First Journal Entry (and post)

So I have noticed the difference within myself in the last few months. Before this I admittedly had no confidence, I couldn’t project what I needed to say and my nerves was shot. I’m naturally a very nervous and anxious person and even one on one conversations depending on their context can send me into a spiral of panicking and stammering, which as a 28 year old woman can be a pain in the ass. My knowledge has vastly expanded on topics that I had little to no knowledge in thanks to my mentorship I begun end of last year. People around me began noticing differences, my posture was straighter, I walked with purpose and stopped hesitating on what needed to be said for fear of the consequences. Slowly I was becoming a new person in a sense, mentally I was changing for the better. Yet there was still something holding me back and it was sadly the friendship group I had, I had clung to it for a while as these people was the only friends I physically met with who had some understanding in a sense of my path yet didn’t judge me for it. When a massive argument broke out, I tested my theory of going dark, retreating and not doing all the messaging first. Which showed what I needed. I instead opted to put out into the universe to find friendship of people who I could physically meet, who meshed well with me and could obviously get along with (sounds silly to some but to me I needed atleast one friend🙃) and noticed I was closer to one particular person, she would contact more often, we would go out for a drink more frequently and our children would interact more. I invited her into my home, which is a big thing for myself as I never like people in my home. I watched her reactions in my home and how she would be in regards to one of my altar areas which has various items, she noticed my smallest item in a bowl, the I-Ching coins which I will offer to Lucifuge as exchanges, how nice they looked and I took a bigger leap by offering her one of my bracelets with one on that I had finished putting my intent and such on. She’s not yet taken it off due to the increase in good fortune she’s having wearing it. Which seemed to take care of the last thing holding me back, something as small as friendships. With this in mind I begin to work harder at what is asked of me, using a physical journal to record all my learnings, recently I have started learning on Sacred Geometry whilst I dive in deeper to understand also The Hermetic Principles as some of them I grasp but can’t give examples on how to apply them in life mundanely or spiritually. However my recent confidence isn’t just my own to give thanks to, it is also with thanks to Glas’yos, whenever I have called upon since being recommended to work with him I can feel that warmth that envelops around me and makes my mind clearer and sharper, makes my nerves melt away and shows what I can do.
I opted to share it here in a way of release maybe? To show small changes can lead for the better? I don’t know. I am unsure if anyone will even read my strange journal ramblings but if so hello :upside_down_face: