Felt Sick

I feel i’m so close to getting my succubus to appear.I started seeing the edges of the frame of my mirror turn black then half of the whole think go black.At the point i started seeing mist is when i started feeling sick.I tried ignoring it and continuing but i couldn’t because i felt like throwing up and ended the ritual.I had to hold myself up against my dresser drawer to get my bearings and suspect i she was using the energy raised to start the beginnings of her appearance.Either i’m getting better at this or i’m completely missing something.Eh i gotta learn one way or another.

Working with energy can really mess with you physically. Even an adept magician, if he or she suddenly starts doing more ritual than usual in any given month they too can find themselves sick. I just went thru the same thing. Was doing was some majorly heavy ritual and energy work to the point I was even staying awake for 41 hours at a time and it finally caught up to me this month.

This past week I was so tired, sore muscles, massive headaches and even a cough developed I had to force myself to rest but I’m feeling great again after doing some healing work on myself. But seriously, take care not to overdo yourself when it comes to magick. You really have no idea what kind of physical effects it can have on your body if you don’t take those warnings seriously. Even E.A. looks like shit right now because of all of the magick he’s been doing for hire and for his own practices. I can tell by looking at him he’s physically exhausted and magickally over worked.

Yeah thanks for the advice.Up to this point i’ve been staying in my comfort zone not really pushing my limits but i just had to this time to see where i’m at magically,and now that i know i can work on those weaknesses.I’m also working on my first six chakras to balance them out since i haven’t done any in over a year and know they’re way out of whack.One for each day of the week and rest on the seventh,and with that i’ll be off into the shadows to spend some time with my succubi and off to bed for the night.

I had no energy all day yesterday after doing some intense stuff with the eclipse, it happens, and bear in mind I’ve been doing this 25 years! :slight_smile:

It can depend on a lot of things, perhaps how physically equipped you are to be working with the forces you are working with. I can say that, personally, when I been working with my roommate, he had way more stamina in his work, and he felt like a millions bucks whereas I could wind up feeling terrible sometimes. Since I started to eat more like he does, and doing some of the Chi Kung he does, I started noticing some of what I was perceiving in him: a feeling of upliftedness and power rather than drain. But what we do with magick relies a lot more on directing power from deep states and empowering ourselves with primordial force. We don’t do much evocation, even though there are entities that are self-realized that we manifest.

So that can be a difference, because I do feel that a lot of magick does not emphasize the need to restructure your life in a manner that allows for the magick to come through unimpeded. A lot of people here seem to (and emphasis on “seem”, because I really don’t know) have lives in which magick is a separate activity from the “outside” world rather than a life current that enlivens our life experience. Moreover, the techniques in much of spiritual practice often involve a “forcing” of an event or power-gathering activity, which I must admit always seemed contrary to what the purpose of things like energy-gathering were about.

I got acquainted with “succubi” through my roommate, and like him, I kinda experienced a lot of weirdness with many of the techniques that were available. The energy was extremely erratic, I was up for hours in the night getting sexually aroused and wrapped with energetic flux, and also went through some weird sickness myself. I’m not saying it was all bad, sometimes things felt amazing, but it was really getting to be quite frustrating because I always felt like I was right on the edge of a breakthrough, but not getting to the breakthrough.

When I started working with this in another way, primarily through personally recorded hypnotic suggestion, ALL of that weirdness went away. Moreover, the manifestation was extremely “human”; it wasn’t incorporeal or whispy like many evocations sound to be. My succubus, or as I learned it, “Mind Doll”, was like having a “real” woman pop up and be interact with you like a real woman. She admittedly does not pull something out of “I Dream of Genie”, just popping up out of thin air. She’ll walk through the door, or come from behind me, or I will hear a noise come from the bathroom, go to the bathroom to find nothing, and find her in my room when I return.

Now for most, this type of thing is only really considered a sexual companion, although many people cannot help but find themselves far more adept with spiritual work because of it. However, if you plant the hypnotic suggestion for the Mind Doll to have certain characteristics and empowering abilities… it works REEEAALLY well. It took me about 2 and a half months to get a full manifestation, but the manifestation is of the quality of ease, non-invasiveness, control, and openness. She has a full-fledged personality, never plays tricks on me, is extremely knowledgeable, and will learn new things if I ask her to try and learn it.

My roommate is a student of the creator of hypnosiserotica.com, and they got a full-on program specifically for this type of interaction. I didn’t have to do it because, with my roommate being a student of the hypnosis courses themselves, he pretty much figured the process out on his own (the site specializes in hypnotic recordings, but has two hypnosis teaching courses for Erotic Hypnosis and Healing Hypnosis through the HS). As he thought, the process was not just for creating sexual experiences, but also something that could be used to construct entities and “spiritual” objects of power.

All this is to say, there are ways to do these things that don’t require the feeling of being overworked. That being said, you probably aren’t doing anything wrong, it’s just something that comes with the territory of the process you are working with and your own internal Matrix. It seems like you are somewhat into it, so what I could possibly suggest is a small fast of about 3 days on water or fresh juice. Generally speaking, this is something that I have seen to be somewhat staple in Eastern traditions that utilize rituals for manifesting power entities of a sexual nature. Try to assess where you are personally, because I am coming from a place where, since getting into magick, I have been eating raw vegan. So that might have a lot to do with why my physiology orients differently with work that is heavily energetic, but the technique I used for manifesting a power entity succubi was completely different than the normal ones, and I can’t even begin to think that standard techniques would’ve manifested such a desirable outcome as the one I got now.

@Lady Eva
And that’s why i love this site because i can talk to magicians with years of experience.I know right now i can’t contribute much except maybe a little about my experience with my succubi,but i’ll be here for a long time to come so long as i don’t do anything stupid and get my ass kicked out.
Yeah my succubi were the ones pushing me to get more heavily involved in magick.I suspect they want more than just a sexual relationship but more of a magick working relationship as well.Would this “Mind Doll” be like creating a form for the succubus to manifest in physically?

[quote=“fc2014, post:6, topic:6352”]@Lady Eva
And that’s why i love this site because i can talk to magicians with years of experience.I know right now i can’t contribute much except maybe a little about my experience with my succubi,but i’ll be here for a long time to come so long as i don’t do anything stupid and get my ass kicked out.
Yeah my succubi were the ones pushing me to get more heavily involved in magick.I suspect they want more than just a sexual relationship but more of a magick working relationship as well.Would this “Mind Doll” be like creating a form for the succubus to manifest in physically?[/quote]

Well I’m not sure what you might be asking. If you mean if the Mind Doll utilizes a physical base such as a man-made doll or another physical base, then no. It’s not like magick entity creations in that sense at all, there is no incense or blood that the Mind Doll manifests through. The Mind Doll process is one that emphasizes rewiring your mind so that the being you want to manifest actually manifests, in your perception, as completely “real”. Whether or not others see it… most often they wouldn’t, although I have seen my roommate’s Mind Doll and could describe her to complete detail even without knowing anything about her. But we are working on a shared stream of perception, so it works out differently for us than some regular Joe on the street.

It’s the same way with normal evocation, most of these tools are anchors for your perception to “allow” a manifestation to take place. If you are evoking Belial in a base of smoke, is it very likely that anyone who is not actively engaged in the ritual will see him? Probably not, but the smoke can give a very good anchor that allows for your perception to accept that he is manifesting. Chances are that Belial is around as soon as you think to manifest him, but without giving yourself a reason for him to come around, then he won’t appear.

So the Mind Doll process kinda bypasses all that, in a sense that it rewires your mind to be able to do that without all the potentially weird stuff. The Mind Doll is very “physical” in a sense that everything you perceive with her is sense as tangibly as if she were a “physical” being. But this is based solely on entrained perception, not any physical manifestation base. That being said, your interaction with her can have very physical consequences, many of which I have already had happen.

I have eaten food she had for me and water/juice/liquor she had, and was full and energetically vibrant. This will probably be the limit of my sharing details, but on Labor Day weekend, I decided to see if I could live solely on stuff she provided me with. So for 3 days, I neither ate nor drank anything that is considered “Earthly”, but only stuff she had. She gave me an “Infinite Water Pouch” that I could “carry” around with me while I was out and about, and if I reached into my pocket and said “Skittle Fruit”, I could pull out an apple-like disc that pretty much tasted like Skittles in apple-form.

What I found was that, like when I drink regular water, I had to pee a decent amount because I drink about a gallon of water a day. What I didn’t really expect was that, like when I drink regular water, my pee would remain clear. Generally speaking, the clearer a person’s pee is, the more hydrated they are. But I was not drinking physical water, I was drinking “imaginary” water.

