Fear of?

New Magician Help & Introductions
1

My “better” or “other half” is one reason I want my spell casting, especially now, to be error free, done my the book or even perfect, is that I have someone to share my life with, and for all the things I put into my spell cast the other night, I actually worry that I’m not doing it right, or doing enough to manifest itself.

There is no point for doing these unless I can share it with him. Yes, I cast spells, make offerings and like like for myself, very much so when I’m attempting to scry with he flames and smoke, but now, that I have felt “that old feeling” where I begin got doubt myself and whether or not the spell worked and will manifest, just ruins my confidence, no matter how much I study, meditate or make sandwiches about. or over. I need the confidence and, yes expediency of knowing that I was heard and my spell will manifest itself asap.

By nature, I am impatient, very much so with this. I know I need to relax and get my mind off of it, but my my partner is coming home from deployment in about a month and a half, and I want to dazzle him with great things. He’s been deployed on peacekeeping in USCENTCOM (aka Africa) and living as a soldier in austere conditions for over a year. I don’t doubt him coming home will be all he wants or needs, but I want to surprise him in a big way. Its a mutual thing, my LHP work and his service to the country. I’m am vet of Desert Shield/Desert Storm, so we’ve both endured the hot weather for far too long, and being so far away from home, we both relish coming home. I just want to give him something special as I had no one or anything when I came back but only the pre- Don’t Ask Don’t Tell stigma and ostracizing facing my every move alone with a HUGE fear of everything, everyone, etc. He deserves much better when coming home to me. He didn’t have to deal with all I did, but being over there with IED’s and terrorism has its own toll on a person.

What is it that I can do now to further the chance to have my spell manifest itself, and, also, what can I do to eliminate once and for all my dreaded feelings that come after a spell-casting, or back in the day, my prayers?

Someone please give me some advice that’s practical.

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I absolutely understand that its entirely possible that the spirit(s) I invoke, and even try to evoke, can desire not to answer me or even acknowledge that I exist, but as I stated in my first msg just above this one, how can I multiply my chances of being heard and having my spell(s) come to fruition and therefore become manifest? I need practical advice, and maybe some help with overcoming my shortcoming of doubt?

Has anyone experienced this as well? What did you do about it?

I’ve posted before that I am “needy” and you’re goddamn right, in this I am super-needy for help.I’m fucking sweating this!

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Voltaire said that “good is the enemy of perfect”, and in this case in particular, I agree 100%

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I think you might be getting in your own way when it comes to waiting for your work to manifest. The constant need for signs or clues as to whether or not your spell will work will probably slow your work down to a screeching halt. You have to have faith…I know that’s cliche to say, but you just have to…

You spent the better part of what, the past year and some months, waiting for your partner to come home, right? In that time, you had faith he would come home, alive and in one piece? I’m not even trying to be funny by asking that, I was an Army wife to a combat soldier; he was deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan, so I know how it feels to wait for your partner to come home alive…but you’ve been doing it. That’s the hardest part, the wait. If you can wait for him to come home, and have faith that he will make it all the way through the deployment, why can’t you use that same faith, that same belief that your spell will manifest in the time it’s supposed to?

I know it’s something you really want, but you have to give it TIME to work. You also have to believe that what you did was enough to create enough energy to manipulate your world to create the change for which you petitioned. You just have to.

If it were me, I would forget the spell, I mean totally forget I performed it, prepare for my partner’s return home, and soon you’ll start seeing results. I know it’s hard to forget about the spell and have doubts, but you aren’t doing yourself any good wondering if it will work. Give yourself a chance…believe what you did worked. When those doubts creep back in, just tell yourself, the spell will work, and focus on something else.

I hope that helped :bouquet:

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Thank You! I have been accused of getting in my own way since I was a child. I suppose as children, my sisters’ and younger brother did have a sense of “I want what I want when I want it, and I want it now”!! We were spoiled children I suppose- but life doesn’t work that way, AND I do know that, its anxiety and strong desire that is hindering me. (BTW- you’re the only person who has responded to my post, with the exception of 2 no-no admonishment’s from the moderators, which were rightly and justly deserved.

