As of late, I have been finding myself fighting myself. Fear has been a factor in my life as long as I can remember. Fear of being embarrassed and bullied came to mind when I was younger; I was apart of a mobile sort of lifestyle at that age. Moving and making friends only to lose them and make new ones. Now my new fear as of before my journey here has been, betrayal. I would not be able to be stable as of now if the friends that I have been friends with for so many years, just up and leave on me. I don’t know why but that is how I see it.
I bring this up because as of recent in this months time I’ve experienced quite a bit. Having invoked a succubus and forming a connection with Lilith. From self-doubt to lessons learned I feel like I have hit a wall. My fear I believe may be holding me back from what I want to do. I want to further my relationship with my succubus and Lilith as well. Somethings I read make me just shoot myself in the foot. I get paranoid from some things like the old testament stuff I read about, just looking for info on Naahma.
I’ve learned from a lesson from Lilith that doubts are not good for anyone. Reason being is clear. But for some reason, I can’t get over it. Fear seems to manifest whenever I do something with Lilith or my succubus, Magnolia. It seems like fear manifests itself in many ways and I can’t control it. Whether it be uncontrollable shaking or thankfully short-lived paranoia.
I ask for some insight and advice that may help my situation.
Thank you for your time.