I can’t seem to rid myself of the christian paradigm, as much as I’ve said fuck god in the past, I fear progressing myself down a left hand path. I have immersed myself academically in the occult, and carried out several rituals, the results of which, while astonishing that these capabilities are in my hands, using them strikes moral dilemmas for me.
For example I do ritual for increase of income, small scale with salasash, and the ritual works immediately, in the form that I take 2 more shifts from my co workers because both my co workers had pressing matters at home. I also have an increase of tips. You see now i cant help but feel bad for my co workers who have now have less hours, less tips, and who knows to what extent the pressing matters were.
So I have the capability to manifest wealth and a plethora of other things black magick has to offer but at what cost in the end?
These morals in me are holding me back from potential you could say.
Friend, fearing “God” is like fearing a mountain. It is inert, it has no thought or purpose, but it is present and kinda makes people queasy at times. That “God” you speak about is just as every other organized religion way of ensuring loyalty and, of course, tithes.
From my experience, the real God is an unknowable source of creation and destruction, a force behind existance so vast that it would be comparable to an ant percieving a whole living room. Something so out of scale compared to us that, well, no answer can be enough to understand the totality of it.
Yet what I can tell you for certain are a couple of facts:
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There is no justice in this world. There is an idea of it, and angels and entities that take into their hands that retribution happens, but when you take a closer look to it? You realize it is through their own selfless efforts rather than because it must happen.
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The only god who matters here is you. The Left Hand Path is not about sacrificing people on an altar or doing evil things through magick to make people lose their living, health, lives or loved ones. That, my friend, are just methods.
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The Left Hand Path tells you to focus on what you want. The Right Hand Path tells you to focus on what you are.
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The Left Hand Path tells you that you are god, that you are a being who can use magick to his own purposes. The Right Hand Path tells you that you must be pure or some other kind of spiritual configuration to progress.
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The Left Hand Path tells you to be a bit selfish. The Right Hand Path tells you to be utterly selfless and detached.
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The Left Hand Path tells you that there is no other better cause than to dedicate your efforts for yourself. The Right Hand Path tells you to dedicate your self to causes, or purposes, higher than you.
So what path is right? Both have answers, both have lies, I say embrace totality. Friend, these paths are not positions around a moral subject. This is not republican or democrat, this is not pro-life or pro-choice.
It is about functionality.
You want to heal someone? You can either pray, or you can focus your energies on that person. Simply as that. It is not about justifying, bearing the healing in mind, psychic vampirism in order to gather energy and heal that person.
No sir. It would be like compairing methods of earning money. You can either start your own business or you can work for someone else who pays you for your work.
There is no moral in magick but the one of the caster him or herself.
In truth you should only focus your attention in one question: Is this fair what am I doing? And then go on from there. Do not believe some “god” will come and punish you for that. You use magick to your own benefit and that is cool, there is no shame about it. Some of your female coworkers will wait tables with a generous cleavage in sight to gather better tips. Are they being evil? Friend, it is not like you’ve made a coworker wither away with a curse so you could get his position.
You are responsible for dealing with your problems as much as those coworkers are responsible in dealing with theirs. But by all means, if you feel you are not being fair, then cancel the spells you’ve weaved. I say you should care more about yourself.
Simply ask yourself this (yes, another) question: Who cares about me? Who really goes out of his or hes way to show me some kindness?
This doesn’t mean you should be cold and heartless to others, but it begs the question to wether you really love yourself or not.
[quote=“thinktank123, post:1, topic:3889”]I can’t seem to rid myself of the christian paradigm, as much as I’ve said fuck god in the past, I fear progressing myself down a left hand path. I have immersed myself academically in the occult, and carried out several rituals, the results of which, while astonishing that these capabilities are in my hands, using them strikes moral dilemmas for me.
For example I do ritual for increase of income, small scale with salasash, and the ritual works immediately, in the form that I take 2 more shifts from my co workers because both my co workers had pressing matters at home. I also have an increase of tips. You see now i cant help but feel bad for my co workers who have now have less hours, less tips, and who knows to what extent the pressing matters were.
