Please note: I am very new to the practice and unable to offer advice or communicate with any spirits on anyone’s behalf.
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I asked Belial about influencing a certain gentleman into coming back to me. I used automatic writing to communicate with him:
Belial: Are you sure?
Me: Yes.
Belial: You will be stuck with him.
Me: Yes
Belial: You will stay together for stars and sea.
Me: I know.
Then it turned to jibberish, in the common pattern of noise that my automatic writing usually takes on:
neooneooneooneneooone etc.
In the past, Glasya-Labolas has referred to me as “the star” through automatic writing, and has also made reference to “for stars and sea”.
Why am I The Star? What is “for stars and sea” in reference to me?
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I cannot get over this gentleman. He has a new girlfriend now. I was upset over learning this. I yelled at various entities. I threw an absolute temper tantrum. I cried and demanded the spirits show me their presence by moving a rubber figurine I had on my shelf.
Nothing happened. I went to bed angry. I took off my pendant of Glasya-Labolas’ sigil and stuffed it in my jewellery box.
Three days passed and I realized that I was being immature, that this new woman is a part of the plan and irrelevant at the same time, that I have asked the spirits for growth, and that growth may involve this woman somehow. I am starting to see her as a positive.
I put the sigil back on and apologized.
“You are a child with a crayon trying to create a masterpiece.”
“I know.”
“You can’t draw a rainbow with one red crayon.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You are just a baby.”
I have been having an incredibly strange sensation when lying in bed lately. It feels like I am on a yo-yo string, being bounced up and down extremely rapidly. It goes away when I sit up, and I can control it somewhat by concentrating on it. It does seem to be connected to sleep, but mostly to the early hours of the morning more than anything as I don’t need to be sleeping to experience it.
This has been happening since last Sunday. On this day, I evoked Alloces and asked him to bind several people from being able to speak negatively about me.
That is the only thing I did different on that day.
I’ve been directing so much energy and magick towards one topic that King Paimon basically told me to give it a rest already.
Now I’m trying so hard not to lust for results that I keep checking in with myself to see if I’m lusting for results or not. I’m lusting for not lusting for results.
I am consistently kind to a fault. I let people walk all over me.
Maybe this is why Glasya-Labolas chose to work with me.
I need to be more ruthless. I will get nowhere having such an overactive conscience. I will get nowhere being nice to the people who hurt me, the people who destroyed me, the people who deserve my darkest side.
And King Paimon has shown me what I needed to see.
What became of the man I gave 12 years of my life to.
He has all the money, cocaine and hookers he could ever possibly want.
Meanwhile, I’m alone in the cold.
No more! I am a LIVING FUCKING GOD. I deserve so much better than this. I will not be treated like this.
I will take everything I want because I deserve it all.
Every time I start to doubt, something big happens.
Glasya-Labolas is a fucking champion. If you need to ruin someone, call on him.
I’ve got a nickname for my target, and it is Ringbone. Ringbone is a dirty, nasty, racist, cold, calculating rapist who has directly and indirectly fucked with many people that I love.
Ringbone is in trouble.
One day I’ll reveal what I did, but not until after he’s dead.
Glasya-Labolas said, through my pendulum, that my friends are going to split up.
He (A) loves her (B). She does not love him. She is going to break up with him.
I am… upset. I am angry with her. I saw this coming when I first found out that she was dating him, but fuck, she let it last two years and this is going to destroy him. He moved across the continent for her.
My irrational thoughts: “I always knew she was mean!”
My rational thoughts: “Other peoples’ relationships don’t work out because YOU think they should.”
My petty feelings: “He started a fight with me and my ex and now he’s going to go away forever and neither of us will have to see his smug-ass face again.”
My sentimental feelings: “Yeah but you two both love his smug-ass face.”
But I still haven’t gotten love yet and I am acting like a spoilt brat about it.
I know it can take a long time, especially with how I asked for it, but I’m frustrated that I’m not getting a single crumb of evidence that anything is actually happening.
Everything else is working, so why can’t I trust that this is working?
Perhaps my intense feelings are only that of an autistic woman with an obsessive crush on a deeply flawed, mentally ill man who is incapable of wanting me or anyone else.
Perhaps the signs have been simply a symptom of erotomania.
Oh damn. The person I cursed had a tumor. I am not saying where in his body it is because that might just reveal his identity. It’s non-cancerous, but he still needs to have it removed and surgery is just yet another opportunity for suffering.
On getting things I want, and not realizing the price.
My ex has an incredibly deep, intense relationship with his best friend. They are truly the closest friends I’ve ever met.
I asked my ex how they became so close, and all he could really tell me was that it was “fucking hard”.
I asked Duke Sallos for a friend like that, and I got one.
And this is the most intense relationship of my life, way more intense than any romatic relationship I’ve ever had.
And it mirrors both the early progression of, and the ups and downs of my ex’s best friend relationship. The ups are really up, and the downs are really down.
I think I just wanted the good parts of their relationship. I am definitely going to work through the difficulties with my friend, because the outcome is worth it. Our friendship is still growing.
Kind of trivial, but I figured I’d post this here.
I have a snake that was born with a hole in his belly and his heart on the outside of his body and needed stitches. The stitches were in place for two months. For the first two weeks, I had to keep him in a tiny deli container with moist paper towel. My brother was insisting that he wouldn’t remember that experience because he was roo young. I thought he would because reptiles are born fully developed.
I pulled two cards for, “What does (snake) remember from the beginning of his life?”
magick is an incredible tool huh?