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A couple bottles of whiskey and some hallmark cards every christmas.
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Are you at odds with a living parent or a dead parent?
The point of ancestor worship is that it connects you to your roots and will help wounds in your family, living and dead. You simply need to speak to them and work your shit out.
edited by request of SOG[/quote]
Are those enemies blood relatives?
I wouldn’t try to work with the ancestors to do something about it. Your ancestors will get pissed off and you will have unimaginable problems.
And when it come to ancestor veneration, if one person does it the whole living family will benefit from it. I have seen my relatives have all sorts of doors open in their lives from my continual services. So much so, that I had to tell the ancestors to help me first, because they were putting some cousins so far ahead of me.
If you want to affect a family member with magic use spirits that are not part of your family bloodline and that were never worshiped by your ancestors, in other words: a foreign spirit.
I have a similar issue as the OP, well 2 different problems really. My parents divorced right after I was born and I never had a relationship with my father, he was adopted but nobody has been able to find out anything about his birth family. My father finally drank himself to death last year, and was unpleasant to me, putting it kindly, for my whole life. So I’m not sure that he’d be any better as a spirit, some say that people don’t really change after death, if that’s true then there’s little chance that he would help me.
On my mother’s side is generations of mental illness, the “locked up in a home” electric shock type. Again, not sure if they could/would offer me any constructive help, or that it would even be a good idea to try in this type of situation.
At the same time, I feel certain that I am not the first person in my bloodline to have an interest in this sort of thing, so it may simply require a greater degree of discernment/skill that I currently have.
Or perhaps I could try something like what granchemin suggests, and look for a spirit/demon who might be able to help my ancestors on both sides? Are there situations where you really shouldn’t ever even attempt ancestor work?
If you are afraid that there may be problems in your ancestral line I would recommend getting advice from an ATR priest or priestess before advancing.
An alternative would be to seek out a trained shamanic healer, you want someone with plenty of experience (not just slightly older, a lot of people come to this stuff aged around fifty but that doesn’t necessarily make them more skilled, you want the person to have had many years of practice as well) and unless you have access to people in your area with an existing spiritual lineage, preferably find someone allied with the Foundation for Shamanic Studies, they can be a bit white-light but their training is really good and having done that stuff myself I believe it’s up to the task of dealing with this kind of issue, and finding you safe ways to make connections and heal problems.
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You may wish to have someone speak to your ancestors for you to determine if there are any issues.
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That’s good advice, thanks 
Sorry for the thread hijack too!
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