I wanted to record what happened and what I saw in following my first few shamanic journeys to meet a spirit guide.
I got the amazing guide from @Lady_Eva (thank you very much again) on core shamanism but because I have trouble with “getting in the zone” and progressing trough with journeys (I linger at certain steps very often and get sidetracked) I tried a guided meditation.
The video I used ill link below. If my decision to use this video was good or a failure I do not know yet. If it is a failure I guess I will need to search for ways to do it like desrcibed in the tutorial sent to me without getting dragged down by these experiences. But now to what I experienced:
- First try. I layed down and relaxed listening to the drums and the voice. After a while I felt my heartbeat syncing with the beat and electricity run through my whole body.
After a while I also felt a slight pressure between my eyes but I tried to concentrate on the drums. The forest described was like a european one with autumn leaves scattered on the floor the trees were lush like in spring on the other hand. There was enough space around every tree and it was not to packed.
On the left side ran a clear river. I kind of shifted to a clearing in form of a half-moon and the trees got packed tighter on the other side so I could not get or see past them. In the center of the other side stood a thick tree with its branches high above all other trees.
It was like 2-3 times taller then everyting around it. The roots where thick and branched of before digging into the earth. On the right side was an opening shaped like a door leading down. The way was paved with grey stones and wound straight down only to slightly bend to the right getting tighter spiraling clockwise into the earth.
I got to a clearing that was a mirror to the one above only that there was no river to my right and a still pond was to my left. The trees where really thin and high like no tree would be because normally they would just break in to shaped like that. There were no branches but red collored crowns shaped like small clouds.
The base was covered in a kind of fog or darkness but i did not feel anything threatening or something like that. It was just very hard seeing things there. At this point the voice in the video talks about not everyone being able to see or hear their guides and going on about making negative experiences there.
I normally am hard to make angry or hatefull but I felt an indescribable primal rage flaring up. I literally imageinged ripping his throut out to silence him. It was hard for me to calm down but after he talks about just beeing there i intentionally calmed myself and let it be.
After looking around I found that I was not alone on this clearing anymore. I sat on a small stone looking around and there was like a waling path between the trees that had not been there but I felt like it was not for me to step on to. I saw a pitch black stag with his head and horns held low (kind of threatening pose).
I did not feel fear or something like that though. I remembered what was written in the tutorial and asked it if it was my spirit guide. It just shook its head like a stag wanting to battle. I kind of thought that it might be something else because I kind of wanted my spirit animal to be a stag.
I asked if it was my desires and direktly after it just shattered into mirror like fragments and I felt like i actively did that somehow. Then I saw a flash like vision of a big black dog running through a forest.
Shortly after the drums got faster and I left a bit unsatisfied.
I have repeated the session a bit more and will post what changed after this. Here is the link to the video I used: