IX Hermit
Crosses - XIV Temperance
Crowns - XX Judgement
Beneath - XIX - Sun
Behind – II High Priestess
Before - XII Hanged Man
Querent - XVI Tower
Environment XVII - Star
Hopes and Fears - III Empress
Final Outcome - 0 Fool

Top of deck - XXI World

Green Paper. Keys X and XIX laid, touching, next to each other at an angle on the green paper flat.
A gold cup and saucer(pentacle) holds a lit white candle dressed with apple-cinnamon oil, knife touches tarot keys, cup and saucer. Cup holds gold and silver coins, money added while chanting at least nine times each, at ninth flame sparks moves and leaps and stands tall.

“Money come to me
Money come to me
Money come to me
Money come to me quick”

As coins are added chanted nine times minimum…
“Money multiply
Money multiply
Money multiply quick
money come to me quick”

Stated to Orobas that I need 5000 within a week, cash payable to me, and public praise and thanks in exchange.
Drew copy of Orobas’s seal best I could. Placed on alter next to cup.

Ways 5000 can be brought to me in meditation on it
A friend pays me back 1/2 of what I gave him
It is pulled from dormant money accounts belonging to me
Banks refund me for fees
Collections settle out of court for rent
I get a job immediately that pays this weekly
Employers pay me back and rollover IRA 401k accounts into one and withdraw

Listening to:

Tarot Meditation - XIX The Sun

Three heads, up to seven faces, the Sun, the boy (Lucifer?), the Horse, the four sunflowers visible.
The boy has seven golden flowers in his hair, the sunflowers and the sun are orange, orange and yellow rays and blue to purple sky, indicating Hod->Tiphareth->Chesed. Colors of sun and sky are very much Hod, and there is general wellness indicated by the card. The head which is not a head, resh, is the face of the sun. It is all that is wonderful and relief and joy and abundance.

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Tmw you understand Mars better due to the polarity or Billy Squiers “Learn How To Live”, and Tupacs “Grab My Strap”.
Now for some Short Dog…

LIBER RESH VEL HELlOS

At Dawn, face East. Make the Sign of the Enterer and say:
Hail unto Thee whoart Rain Thy rising, Even unto Thee who art Ra in Thy strength,
Who travelest over the Heavens in Thy bark At the Uprising of the Sun.
Tahuti standeth in His splendor at the prow And Ra-Hoor abideth at the helm.
Hail unto Thee from the Abodes of Night!
Give the Sign of Silence and stamp the left foot on the ground.
At Noon, face South. Give the same gestures as before.
Hail unto Thee whoart Hathor in Thy triumphing, Even unto Thee who art Hathor in Thy beauty,
Who travelest over the Heavens in Thy bark At the mid-course of the Sun.
Tahuti standeth in His splendor at the prow And Ra-Hoor abideth at the helm.
Hail unto Thee from the Abodes of Morning!
Give the Sign of Silence.
At Sunset, face West.Give the same ritual gestures as before.
Hail unto Thee who art Tum in Thy setting, Even unto Thee who art Tum in Thy joy,
Who travelest over the Heavens in Thy bark At the down-going of the Sun.
Tahuti standeth in His splendor at the prow And Ra-Hoor abideth at the helm.
Hail unto Thee from the Abodes of Day!
Give the Sign of Silence.
At Midnight or when retiring, face North. Give the same gestures as before.
Hail unto Thee who art Khephera in Thy hiding, Even unto Thee who art Khephera in Thy silence,
Who travelest over the Heavens in Thy bark At the Midnight Hour of theSun.
Tahuti standeth in His splendor at the prow And Ra-Hoor abideth at the helm.
Hail unto Thee from the Abodes of Evening!
Give the Sign of Silence.

THE LESSER BANISHING RITUAL OF THE PENTAGRAM (LBRP)

