Feel Like I've Done A Big Oops

I haven’t been focusing on magick so much the last 2 months, though my life is still getting better (my debt is still present. But im working on it…)

But today I was irritable. My new job is great, I love it. But we were running extremely well and were still somehow in the red. We had to work half an hour longer before our first break. I have floating rib syndrome, so I felt like I was being crushed to death. So I go to break, and my boyfriend and roommate then completely waste it by being completely useless by not giving me good descriptions on if i had to pick my roommate up real fast or not. Our first break is 20 minutes but it really flies by. And I had to use the bathroom. But now I had to wait.

It was also raining out badly. So as I was working I began thinking about the storm (it made the lights flicker because the rain was heavy.) I wanted to know what a power outtage was like there. So I thought of it. And started humming thr Song of Storms from the legend of zelda games. And as I reached top speed and power that I could hum, concentrating on my wishes the lights flickered. Then power went out entirely. Phone service too. We find out later that two tornados touched down. One on either side of the factory, same distance away. Destroyed all the telephone and power lines but nothing else. There was no reports of tornados. No emergency alerts. No sirens. They just came and went. We didnt even hear it happen. Could just be coincidental but it still was very strange and scary. Lately I’ve been having a higher sense of being powerful, as well. But I just wanted to share. Nobody was hurt. Just the lines.

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I remember wanting someone who was irking me to get into a wreck one time. Having no regard for timing or focus, I set my chaotic intentions out there, assuming it will reach the target. I woke up that night to a violent car crash right outside my house, but it wasn’t them. I wrote it off and thought nothing of it since it was a random car.

I didn’t seriously ponder me being the cause for the event until a roommate made note of it happening. It’s weird how it was just an innocent “Did you guys hear that?” But deep down if felt like one of those moments while experiencing a synchronicity; like it was something I was supposed to pay special attention to. I could’ve easily kept writing it off, but her comment just really stood out.

I’d say you will more than likely experience the same regarding your own situation. Look out for those omens, especially jarring and oddly incongruous ones that may even give you chills. The universe likes to confirm shit. It’s like the energies that you sent out echoing.

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Funny, as I left the forest meditating today two big tree branches snapped and fell behind me, with two people witnessing, it probably got them thinking “wtf did he get up to in the forest”. Perhaps your thought didn’t instigate it but abruptly fueled it through the synchronisation of conscious effort. It happens a lot.

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Well the thing that I’ve noticed most is I have nightmares about tornados constantly. And my mood seems to directly impact the weather. Like I’ll be really depressed and suddenly a sunny day goes cloudy. The wind especially, as Ive tested making soft wind-like noises (similar to whistling) and the wind does the exact strength, speed, and such that I blew. I know my elements are also air and water. As Ive done palmastry to myself before and my hand shape is definitely a mix of the two. But I’m so glad nobody was hurt. Still a lot without power though…

I’d recommend backing down a bit from so much concern. Yes, we should treat spirits with respect, but as equals, not as superiors. Father Lucifer doesn’t much like groveling or worship. He wants to work with us, and see us advance. So, I think that, of all spirits, Father Lucifer is the most easy-going.

(Okay, seeing the sentences above, I’m wondering if I need to call a demon to make me more judicious in using commas.)

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My trouble is treating spirits that arent nature spirits (ie demons, angels, etc) as equal. Because I was raised as a catholic with the fear of God smashed into me. Ive pretty much always been a neo druid. But I have trouble not feeling (for lack of better wording) lesser-than. I haven’t been doing my best at keeping up with his teachings either which is what confuses me about my doing so well and becomming more of a goddess type. I figured I made him mad because I had been very suicidal for about a month after quitting my job. But now I’m not sure.