Eye of the storm

So, I’ve been falling down this rabbit hole for a while now…

Knowingly and of my own free will, of course.

I feel like I have reached a sort of impasse… I feel like I’m at the calm and quiet center of the eye of a storm, in a circular chamber that branches off in infinite directions from its center, like the symbol for chaos. I know it is because of my indecision. But knowing that doesn’t seem to help. I constantly feel like every decision right now is HEAVY, and no matter how seemingly important or insignificant the choices may see, it really does feel like from this point, anything I do can either tip me onto the perfect path to my own personal heaven on earth, or crush my further, and send me deeper into blackness.

Do any of you experience this really intensely? I hate to admit any sort of weakness right now, but it is making everything very very difficult for me. Choices/Decisions, and just going about my daily routine… I sometimes choose to do absolutely nothing, and that is definitely not the right thing to do.

Basically, it boils down to a dilemma I have been experiencing within myself when it comes to living my life either according to my free will, and my experiences, and gathered knowledge, and balancing/living the life created for the herd of sheep that roam this Earth. By that, I mean “Society”, and this wretched system people endlessly reenforce by choosing to live within its laws, rather than rise above it… and blah blah blah.

When you experience and feel on such an intense level… a level that which if you tried to explain it to anyone walking down the street you’d be labeled as absolutely insane and ridiculed for it… The world and the sheep and their system and their laws all seem fucking meaningless, am I right?

I feel like the right choice is to jump off the edge of this metaphorical cliff, just outside the eye of the storm, and live my life according to my will, and fully immerse myself in the left-hand path completely and absolutely.

There is so much of my old life I am having a hard time letting go of. And people that I’m not ready to just abandon yet… But I feel like I have to. To jump into the unknown and chaotic beyond. Magick has been pouring itself into my world more and more each day, practically screaming for me to ACCEPT MY PATH COMPLETELY…

Honestly, I seek some counsel, advice, anything. Do you all feel this way all the time, too?

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Sigh…
Baneful Magic. Baneful magic. Baneful magic.
The problem is not society or your life or magic or that you arent “accepting your path” completely. The problem is Attachment.

You are Attached to Society, people, things and that is causing the Darkness in you to become unstable. The reason you feel as if any decision you make will plunge you into darkness or your personal heaven/hell, is that the decision is one of ATTACHMENT! Not individual choices.

The Dark Gods dont give a single fuck about you wanting a tv, friends, comfort, etc. They arent asking you to give that up.

They are asking you one thing:

Are you gonna let these desires for these things limit the flow of Darkness and Power in your self and Aura?
Destroy the energies of these things from your Aura and you will have the power to control them and gain as much of it as you want.

You are similar to Buddha and Shiva. You can either embrace your Destiny and Destroy your limits to power or you can remain weak in yourself and continue to struggle.

Makes sense?

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Perfect sense… You’re definitely right. Sometimes I just need to be a slapped around, or shaken about a little bit… This network is a good thing.

You’re completely right. Time to take a breath, let the darkness in, and stop worrying myself with petty things… Nothing on this Earth put in place by another human being should be distracting my focus from ascension.

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Also, I appreciate you putting the energy into a well thought-out and constructive comment.

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All you need is focus man. And Peace.

Peace + Power = Ascent

Frustration + Power= State you are currently in lolol

You got the power. The peace comes in knowing that you can Destroy your World…and Ressurrect it at a whims notice…and create it as you see fit

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Perhaps you already are immersed in the Arte? But I’ve been going through something similar. When you’ve spoken to and evoked gods more ancient than mankind, all of the pettiness of society seems meaningless. Especially when most people don’t know the name of said entity, let alone be able to pronounce his name. But as EA said, what’s the point in seclusion from society? You have to be part of it to rule/affect it. Build a tribe of kind and accepting people around you. They don’t have to be magicians. None of my friends are. But they value my gifts and don’t think I’m damned to hell for the works I do. Live above society, not within or below.

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Well said! :+1:

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