Fuego's Journal

I guess now its time to do secret stuff, since I have 90 minutes of the day left.

Really though, now to go do super sekrit special stuff.

34 min meditation with King Purson while giving the offering.
Many ideas came to mind to follow through on.
Many requests given … which will in itself as the matter be a minor miracle.

Items noted.
Now for a few meditations.

Meditation - Seven day observe mental chatter challenge - Day 4, 4-17-2018

Breathing meditation with thought awareness - DONE

Location: Living room.

Environment: Slightly noisy (pets, roommates, television, video game, dryer.

Posture: Sitting on living room sofa, feet flat on floor, back arched back, hands resting comfortably on legs/knees, eyes closed, chin down, nostril breathing. Classic godform position minus straight back posture.

Time: 5 minutes.

Distractions:
Awareness of several external noise
Thoughts on financial situation and hopes
Thoughts on forum
Awareness of/Thoughts on clothes in dryer
Awareness of/Thoughts on time
Thoughts on angels and demons

Breathing: in silent out silent.
DONE

Current tabs open for reading:























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Nice!

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Yeah … still trying to reach an adept level within five months. Started it back in October and it just seemed to flatline for three months. So I push on. Starting in May, in and out of earth element. June, in and out of air element, July, in and out of water element. August, in and out of fire element. September, in and out of spirit element, October, on track, review and reimmerse.

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And the test for a week of offerings is at hand.

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Remember, brother. Adept is a state of mind. Don’t put a time limit to it. All that is going to do is add stress which will cause you to self sabotage your work. You’ll be so worried about getting it to work that it won’t. Let go. Let go of time. Let the stress melt away. THAT is when you will see. When things will happen. Don’t impose limits.

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Not a good day today at all.
Going back where I just came from possibly. Hopefully not, but I’m not figging this situation or that one for that matter.

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Wednesday, Apr 18, 2018

Dreams: None recalled.

Physical Notes: Teeth hurt. Muscles ache a bit. Tired.

Mental Notes: Been feeling the kickout coming. Brought to the door today. Might have a job, open interview went better than expected. Offering to Purson will be day 7.
Synchronicities: Open interview 180, have a second interview coming.

Readings: NONE

Psychic Exercises: NOT DONE.
Tarot readings. NOT DONE.
Object Sensing exercises. NOT DONE.

Evocations - NOT DONE.

Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - NOT DONE
Breathing - DONE -Seven day observe mental chatter challenge - Day 5, 4-18-2018
Location: Outside deck lawn chair.
Environment: Slightly noisy.
Posture: Feet flat on floor, arms comfortable on armrests. Eyes closed. Chin up.
Time: 4 minutes.
Distractions:
Jobs.
The argument.
What I want to do vs what I’m good at.
Cannabis.
That would people will continue to consider me as a failure.
Breathing: in silent out silent.
DONE

Visualizations - NOT DONE
Rituals: NONE

Wards- NOT DONE.

Shields - NOT DONE.
Groundings - NOT DONE

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And offering incense has gone out.

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Well, how many more ways could I have fucked up…doesn’t matter since I did. So going back to Michigan it looks like.

Thursday, Apr 19, 2018

Dreams: None recalled.

Physical Notes: Teeth hurt. Muscles ache a bit. Tired. Side about muscles are tight or slightly sprained, as the wrong movement makes them randomly tighten up with immense pain. Need to consistently, obsessively brush my teeth until by some miracle I have money to get them fixed before they get worse. Need to lose a few pounds.

Mental Notes: I fuck up everything, how many people get a free ride, not use it to their advantage, but abuse it? My old Golden Dawn teacher berated me about using magic, telling me I’m a danger to myself and others due to my magic incompetence, and that I need to drop magic and get into therapy instead; and that I will probably ignore his advice as usual. Well, therapy doesn’t solve everything either, not to mention its something that you need money or insurance for, of which I have neither. How else will some learn magic if they’re never taken in and seriously taught what it is and how to use it, other then trial and error? If these Maguses could come down from their ivory towers or mount abiagnus or where ever the hell their head is, and observe the system and the human condition, then they might realize how little they know as well. Well, so I fucked up … And have nowhere to return to. And no money. And no insurance because I moved. So now I have to scramble and play both sides because the deadline comes soon. I just have yo open my big fat pie hole and fuck everything up. I realized today that I don’t know anything, I fuck up on whatever I touch, and that I am responsible for absolutely everything that went wrong. The devil didn’t do it, I scapegoated the devil on absolutely every matter gone wrong in my life. My HGA is also punished for every fuckup I’ve ever done in my life. Meanwhile some suspense and mystery loving asshole holds the sword of Damocles above my head. Just fucking tell me already, mr know it all. Just gucking tell me so that I can make informed decisions in the direction of wisdom.

Readings: Tools for Ancient Scrying and Modern Seership. by Ted Andrews.

Psychic Exercises: NOT DONE.
Tarot readings. NOT DONE.
Object Sensing exercises. NOT DONE.

Evocations - NOT DONE.

Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - NOT DONE

Breathing - NOT DONE -Seven day observe mental chatter challenge - Day 6, 4-19-2018
Location: Outside deck lawn chair.
Environment: Slightly noisy.
Posture: Feet flat on floor, arms comfortable on armrests. Eyes closed. Chin up.
Time: minutes.
Distractions:

Breathing: in silent out silent.

Visualizations - NOT DONE

Rituals: NONE

Wards- NOT DONE.
Shields - NOT DONE.
Groundings - NOT DONE
Day 8 offering to King Purson, poured my mind and heart out to him.

Friday, Apr 20, 2018

Dreams: None recalled.

Physical Notes: none to note.

Mental Notes: none important.

Readings: NONE

Psychic Exercises: NOT DONE.
Tarot readings. NOT DONE.
Object Sensing exercises. NOT DONE.

Evocations - NOT DONE.

Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - NOT DONE

Breathing - NOT DONE -Seven day observe mental chatter challenge - Day 7, 4-20-2018
Location: Outside deck lawn chair.
Environment: Slightly noisy.
Posture: Feet flat on floor, arms comfortable on armrests. Eyes closed. Chin up.
Time: minutes.
Distractions:

Breathing: in silent out silent.

Visualizations - NOT DONE

Rituals: NONE
Wards- NOT DONE.
Shields - NOT DONE.
Groundings - NOT DONE
Day 9 No offering to King Purson

Saturday, Apr 21, 2018

Dreams: None recalled.

Physical Notes: none to note.

Mental Notes: none important.

Readings: NONE

Psychic Exercises: NOT DONE.
Tarot readings. NOT DONE.
Object Sensing exercises. NOT DONE.

Evocations - NOT DONE.

Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - NOT DONE

Breathing - NOT DONE -Seven day observe mental chatter challenge - Day 8, 4-21-2018
Location: Outside deck lawn chair.
Environment: Slightly noisy.
Posture: Feet flat on floor, arms comfortable on armrests. Eyes closed. Chin up.
Time: minutes.
Distractions:

Breathing: in silent out silent.

Visualizations - NOT DONE
Rituals: NONE
Wards- NOT DONE.
Shields - NOT DONE.
Groundings - NOT DONE
Day 10 No offering to King Purson

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