So I have the capability to manifest wealth and a plethora of other things black magick has to offer but at what cost in the end?
These morals in me are holding me back from potential you could say.[/quote]
I totally understand what you’re seeing here, and have dealt with these same questions myself. So, I have a few questions for you. Do you want to be a servant, or a master? If you want to be a servant, then, if God exists, he’s you’re route. If you want to be poor, walked on, bullied, rejected and used then God is your route. If you want to feel ashamed every Sunday in church, by a person who is either doing the things he’s making you ashamed of, or robbing you blind with a smile, then God is your route. If you want to walk humbly and turn the other cheek while your enemies rejoice over how they’ve taken advantage of you, then God is your route.
Why? Because these are all the things the “God” applauds. He loves the meek, humble, rejected, poor, blind and forgiving. He will love you if you don’t masturbate, don’t have sex unless you want to impregnate your wife, get drunk, laugh too much, watch violent movies, watch sex scenes in movies, listen to the “wrong” kind off music, and certainly don’t engage in any sort of gluttony. Then, be sure to pay your tithe to the glutton making you ashamed every week of doing those things. Of course, he’s carelessly engaging in them all.
Or, do you want to be a master? Do you want to make our own choices? Do you want to enjoy life, while destroying your enemies? Do you want to seek and attain high positions? Do you want to seduce beautiful women? If this is the case, then learn to close your conscience that is limiting you, and become the greatness you were predestined for in Black Magic.
It might be useful for you to engage in cathartic rituals of blasphemy, such as a black mass or the ritual described in Paul Huson’s Mastering Witchcraft.
Thinktank, maybe it’s not necessary for you to completely rid yourself of a paradigm. The Christian paradigm does ‘work’ for those that are in alignment with it. I know that because I fall back on it at times too. There are times when I feel extremely weak and I’m not in my own full power, so the God of the Christian paradigm is there to pick me back up. I’ve had to do this recently, actually. I had a dream where I was screaming out to Archangel Micheal for his help, and I woke up knowing that I needed to turn back to the God of that paradigm in that moment. There are other times when I feel more confident in myself and my own inherent power that I can rely more on myself, though.
All your answers have been helpful, I will continue to embrace my Godhood, one can’t help but ponder long term consequences though. The more and more I think about the oppression I escaped from as a child (hellish abuse in a fundamental mormon family) the more motivation I feel towards finally sculpting my life as the God that I am. Thank you all.
I am very happy to read about your resolve. Keep in mind that you ARE a god, and have always been. You are merely awakening yourself. Be however you want to be, but make sure you stay in control.
Have a great day man 
no beating around the bush, your a fool if you say that. all power granted to you is your divine linage FROM God. Just because the majority of rejects down understand God and want you to fear Him, yes I said Him deal with it, God doesn’t deserve nor ask for your fear. But your respect is required.
If you think taking the left handed path will put you against God, just ask yourself this “Who created Lucifer?”
The god I refer to is Elohiem, Adonai, The God of Abraham, and the God of the Mormon faith. The God of this world, and this world alone, he did not create the cosmos and existence, He may have created this world and assisted in the shaping of nature and the birthing of life but he did not create the conciseness existence of I or Lucifer for the matter, Lucifer who is irrelevant here actually.
I have evoked and spoken to this “God” and he is just that, a God. A controlling one at that, oppressive to his faithful. He offers keys to salvation but only in the time he decides to impart it, and the knowledge that would bring mortal men to ascent is forbidden by him. (When I say evoked I mean I demanded his presence forth, not some wimpy ass prayer, and I communicated with him in spiritual clarity.)
This knowledge is of course ascertainable through the wonderful door of the occult, knowledge and revelation of mysteries pouring into the mind in an escalated growth of spiritual strength and knowing.
I seek freedom from any of this God’s influence. I don’t want the salvation he offers, I want my own salvation. I want my own Godhood.
That means I must develop my God like abilities right?
Well I have a short lifetime to try to do that.
So what if I spend a lifetime developing abilities that are awesome here on Earth, and but are then just not up to parr with other entities, who could theoretically overpower me… like “God” who would be mad at me for using black magick. And then cast me in a fiery hell.
Okay. So I must be able to walk through Hell. I must overcome Hell to overcome the oppression of “God” for if I am Godly enough myself that hell hath no fury only then will I have bested this “God” and become something of a true God myself. Right? or maybe Im just insane… and talking to demons… mwahahaha.
First off this is a great topic and a series of equally admirable responses. The only reason I feel that I can contribute to this thread is that I originally came from a christian background, Hell my pop is a bishop lol.
I recall when I was a lot younger, teens possibly earlier I shared a similar conflict where my I was dissatified following the christian pandagram. Simply because I felt that there was more. More to it’s teaching more to reality and more to myself and my spirituality. I was equally afraid of these thoughts and personal beliefs that any moment I was going to be smited god is going to shove a lightning bolt up my keister or what not. Or worse the church would somehow find out somehow.
So I tried to compromise, started with Christian science books like “The Science of the Mind” (Ernst Holmes). Now mind you, its a hell of a read for a kid but I powered through and still felt dissatisfied. Then tip toed over to energetic healing i.e Reki. Me being a martial artist I thought it would be a perfect fit, and since I didn’t get smited yet again god was cool with it. Made some decent headway, yet still not satiated. The thing that stuck with me though was the symbols channeled into auras.Symbols led to sigils.
Eventually this “desire / hunger” to know led me to my first ritual. I was so terrified and felt this was going to “destroy me” (a little dramatic at that age lol) that it backfired on me fever for weeks chills etc etc. It was a culmination of that neurosis and inexperience that got me sick, but at the time I thought god flicked me with it’s pinky or something lol. As a result I stopped for a while which felt like loosing a limb. Not the actual practice but the search of what I was looking for.
Eventually I had to make a decision : will I? won’t I ?do? I don’t I? What I am trying to say is that your intellectual pursuits have led you to the point that you are now. It’s obviously for a reason. Your doubts and fears can only hinder you from whatever your looking to get out of this. Morality should not hinder you from your magick. Your morals in this caveat should act as the foundation of how you operate. If you feel bad about others missing out on money, then use your magick to alleviate the issue. Meditation, Self evaluation/analysis, Gnosis, Rituals or what have you can help with these issues, also check out :" Undoing Yourself With Energized Meditation and Other Devices" by Christopher Hyatt is a good read in regards to this topic. So sorry for the rant kinda let my fingers get out of hand lol, and I hope this helps in any way.
Best
Keez
I’m from a similar background. I’ve been a Christian, until my early 20’s. I joined a Christian forum, and I eventually started being drawn to Wicca. I posted a thread saying that I needed help because I was losing my faith, and what did they do? Instead of helping me through my struggle, the administrator took away my posting privileges for 2-3 weeks, and told me to PM him if I feel like I’m Christian again, and at that point he would THINK about restoring my posting privileges. No offer to help, no resources to turn to, NOTHING!
I ended up lying and saying that I became Christian again, because I liked the community (other than the administrator), and I wasn’t really AGAINST Christianity, just on the fence. Later, I became an Agnostic, then an Omniist, then a Gnostic (Novus Spiritus to be precise), then a Deist, and then I met Illustrious while commenting on a Youtube video and he saw my potential, so he started telling me about how I could become a God myself. I still had major doubts, and I was afraid that I would end up becoming a bad person, but he explained everything well and now I have no more fears.
As far as your situation goes, there is no crime in wanting to be more successful. Wanting a higher lot in life is perfectly within harmony of the universe, and if you weren’t meant to get more, it wouldn’t work. Those people who had something come up, it might be possible that they didn’t work as hard as you and were therefore, not worthy of the money they were making, or they probably did get compensated in some way, and the unexpected things that came up were most likely harmless. Magick is self regulating, so as long as you’re not out to harm someone (unless there’s good reason, such as self defense), you have nothing to worry about