Nevertheless, my urine was clearer on Day 3 than it was on Day 1, and this was not a hallucination by any means. When my cousin came to visit, who really doesn’t know shit about magick, he was like, “BRRROOO, you drink too much water dude! The toilet doesn’t even look like you pissed in it (he’s somewhat of a super-simpleton, but still good people. But seriously, who analyzes an unflushed toilet bowl??)!!!” I was doing a decent amount of moving around the entire fast, and never once was I fatigued. This is the only dry fast I ever did, but to be honest, all my physical indications pointed to the fact that I was actually “eating” and “drinking”. After experiencing what I did, I can’t really call that period a fast, nor any other period where I didn’t eat Earthly food for the sake of eating “succubi” food.

So yea, this is something that would be based solely on the orientation of your mind. Nevertheless, the consequences can be very physical if allowed to be. But I can’t guarantee it would be like that for everyone.

Huh i think i’ve been doing that Mind Doll without knowing it to rewire my mind.Basically what i’d do is make suggestions to myself like “I can see you” or imagine the details of one of my succubi’s hands when they touch me such as fingers etcetera.So far i’ve seen vibrations in the air and mirages but no clear physical details as of yet.Usually when sitting out in public i get images of them in my mind of them sitting next to me.

Ahhh, this reminds me of something that his hallmarkedly different with the Mind Doll process which can be a critical reason why a lot of the evocation woes are bypassed by it. I got an appointment to attend to, so I won’t write about it now. But I will later.

Ahhh, this reminds me of something that his hallmarkedly different with the Mind Doll process which can be a critical reason why a lot of the evocation woes are bypassed by it. I got an appointment to attend to, so I won’t write about it now. But I will later.[/quote]

So, in re-reading this, I was reminded of a crucial factor in this work that makes it different from a traditional entity structuring and manifestation. You talk about the fact that you are trying to get her to manifest, and one crucial thing is that in traditional methods, the idea is to break the gap between the “spiritual” world and the “physical” world directly. One of the issues with this is that, for at least 90% of people, this route violates the pre-established comfort zone immensely. To have something that doesn’t normally exist on this plane pop up in front of you… even if it is considered a ghostly spirit, this is a great deal to swallow for most minds.

As a result, a great deal of energy and primordial force is normally allocated towards having the person’s internal barriers broken so that this can happen. The problem with this is, well, it takes a decent amount of energy for most people to do this. Even people who have trained their minds quite extensively to perceive primordial forces can have a pretty difficult time with this aspect of evocation because of what it does in challenging the person’s Matrix of reality. Even if it isn’t evocation, some people can react so wildly to primordial phenomena that they go batshit insane.

In the Mind Doll program, this problem is remedied with the Second Phase of the program, which is the Virtual World implementation. The First Phase itself does a great deal to help this already, because it is between 2-4 weeks of mind conditioning that focuses on two things: conditioning the mind to enter deep theta/delta by use of a trigger word, and subliminal messaging that removes personal barriers to the experience of a Mind Doll. This alone probably can decrease the issues of manifestation manifold, but the Second Phase pretty much cements the individual into being able to have this manifestation come across in a simple, easy, and non-invasive and non-exhaustive way.

The Virtual World phase is designed to do 2 things. First, the implementation of Virtual Worlds is designed so that an individual can enter into a full-sensory experience of a different reality at their will. So if you want to go to an alien world of your own design, you set up a script for that particular world with all the facets you would like. Once that is in place, you enter your hypnotic state through the trigger and have that world suggested to you, along with setting up triggers to enter that world at will in an easy, care-free manner.

In doing this, the person’s internal Matrix goes from one that is only centered in this reality to one that readily allows for full-sensory interaction with otherworldly realities. Moreover, this also allows for a permeability of experience in this world, primarily because you have already entered a new world experience from this one. So you don’t need rack you internal Matrix trying to form something that isn’t normally there because you already had it happen. I know that this same purpose is meant for fulfillment with the “astral temple” idea, only the use of the Virtual World process can probably give a far more tangible Astral Temple construct in far less time than what is offered in traditional methods (which I will explain later).

In the context of Mind Dolls/succubi, the Virtual World program not only serves the purpose of re-conditioning the mind to readily accept alternate reality scenarios, it also give a preliminary environment for the Mind Doll to manifest in. Now is this particularly necessary? Probably not, the Virtual World experience itself is probably enough to allow for the manifestation to be accepted in this reality. However, since it is an ample opportunity to give a person acquaintance with their specific Mind Doll, it serves as an added bonus that cements the manifestation of the Mind Doll.

Once all this has happened, then we get to a point where the person is prepped for manifestation in this world. This last process takes no more than a week in my experience, and the result is a manifestation that registers as real as the chair you are sitting in right now. Moreover, since a key factor in this process is the use of triggers to induce the process, you can simply manifest this being, whether in hypnosis or not, through their name, a hand gesture, and/or anything else you wish to trigger the manifestation with. Also, the process to create other Virtual Worlds and Mind Dolls becomes far simpler, to a point where no outside assistance is needed such as a recording or another hypnotist. You could set up a Virtual World with the sole purpose of being a “Command Station” for creating other Virtual Worlds and/or Mind Dolls (or other feats of magick like healing, money-gathering protocols, sexual buffs, energy work, evocation of pre-known entities, etc.,). Again, this is the exact same thing that is can be done with the Astral Temple, and as such the Virtual World is has far more potential than just being a “cool experience”.

One of the reasons I feel this works so well over traditional methods rests in one thing: the conscious mind. Now, the goal of any altered state protocol is to bypass the conscious mind. This is due to the fact that the conscious mind is the filter through which reality experienced. This is why, in a normal sense, people can’t just manifest objects, corporeal or immaterial, to themselves. It’s very helpful, because if it weren’t for that, people would be able to suggest anything to you and it would happen. However, it becomes an obstacle in our work because we are looking to solicit non-normal experiences, and until the parameters are set in place to allow these experiences to come about, the conscious mind will bar them from our perception.

The problem with most self-induced methods is that the person has to consciously engage the technique that they are trying to bypass the conscious with. Again, as I stated early, this involves a lot of energy being pushed through turmoil, and as such many of these experiences are not solicited with a great deal of stability. After becoming associated with the work at hypnosiserotica, I found it a bit bogus that this is not emphasized in a great deal of programs that use guided meditation and hypnosis. Many people try to engage the process consciously as they listen, but I have been taught that the conscious mind, while it can follow along with the words, should not try to instigate anything. The subconscious is the one that is doing all the learning, and as such the conscious mind should just be the observer, not the architect. I’ve applied this passive learning in other guided meditations (I didn’t feel like revers engineering those works since they were already available to me through my roommate), and they worked WAY better than when I tried to learn the techniques consciously.

Now I’m not saying this is the case for everyone, some people can do just as well entering into this work consciously. Both methods require some patience, but it’s just my experience that passive, subconscious learning of these skills works far more completely and far faster than trying it consciously, at least until you get the right triggers. Once you can trigger a particular state, such as theta, delta, or even meeting the HS, you can ask for whatever you want and it will happen. I can’t say it’s that easy with conscious methods, although I’m sure the same potential is there once those states are “triggered” in that process as well.

So these are the things that your relay of your experiences reminded me to point fc2014. Again, I am not trying to tell you what to do, but rather sharing what my experiences have been doing what you are doing, and how I got of some of the hurdles you and many others experience.

Oh no i didn’t take your post as i’m doing something wrong.As a matter of fact i found it quite helpful.It’s given me some ideas on self hypnosis and triggers to goggle on and try out.I also visited the site and read some of the testimonials there and kind of read in between the lines that the deep state of relaxation i get from them is them trying to bypass my conscious mind to manifest more clearly,and i must admit it is working because i’m starting to feel their tongues when kissing.I was thinking of buying the Mind Doll program but damn $227.75.That is just going to have to wait.

Yea hahaha, I completely get you on the price of it all. To be honest, for a program like that, $227.75 is EXTREMELY cheap, but $227 is still $227 haha. That’s why I came up big with my roommate being a student who already purchased the Quantum Healing course, which is where you learn how to do the hypnosis yourself. He got that on sale for like $150, but the skills learned there can apply to any hypnosis venture. So if you are just slightly creative, you can reverse engineer any program for yourself that is offered on the site. My roommate still buys programs because the price is pretty cheap for most of them, and because he doesn’t want to have to reverse engineer everything. But yea, the program is, in a relative sense, extremely cheap for what it offers.

To be honest, the hypnosis is not rocket science, I’m pretty sure you could figure it out. I record my stuff on Audacity, which is completely free recording software that has pretty much everything I need to do it. I have some theta and delta wave binaurals, so I overlay my scripts over those for added help. The problem that I see with hypnosis and magicians, or pretty much anyone else for that matter, is allowing the process to be easy and believing that something that dynamic can arrive easily. Many people will rather overthink, and therefore doubt, whether things are “happening” or not, and can often fail before finishing the First Phase of conditioning.