I can’t just go make a sandwich like E.A. has mentioned as well as other’s. But I can try to forget about things for a while.

If you read my post from Friday (I think) where I mentioned that I was moved off the sofa by something other than my own power, I think the spirits grabbed me quite honestly and for that I am both grateful and humbled. Even at 48, I still have a lot of that spoiled child on me. Funny though, I don’t have any road rage or things like that.

I know its hard to wait for, I was warned or, rather, informed, that it DOES take time for things to manifest in our LHP practice. My impatience is mounting just because Dennis is coming home at some point in October… I just want to dazzle him with a welcome home that goes over the top. I was a sailor in the era of Desert Shield/Storm in 1990-92, and my welcome home was nothing short of a disaster… someday I’ll spill ALL the beans on that- I’ve posted some of the highlights (nee “lowlights”) in my feed on this platform, just not right now.

May I ask what you do to forget about casting spells in your experience? I could use some hands-on, practical advice on the doings of it. For, me, it does have to be physical AND mental. Forbidding a calamity or really bad luck, both seem to help me focus, but when I’m done… guess what! My mind wanders back into that impatience fixation. Perhaps you have had a similar experience? Please tell me, and for all forum reader’s of this post, I hope you will as well, what you do specifically, without too much personal info, to actually forget the spell casting. I’m going to drive myself crazy, as this means so much to me. I’ll be PATIENTLY* waiting to see what gets posted.

*LOL

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Just a quick note: I do find myself immersed in “The Dragon Rouge” or “The Grand Grimoire”… I just really started the book, but its something I find hard to put down. I don’t think I’m “moved by a force other than myself” like I was when moved to go ahead and cast the spell, but it is great reading and educational for me… everyone in our circle here would do well to read it. It was a rarely available book until the advent of our current state of technology, and it is available on line. Expensive sometimes, but not too much so as to prevent anyone from reading it. I actually found a pdf download of it, as to its completeness, I don’t know, but it does immerse one into reading it.

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Yes, very much!! See my follow up post!

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Just a note on The Great Grimoire… I can’t condone the rituals with live animals, but that’s just me. Also, it is now available many places as a free pdf download, so the cost is really nil unless you’re looking for a very old copy in print (originally in French I believe)

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Usually when I have a spell cast, I forget about it. I’ll admit, I used to dwell on everything, overthink things and wonder if every little thing that was happening was a result of the spell. Nowadays, when I do a spell, I don’t necessarily think about the ritual. I tend to think about my end result as if it were happening now. If I do I spell for love, I see the desired result in my mind, treat it as if it were already happening and go about my business. Same with money, job whatever spell. each time it pops into my mind, I just push it out. It’s hard to let go, but I do it anyway. It’s also easy for me to let go because I try to stay busy. I have my kids and all their activities and issues, I go to work, I have a lot going on so it’s hard for me to sit and dwell on the rituals I perform.

another thing you might want to try doing is asking your spirits to give you a sign that they heard and accepted your requests. I do that and usually receive the signs I ask for. Once I get the sign that’s it, I’m good.

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WOW! It really is that simple isn’t it? I’d been dwelling on it all day, but I just followed your advice, asked for a sign that they heard me (coz I still have a l’il bit of skepticism… but not nearly as much as before I read your post). YOU ARE AWESOME!! Many thanks!!

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Maybe your reply was the sign?? Who knows, right? Another member of the forum mentioned that I should act like I’m 10 years old and still playing rather than be so scientific and precise about things. Easier to forget about that way. Great advice!

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Hey Opto, how’s it going? How do you feel about your spell?

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I’m doing everything I can to not think about it! LOL
But some divination that i’m doing is coming back saying that it’s “on the way” but to expect a delay… WTF? :wink: I am biding my time with domestic duties and getting ready to start working m=on my bike that’s been in storage for over a year- that should keep my mind busy.

How are you doing??

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14

That’s wonderful, that’s a great way to keep busy!! I wouldn’t worry about the delay, at least what you want is on the way :hugs: That’s awesome news.

I’m ok, I’m thinking of working with Belial. Something is pulling me to him and I think I may try to connect with him later tonight.