So lets talk about magical failure. I’ll share a story. As some of you know I have been opening Azazel’s sigil and trying to talk to him. Well I decided to do a full blown evocation of Azazel and learn from him. Long of the short it was a total failure. I was a little bit (lot of bit) disappointed.
I mean, what gives?
I turned to my journal to see if I could glean any answers. From what I saw there are five spirits that I have evoked into physical appearance, and more importantly got results from. Leafing through my notes I noticed something. I took at least a month of research before I even attempted evocation of the spirit, with Azazel I did like…four days of sigil work. I found my problem, I let me ego get in the way of my progress. I thought I was a big bad sorcerer, and I ignored the hard ground work. I should have been reading up in Azazel, talking to others who work with him, doing divination, cognitive mapping, immersing myself. Preparatory immersion as EA says, or “Doing your homework” as Andrieh Vitimus says.
That is where I went wrong.
Here is what I want to say. It is ok to fail, that is how you learn. Luckily I keep a journal so I could look back and compare my experiences.
But here is the second lesson I leaned. I had to embrace my failure. I had the option of sweeping it under the rug and just assure myself that I didn’t really fail, I am a super mage…right?
Wrong, and that was a hard pill to swallow. I have had some success with magic but I let it go to my head and I got too big for my britches. If I selected the option to sweep this under the rug and act as if it didn’t happen I would have lost a valuable learning opportunity.
So that is what I wanted to pass on. Failure is not the end, just be honest and learn your lesson.