Feel like Im losing my mind, could use some advice or help, even possible scan?

Curious what your thoughts would be on a person who suffers extensive mental illness attempting to continue practicing magic, maybe seeking to grasp onto something tangible so to start healing. Doesn’t want to see dr.s. could very well lose job if they knew how unstable the person feels.
Traumatized as a child by abandonment, physical emotional and sexual abuse, suicidal, depressive,
Suffering from OCD, ADHD adult version, Bipolar,
Borderline personality disorder, married into an alcoholic drug addiction spouse who perpetrated domestic abuse and who was narcissistic. Stepped into satanism to regain a sense of control over their life, but ruins all their relationships by swinging between extreme insecurities and crazy sex drives. Curses a bf one day because he was found cheating then next day is casting love spells when they get mad and leave over the insecurities and accusations… lately Always questioning their own thoughts and actions because the dont know what’s real anymore or what theyve been projecting. Thinking the bf is a narcissist then thinking maybe theyre the actual narcissist themselves, and rampant feelings of how it’d be better to just end it all…
Wondering if someone could maybe do a scan, because no divination system used is working.

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I’d recommend they go through some kind of rebirth and enter themselves fully into one current. Magic changes us, but it’s the resistance to the change that produces mental breakdowns. You see it a lot with people who try to enter in lovecraftian magic: the magic creates changes and expands the sorcerer both mentally and astrally, but their desire to remain themselves and remain independent of the cosmos is what breaks them. Once the sorcerer learns to let go of who they are and incorporate the changes freely into themselves, the deities within the current iron out the original flaws the sorcerer had. To broaden the example, people who change currents regularly experience far more mental stress than those who settle because they never really undergo the full immersion and transformation ie. they stay in that resisting stage.
Of course, the person in question would have to find out what current ( if any) they are naturally a part of.

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How do you know youre in a current, or how do you surrender to one?
Hence the asking for a scan perhaps? They started off in pomba gira calling to Maria Padhila and turning her to their matron a few years ago when love went wrong and caused severe heartache…, then wandered off with sword of azazel and felt the call of Belial, returning to each in a random fashion. Also when very young tried to summon rhe devil himself to make a pact with…always drawn to the dark but afraid to work with it, switching back and forth between trying to find god and find power and control over their lives by embracing satanism.

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Honestly, it differs from person to person. For me, the current showed itself through my magic at the time. The scan could be useful: help narrow things down.

Magick is originally part of a complete spiritual path that focuses on mental-emotional-spiritual balance. The way it’s done today is taking it out of context. It became a thing in itself, that people are seeking without understanding of the underlying risk.

Mental illness is not a problem if the one is practicing magick as part of a whole spiritual system to obtain that missing balance. Some people use Yoga, others engage in more religious practices - without necessarily belonging to any specific religion - such as practicing and adopting spiritual teachings of Buddhism or Hinduism.

When that is accomplished, one can use magick without worry about the side effects because the rest of his-her spiritual activity would keep the mind centered, and not drifting to any extreme poles due to the intensity of doing magick.

That’s what I would suggest. To find a spiritual path and teachings that you feel comfortable with spiritually, mentally and emotionally… and use magick as part of it. Instead of using magick on it’s own.

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Core shamanism as taught by the Foundation for Shamanic Studies (FSS) may be helpful, it avoids the innately destabilising stuff you find in the darker paths while giving you tools to heal and ways to explore your various problems, and past events.

I’ll send you a turorial for the basics, if you can find a local shamanic healer/teacher affiliated with the FSS try to find out if they can help within your budget, also try looking for forums and groups online that work with this specific method.

The “wounded healer” is a powerful archetype in shamanic work and your pre-existing problems are no barrier to acquiring power, knowledge, and personal healing.

If you, or anyone else, are having thoughts of hurting yourself, it is important that you discuss them with someone who is qualified to help, such as a crisis helpline in your country. Please visit this link to find the appropriate number:

http://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres

If you feel that you may be an immediate danger to yourself, please call your local emergency number or go to your local hospital emergency room right away. If you are unsure of the right number to call, please visit this link and call the number next to the country where you are located:

Please seek help from a medical professional or someone you trust in your offline life if that’s where you’re at right now, your thinking may be overwhelmed by your current situation, so reaching out for help in the offline world is important.

Here are some additional contacts, also for anyone else who finds this topic and is feeling the same way:

US: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)

US LGBTQ Youth (the Trevor Project): 1-866-488-7386

US Veterans Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255 (press 1)

Canada: 1-800-784-2433

International: Befrienders Worldwide http://www.befrienders.org/

Australia: 13-11-14 (lifeline) or 1-800-55-1800 (kids help line for 5-25 yrs old)

UK Samaritans: 116 123 (UK) & 116 123 (ROI) free of charge, or e-mail: [email protected]

Almost every country has a similar crisis line and people who are waiting to hear you out, and help as much as possible.

If that seems too much to handle, consider joining this group that offers non-judgmental peer-support if you think it will be supportive:

https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/

This might also help, if you can’t talk to anyone right now, no matter how supportive:

https://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

But please reach out for help in the offline world if you think you are likely to harm yourself.

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My honest thoughts:

You seem to be thinking and writing clearly. You have your senses together and could probably do an IQ test. You haven’t lost your mind at all. Your emotions are beating up the inside of your head, and that can be really miserable.

I don’t know your position on things like perscription medicine or if you live in a legal weed state or whatever, but some kind of vitamin “fuck-it” might not hurt.

Or maybe it’s time to ditch that cheating boyfriend and make a few changes. Drink lots of water and go on a hardcore positive kick. Do yoga and talk about being centered and annoy the shit out of anyone in a bad mood on purpose. Fuck 'em.

Attack the problem not yourself. You’ll be fine.

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Mental ailment and occult is correlative. I don’t doubt it. It attracts people of different ailments (in search for means or a cure), or the open minded.

To continue projecting energy into magick when unwell physical or psychological is to basically exert every little bit of energy you got left. This can leave you feeling extremely exhausted, stricken by fatigue, isolation and confusion.

It’s very daunting that’s why Iike to remind others to be careful with magick and not to detest limitless power as a playground. If you are not grounded with responsibility then you’ll burn out quickly within these realms.

We all have a past, we’re all humans and we make mistakes at the end of the day. The pace and paradigm of life that we’re on at the moment, we’re basically surfing the peak swell of the Kali Yuga wave. The worlds shifting into another paradigm and its implications are affecting us globally. We need to stop. And simply enjoy the moment.

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I too suffer from extensive mental illness (bipolar 1, anxiety, beat ptsd but started on this path while suffering due to extreme child abuse, and brain-trauma related impulse control problems and math difficulties, 2 lazy eyes that used to be so bad I was literally blind for over a year, living in a house full of people even more of a mess than me with no supportive role models, also was anorexic and extremely suicidal at start) and following this path has helped me so much. I usually only do magic that directly concerns me only so I won’t impulsively destroy someone else’s life, but when focusing on empowering myself and learning to master my own mind I have come so far. Since starting with magick, I have beat severe ptsd, anorexia, several drug addictions, got my vision back to a usable point, relearned how to read by myself and am currently successfully relearning math with no human help, and slowly got less and less suicidal so now it’s only an issue when things get really bad. Everyone works differently, but this is an example of how magick can really help someone with extensive mental illness.