Most of the people on the site are not magicians, but you still can see them overthinking things massively and perhaps lusting for results. In honesty, 3 months is a VERY short time, but instant gratification can be a son of a bitch. For magicians, we are so overloaded with techniques and the idea of needing to “work hard” that we can possibly sabotage things with that barrier. They are just vehicles, and despite what the technique is, they all have a massive history of success for some and failure for many more.

One thing that I heard from my roommate is that this process can facilitate a need to shape your life up. He told me that his mentor (the owner of the site) told him of persons who did not gain manifestations because portions of their life were screwed up. Being out of shape was a big one, but my roommate was having trouble with hypnosis because he was way too hard on himself, and also boxed in what he wanted to experience from life. Anyone who knows the1gza here might be aware of this, in a sense that he somewhat shunned a great deal of social interaction. While he still is not partying or anything like that, he has a pretty hot girlfriend now, and she has a baby who is bonkers about him. I almost called the kid his stepdaughter, primarily because he is the acting father to that kid right now (even though the birth father is in the picture and they are pretty cool with each other). I’ve known him for 12 years, and I would NEVER think he would accept a situation like that, but he’s killin’ it right now and, if he has diabetes, it’s a pretty distant non-factor (he doesn’t eat a lot, so there hasn’t been much testing of whether the disease still exists. He no longer is affected by it, though, so much so that he considered himself cured even before he was off his medicine).

So getting your life in order might be a necessity for these processes, although that reordering can happen a lot more on an “internal” level rather than “external”. He (my roommate) did not have his own money before his manifestations happened, and his living situation was still one where he lived with his mom. However, he started chilling out A LOT, and started to have a lot more fun just getting relatively “small” victories. He blew those victories up so much that the momentum turned shit around in what seemed like the blink of an eye. He hit me up out of nowhere, and from there it was a wrap. His mom moved in with his brother, his younger brother is in an electrician’s apprenticeship and is on his own thing, and we live together now (his girlfriend still lives in her own apartment, although it might as well be a second residence for them both… and me in many cases haha).

So I could say that one thing that is to considered is what type of transformation you can expect to take place in your life when you embark on something like this. You might just be trying to manifest a succubus, when this process can manifest a new life for you. His process did not involve transformations that were directly linked to Mind Doll manifestation (he was doing other things before Mind Dolls, but also managed to manifest his Mind Dolls in less than a month once he got to it). However, to get to it and other “miraculous” manifestations, he had to get himself in a place where things could work out well for him. I wasn’t in a position where I felt terribly out-of-order, but I did change my diet and experienced WAY better interactions on the “spiritual” level when I did that.

But yea, all that is to say, hypnosis is not rocket science haha.

Self hypnosis is already working.I could actually feel their hands on my chest with some details of fingers.Not every minute detail but it seems very promising.

Been doing some serious scrying today after making a sigil of my succubus’ true name and opening it up.Nothing much happened at first so i gave myself a rest for a few minutes then experimented with photos.I soon found out the trick for me isn’t blinking eyes but keeping them focused on a certain spot and not moving your eyes.So i went back to scrying with the lights on and damn i was surprised by the results. Within minutes my own image blacked out along with this purple mist by the right side of the mirrior,I kept seeing this mist forming into a circle type portal and the lights kept flickering.One thing i noticed is my body tenses up.A weird thing happened too.I saw a dime tails side up and picked it up to keep but slipped out of my hand and disappeared.

Interesting - small metal objects disappearing is on my list of Common Experiences Among Magicians so I’d take it as a good sign you’re making reality a bit, well, bendy… :slight_smile:

Ahhhh then that would explain it and why i was able to see her because i willed it to happen through picture gazing yesterday.If you don’t know what that is its kind of like opening sigils.The first time i tried it red rune symbols appeared and i saw her trying to pull through on the picture i was using with a half circle.The second time i did it i saw her pull through the picture i was using and saw her.It wasn’t what i expected to see.She looked kind of otherworldly but still human.I gotta tell her next time to pull through with her horns though so i can at least see a little of her true form.
The disappearing dime isn’t the only time this happened either.It happened with an appearing penny too in the bathroom sink after i picked up my towel.It was just there all dry and everything.