Sept. 26 2019
It has been 3 days since I participated in the Sept. 23 group ritual. I feel more grounded and open since. I also feel a stronger family type connection to the Gatekeepers and feel them more solidly now. It is a strong sense of kinship.
The world looks different to me as well. The lighting of day and night seems brighter and cleaner and the general everyday vibes seem different as well. I felt this the next morning and everything looks more holographic than normal. Almost like being unplugged and plugged back into the matrix of reality yet I feel seperate from this reality as well.
I am going to begin a 3 day ritual from the compendium of Lucifer-Amaymon starting on the 28th. I also need to evoke him still and chat a bit. I am still facing procrastination and am now trying to catch up on what should have been done several months ago.
I am also in a battle against myself. I have done this in the past twice now and each time I have improved myself. The last faceoff with myself worked to remove my self hatred and overwhelming anger. This new one is to take back control of my thoughts fully and shutdown my ocd. It is hard to focus when a constant voice is telling you to do this and that or when chanting or ritual work decides to focus on those you care about and create negative scenes while chanting seperately from yourself. (For those confused, try chanting something simple to increase energy like the itz rachu chant but as you focus and chant a seperate voice interferes and starts focusing on harming a loved one with a seperate chant or even plain english.)
I seem to be either under attack by jci influence or something from that system is creeping in. I have customers pray for me because my name is in their book. Now everywhere I look or go I am surrounded by it and it is most annoying. Especially since it has become harder to focus than usual. Could be me though just being annoyed lol
Anywho, I have a family situation to take care of but not sure how to proceed. I haven’t asked anyone yet but I am leaning towards a binding or servitor to influence said person. There is verbal abuse against children and sometimes it gets physical with both a dog and human child but not to the point of legal intervention.(though technically it is still abuse and pissing me off) If it wasn’t for my sister needing to grow from this which isn’t happening and being pregnant I would split them up. However I will only stand idle for so long.