Stand and face East. Perform the Qabalistic Cross.
Facing East, use the index finger of the right hand, a dagger, or the black end of the
Outer Wand of Double Power to trace a large banishing pentagram of Earth.
Thrust the dagger/wand tip or index finger through the center of the pentagram and
vibrate “YHVH.” (Yode-Heh-Vav-Heh), (Keep the right arm extended throughout;
never let it drop. The pentagrams should be visualized in either a flaming blue or
brilliant white Light.)
Turn to the South and trace the same pentagram there. Charge the figure as before,
intoning “ADONA/” (Ahdoh-nye).
Turn to the West and trace the pentagram. Charge it with “EHEIEH” (Eh-hey-yay).
Turn to the North and draw the pentagram, intoning “AGLA” (Ah-gah-lah). Keep the arm extended.
Turn to face the East. Extend both arms out in the form of a cross and say,
“Before me RAPHAEL” (Rah-fahy-el). Visualize before you the great Archangel of Air rising out
of the clouds in flowing yellow and violet robes, carrying a Caduceus Wand.
Behind you visualize another figure and say “Behind me GABRIEL” (Gah-bree-el).
See the Archangel stepping out of the sea like the goddess Venus, dressed in robes
of blue and orange, with cup in hand.See to your right another figure in flaming red and green
robes carrying a sword.
Say “On my righthand MICHAEL” (Mee-ehai-el). See another great Archangel at your left, who rises
up from the vegetation of the Earth in robes of citrine, olive, russet, and black, holding stems
of ripened wheat.
Say, “On my lefthandURfEL” (Ur-ee-el).
(Say:) “For about me flames the pentagram, and in the column shines the Six-rayed Star.”
Repeat the Qabalistic Cross.

Uses of the Pentagram Ritual

This simple yet powerful cleansing ritual can be used as a protection against the impure magnetism
of others. It is also a way to rid oneself of obsessing or disturbing thoughts. Give a mental image
to your particular thought or disturbance and visualize it before you. Project it out of your aura
with the Saluting Sign of a Neophyte, and when it is away from you, prevent its return with the Sign
of Silence. Then imagine the form in the East and perform the LBRP. See the form dissolving on the
outside of your ring of flaming pentagrams.
The LBRP can be used as an exercise in concentration. While seated or lying down, formulate yourself
standing up in robes and holding a dagger. Place your consciousness in this astral form and go to the
East. Make yourself “feel” there by touching the wall, opening your eyes, stamping on the floor, etc.
Let your astral form perform the ritual, circumambulating the room and mentally vibrating the words.
Finish in the East and try to see your results astrally, then walk back and stand behind your physical
body and let your astral body be re-absorbed. The LBRPis to be performed daily for no less than a period of six to twelve months.
In fact, it should be practiced daily regardless of one’s grade. The Golden Dawn manuscripts advocated doing the invoking form of this ritual in the morning and the banishing form at night. However we feel that the Neophyte needs to concentrate solely on the banishing form, since s/he has a tendency to light up on the astral and unknowingly attract all manner of Elementals at this early stage of the Work. It is far more important for the Neophyte to know how to banish rather than to invoke. Anyone can attract an Elemental or an energy. Getting rid of the same can be more difficult.
This, along with the LRP, is to be done daily with all diligence. Some salutary results may follow.

ADORATION TO THE LORD OFTHE UNIVERSE

Face East and say, “Holy art Thou, Lord of the Universe!” Give the Projection Sign.
Say, “Holy art Thou, whom Nature hath not formed!” Give the Projection Sign.
Say, “Holy art Thou, the Vast and the Mighty One!” Give the Projection Sign.
Say, “Lord of the Light, and of the Darkness!” Give the Sign of Silence.
(Note: This affirmation should be done daily.)

@Fuego flattered that my posts are still helping there bud.

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Invoked Ant’Harratu with a petition to help me come up with 5000 within one week.
So adding Orobas to this peitition, I think it will be done.
Added to both that no harm comes to anyone as the source of the money found for me.
And that public praise and thanks in exchange.

And five to ten minutes later get a interview request call for a fast food joint nearby. This is a start. Still holding out for the 5000 cash however.

Mental Notes:

Have an interview tomorrow morning.
What can be done with a Checkers board game? A game of chess where 16 seals are laid on each checker piece, and other seals are available, only kings are one king, and eight lings left should a pawn reach the last square unthreatened. Like enochian chess but with goetia and a one tiered one dimensional board representing assiah-malkuth.

Physical Notes:

Feel energized and restless.

Tarot Readings/Rituals: Tarot Contemplation Ritual (2nd)

XV The Devil
Capricorn, materiality, material bondage, ambition, status, money, investments, luxuries, debt.
Bottom of Deck: 1 The Magician
Let go of taming the lower self and its materiality. Plunge upward as it is possible, resolve debts. Invest in self and future. Saturnian influence.

I do believe the Devil is telling me I need to do the remaining rituals and start a new one, existing ones Body Awareness Ritual, Relaxation Ritual, Middle Pillar (Greek, Hebrew and Celtic); Invoke all five pentagrams; with the LRH as the six rayed star within. Use tool free magic to do so.
Concentrate on psychic awareness as well.
Concentrate on occult things.
This might be what my body, mind and the tarot key is telling me.